August stats & back to school

As I suspected my August stats weren't quite as high as July. There were no more stroller runs and it was hard to motivate myself to use the treadmill when the sun was shining and the kids had things to do. I knew it was our last month of summer fun so I let running take a bit of a back seat. We had some traveling to do and at the end of the month we went to Great Escape for the first time. We actually stayed for 3 days. I did my long (10 mile) run before we went and then spent the weekend walking the park. It was the perfect end to our summer--quite literally since we got back the day Chewie had her bus safety day at school. The next day the big kids went back and the day after that Chewie started kindergarten. This is our first full week of school and I'm anticipating being able to get some stroller runs done as well as some Jessica Smith videos now that I only have one child at home. One child who naps. I hope the weather holds out as long as it can so I can keep up with the stroller runs.

It is quiet without the kids and I miss them, especially Chewie since I am used to her being around, but they all seem to be happy with school this year. Chewie is doing great and got on the bus with a huge smile on her face. It makes it somewhat easier to let her go. I am glad I have LightRunner to keep me company and entertain me. He repeats EVERYTHING I say and has such a great sense of humor. I think he will fill the void okay.

Next weekend is SkyWalker's 10th birthday party so I'll be doing my long (12 miles) run on Friday, which is less than a week after doing my last long run (Sunday, 11 miles). I have reached the point when I am looking forward to tapering and kind of wondering if I want to do this again. It's hard to fit in with soccer schedules and school requirements and life. It's much easier to squeeze in a 6 mile run than a 12.

Stats:

August:

Mileage: 56.7
Runs: 11
Races: 1
Crosstraining: Swimming, biking, vacuuming

June: lasts, kids, & stats

June is always such a crazy busy month. Field trips, field day, flag day, last parties, early dismissals, birthdays. This one was no exception. Chewie turned 5 in the beginning of the month and we celebrated by getting her ears pierced and having lunch at Dave & Busters and swimming in our new pool and Mommy not running. Oh well. The girls will be having a joint birthday pool party next week to continue the fun. We also went to another 30th birthday party just to make me feel even older. 

Chewie graduated from preschool and had her last gymnastics class (I don't do it once they're in school). I'm not planning on putting LightRunner in gymnastics, partly to save some money next year, but also because if I'm going to put him in anything it will be basketball. He truly loves it and I think he could do really well. I don't think there are any programs for 2 year olds though. Chewie also had her last speech session and that was actually a bit sadder than her preschool graduation. She doesn't need any services over the summer and when she is in kindergarten she will have what SkyWalker did--speech correction once a week. The speech teacher there thinks she probably won't need it for long but after a summer of nothing and with kindergarten so demanding these days, I wanted to make sure someone was keeping an eye on her at school. She is doing SO much better and I would hate for her to lose her progress because they have kindergarteners doing advanced calculus now. 

LightRunner will be two in 18 days and is less and less baby-like and more big-boy like every day. It is bittersweet. I eagerly look forward to not changing diapers (10 years is a long time) but he is my last. He plays with cars all the time and says "weeerrrr" and we could probably get rid of all the baby toys we have. He repeats nearly everything we say and calls me "Mama" and sometimes makes me want to have another one. But I don't want to jump the shark. I'd rather end on a high note. He is definitely embracing two and likes to make things difficult sometimes but knows when to use his dimples. I had to stop giving him big boy cups--not because he couldn't drink out of them but because he is a thrower. He intentionally throws his cups of milk across the room and I couldn't stand it anymore. So we're back to sippy cups until he can control himself. 

SkyWalker is at basketball camp and will soon be taller than me. He survived 4th grade and pulled it together at the end. His grades in each subject in his last report card went up (except social studies which stayed at 98). He got above 90 in everything and really worked much harder than in the middle of the year. I hope this means 5th grade won't be so tumultuous. 

The Princess had an awesome report card and once again got S+ in Art. She's a hard worker in everything and likes to teach Chewie things. She's slightly less batshit crazy, although yesterday she told me sometimes she gets angry for no reason and then she just has to stretch it out. Oookay. I need to get her running longer distances. 

They are all going to camp for the next 4 weeks. It was hard for me to fill out the paperwork and actually do it this year, but I am telling myself that it's not babysitting, it's an opportunity for them to all have fun without each other and without me and to do new things. It'll be good for Chewie to make friends with kids going to kindergarten. It'll be good for me to have some time to get boring stuff done (filling/trashing all the paperwork on my office floor!) and to do some stroller runs and have some one on one time with LightRunner. I can't send them everyday because I am odd, but I'm planning on sending them 3 times a week. I wish I could be one of those moms that just says "See ya" and ships her kids off here and there, but I'm not. Even if they drive me crazy, I'll take that crazy over anything else in the world. 

I've probably gone over my break time and I still have 3 book reviews to write. 

Stats:

Miles: 43.8

Runs: 9

Races: 0

Cross training days: 6 (not including swimming!)

Not my best mileage month, but not my worst. Last June was 28.4 miles!! I've got my half-marathon training plan on the fridge so I should start seeing that mileage go back up. 

Wildcats Marathon

In addition to races, the kids have been doing a lot of running lately. We know this because we're keeping track for the school's first marathon. It's not a traditional marathon but it's an awesome idea. The kids from Kindergarten through high school (and their families too) run 25 miles over the course of 6-7 weeks. They can run any distance, they can run/walk, they can do every day or just a few days as long as it all adds up to at least 25. On the last day all of the participants will get together and run the last 1.2 miles.

They earn a wristband for finishing the marathon as well as other prizes (most miles, age awards). Most importantly they are given a taste of the joy of running and the opportunity to get their families involved. I've signed up SkyWalker and the Princess. I thought about signing up Chewie as well but I think I'll wait until next year when she is in kindergarten. I could sign up too but I already run plenty and I want this to be the kids' "thing." So far we've all run together at the park, they've run on the treadmill, and they've run by themselves in the backyard while wearing my Garmin. 

My school also has a running group for 4th grade and up that gets together to train for a local 5K. It's a great idea, but they meet at 5:30 in the morning. We're not doing that. So we jumped at this opportunity that's open to all grades and is very easy to fit into our schedule (provided it doesn't rain or snow for the next month). The gym class also does something called the stick run in which the kids run a designated route outside and collect "sticks" as they pass the gym teachers. The sticks tell them how far they've run. The kids love to compete for the highest numbers of sticks and they get really excited about it. I WISH I had been excited about anything in gym class when I was that age. Anyway, all the running they do for this will also count for their marathon logs. Awesome. 

I hope it's a successful program and I'm glad my kids are a part of its inaugural year. 

Those kids I have

I was going to write about yesterday's kickass intervals, but I haven't done a kid-post in a while.

Last month LightRunner turned 18 months old. I can't quite believe so much time has passed. I think it's a bit more bittersweet knowing he is my last and I won't experience those early infant days again (and I do love those early infant days.) But 18 months is also my magic time… I can see his little brain ticking. I can see him absorbing EVERYTHING. It's so unreal how you can just see the difference when their little wheels start turning. He stops and thinks before he does things, he does things to deliberately make me laugh, he remembers things from day to day. He's starting to say a lot more words and repeat a lot of sounds. He helps me unload the dishwasher and hands me each individual item saying "he-ah" (here) after each one and "thank you" after I thank him. He loves his Haze, but he also loves playing with his siblings. The Princess can make him giggle just by looking at him and sticking her hand out to pretend to tickle him. The other day he jumped on SkyWalker and wrestled him. I love this time when he is learning so much and everything is a wonderful new experience for him (and mess for me). Next year it will be just him and me and I am already planning on resurrecting my Preschool Playdates program and really cherishing our last year before preschool starts.

Chewie is doing really well with her speech--twice a week--and enjoying her new preschool. She talks to other kids in gymnastics and at preschool and has come a long way. She and the Princess are always playing make believe and when the Princess is not here Chewie just plays by herself. I frequently hear her talking in the living room living out whatever fantasy she is making up. She is ready for kindergarten and going on the bus with big sister. I'm not sure I'm ready for her to go, but we have 7 months to get ready.

The Princess is as crazy as ever. I've talked to a lot of moms with 6 year old girls and it's almost universal. The happy one minute biting your head off the next syndrome. She has done better with her tantrums, but she is still very quick to anger. Over the most ridiculous things. She's doing very well in school and I have no problems there. She does her homework right away, works hard on everything she does, and is well behaved when she is there. She doesn't seem to involve herself in any of the girl drama. I suppose it's better that she saves her crazy for me, but I look forward to this phase ending.

SkyWalker is not crazy but he is lazy. He is SO smart but he just dislikes doing hard work. And anything that he thinks is going to take more than 5 minutes is hard work. His handwriting is horrible, still, and he will often put the minimum amount of effort into anything (except Minecraft). His first report card was so good--nothing below a 90--but the one he will bring home today will not be as good. His grades have fallen in both math and science, mostly because of the ridiculous common core that's supposed to make things so much better. If he had a worksheet of simple multiplication or division to do the old fashioned way he would get it done no problems. But he can't do it the old fashioned way. He has to use their strategies. Look up number discs. It is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Vader and I don't agree on much but we are in unison when it comes to this common core crap. Anyway, SkyWalker gets annoyed that he has to do this extra work when he already knows what the damn answer is and he tends to skip directions and get points off. In the last couple of weeks he has improved a lot with math and is putting more effort into following directions and labeling. I threatened to take Minecraft away and that seemed to have an effect. This is the first year that he cannot rely on his raw intelligence and he has to actually work. I think his grades going down might actually be beneficial for him (and his low grades are 85s, we're not talking failing). He's playing basketball and seems to enjoy it a lot more than soccer. He's not very good because he's just not an aggressive kid. He told me the other day that there are two boys at his table at school and one was kind of mean to the other and said that he was going to work on a project with SkyWalker and that the other kid had to work alone. SkyWalker said no, they would all work together. So, I'm okay with him not being aggressive enough for sports.

Sink or swim

The ginormous binder my 9 year old has to lug to school each day.

This is it.

No, not my half-marathon post. That'll be coming.

This is the year that I finally let SkyWalker sink or swim. He is so very very smart but so very very lazy. He has made it this far because I have nagged him to get his work done on time and I have pretty much held his hand each year. I don't do it for him because I'm not that bad. But this year he has to be responsible for himself. He has a giant binder and sees all three teachers and it's kind of like middle school in 4th grade. So he has so much more work to do. I have tried to teach him not to wait until the last minute, not to put off his work just because it's not due yet because he doesn't know how much more he will get by the time it is due. I've tried to teach him to take pride in his work and do a good job. 

But I've got to stop holding his hand. I've got to stop checking his homework to make sure he hasn't made stupid mistakes because of rushing to get it done so he can play minecraft. I've got to stop micromanaging and telling him what to get done. I've got to let him be in control. Even if it means his grades suffer and he doesn't live up to his potential. He has to learn to swim or he will sink. And I will have to let him.

He just turned 9 years old. I look at him and see him at 9 months old. But I need to look at him and see him at 19. Confident, indepedent, hard-working people don't wake up that way. They are made that way. I knew when he was first born that if I wanted him to sleep on his own I couldn't feed him, or rock him, or let him sleep in my bed. I had to teach him as a baby to do it by himself. The same is true now. If I want him to work hard and be successful, he's going to have to learn how. He's going to have to learn failure as well as success. I'm not doing him any favors by shielding him from that failure now.

So this is it. This is when I step back so that he may step forward. All I can do is hope that he actually does.

Another summer of fun

A perfect summer beach day with our family.
I love how many kids there are!

I feel like I wrote this yesterday. Lamenting the loss of another summer and the return to school. And yet here we are again. I'm happy to say that so far we have NOT repeated the fighting and yelling and pushing each other away! Possibly because we've done our fair share of bickering this summer but also because I planned things a bit better. We had our Long Island trip in the beginning of August followed by fun at home and then our first real vacation as a family. We went back to the mountain that Vader and I got engaged on and spent a few days doing fun family things. They weren't perfectly behaved every single minute (well, the Princess wasn't) but they did really good and it was a lot of fun and I hope we get to do it again. Since we got home we've had nonstop fun. Our last trip to the local small amusement park, playdates with good friends, and this weekend we'll have a BBQ with some newly discovered local second cousins. This summer we've caught fireflies, gone fishing, done a lot of swimming in various places, gone to museums and playgrounds. We've had lots of family time with LightRunner's first birthday party and our trip to LI. We've truly packed it in. We had wanted to do a drive-in movie but that just wasn't in the cards this year. We also wanted to do a local hike but I discovered that they've closed it... but it's okay since we managed to do a hike while on vacation. We've managed to do all this between speech for Chewie and PT visits for me. It really was a great summer.

Will we resort to the moody yelling this weekend? Maybe. But I'm going to really try to prevent it. We've been having major battles over food--what else is new--but I'm trying to institute change slowly so we're not at war every night.

In just a week they will be back at school and we will go back to the demands of homework and projects and school lunches. Chewie will start her second year of preschool the week after. LightRunner and I will fill our time with food shopping, running, story time, and whatever else I can manage. But this week we are still enjoying summer. I'm trying to get as much laundry and crap done today so we can have one more Friday Fun Day tomorrow. Instead of lamenting the fact that it's over, I want to celebrate all the fun we had and start planning next summer.

Running update: check. Kids update: check.

It's been all running for a while around this here blog. Which is appropriate since that's what's on my mind now. I promise to talk about other things though. Sometimes. But first two running related things:

A couple of weeks ago I was running on the treadmill, as I often do during the week, and things were going along fine. I was listening to the Another Mother Runner podcast and had just taken my iPhone off the treadmill dashboard to switch to another cast when all of a sudden the treadmill stopped, started up again REALLY FAST, and threw up a big plastic silver ball. I had been pressing the stop button but it took a while to stop. I should have pulled the emergency cord, but didn't think of it. Which is funny because I had a MILLION thoughts at the same exact time. Seriously:

• I can't drop this iPhone.
• I'm going to die on this treadmill and I didn't shave my legs. 
• At least Lightrunner is safe in his crib when he starves to death.
• Will SkyWalker and the Princess get off the bus if I'm not out there?
• Chewie is the LAST person I want responsible for my body. 
• She's going to go upstairs, poke Haze in the eye, Haze will nip at her and everyone will blame Haze and I won't be able to defend her. 
• If we have to fix this treadmill there goes my damn TV money.
• Where the hell did that ball come from?

Once the treadmill stopped, I turned, looked at Chewie holding the silver ball and said, "Er, ah, eee, uh" and then she said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're okay." Hmmm. I asked if she threw the ball at me and she claims that she did not. It's possible it just rolled over and got sucked up. Possible. But she's not quick to apologize for things. The frame holding the belt was off, but I was able to stick it back on enough to finish my run. Vader glued it back together and we haven't had any problems. 

Second, last weekend I did my long run, 4.5 miles, yes, that's long to me right now. That's not unusual. What is, is that I did it with other people! The Princess has joined Girl Scouts and the troop leader is a runner and lives nearby. There's a whole group of them that go out weekend mornings. It was the best 4.5 miles I've had in a while. I like to run alone sometimes, but other people keep you motivated and keep you from listening to your weak inner voice telling you to stop. It was close to my house with nice, fun, ladies and I'm hoping to keep running with them as my long run gets longer (particularly once I start training for the half in October.) 

And that's the running.

******************

The kid updates I haven't done in a while:

SkyWalker gets older and bigger. He's one of the tallest kids in his class now. Who could predict that?? He is constantly bouncing a ball and wants to get a big hoop for outside. I was going to wait until the beginning of the summer to get it in lieu of a birthday gift, but I might get one sooner. If he wants to do physical activity, I've got to support it before he changes his mind! He has decided to be a Syracuse basketball fan and took the bus to his friend's house the other day so he could watch a game. They had soda there and he asked for juice instead knowing that we wouldn't want him to have soda. How many 8 year olds would do that? Not many. I told him I was so proud of him that he could make good choices without me there, even if he did moan and complain that he was the only one who couldn't have it (as it turns out it was special occasion and not a regular occurrence.). He's doing good in school and we have fewer homework battles than we did at the beginning of the year. He is SUPER obsessed with Greek Mythology right now and is currently typing up everything he has learned. 

The Princess is loving school. She just joined the Sneaker Tying Club for kids who can tie their own shoes. She has wonderful handwriting and is a hard worker and really coming into her own. She LOVES the Girl Scouts and I get to see a side of her I don't normally see when we go to meetings. She seems to really thrive in a group of girls... she gets so silly and happy. It's nice to see. I still think that she wants a true best friend, like big brother and little sister have, but she has no problem making friends and it's nice to see her in a group. 

Chewie has once again gone through the speech evaluation process but this time she qualifies.  Most people don't understand her and I am constantly translating, even for her father. She doesn't really let it stop her from talking, but it's better to get it cleared up now and not have to wait until kindergarten. She loves to dress herself and wear mismatching socks. Two different socks, not just socks that don't match her outfit. I have given up fighting. Her hair is a mess constantly. I go back and forth on whether or not I want to get it cut short. She might look really cute... but her crazy hair kind of goes with her spunky personality. And she is without a doubt spunky.

Lightrunner is eating green beans and avocado and peaches and pears and seems to like his greens more than his fruits (yay!). He's gaining weight and happy. He has his two bottom teeth now and I'm sure he'll have more soon. He can be up for hours and still smile. He truly lights up a room and everyone who sees him has no choice but to smile and talk to him. He brings happiness everywhere we go. I am so very lucky I get to go out on a high note... my last kid is just pure joy.

I have ignored the mess in the house for far too long. Dishes need to be done, laundry, cleaning. What else is new? I run, I exercise, I read, I care for children, and then frantically "catch up" on my "rest" day. I gotta start getting up earlier... I repeat, what else is new?

It's that Kate & Allie episode all over again

You know what I'm talking about. It happens every year the week before school starts.

Remember Kate & Allie?

Photo by CBS/Getty Images

Kate & Allie's daughters were getting ready to go off to college and Kate & Allie were getting ready to not live together anymore because that goofy guy was moving in. They were so sad at the idea of all this change and not seeing each other every day that they got angry and fought with each other. They didn't know why they were fighting until the end of the episode, of course, but it was to prepare themselves, to make it easier to separate. It's easier to leave someone when you're fighting and not happy.

We do this the week before school starts. Every year since we've had to worry about school starting. It's  so predictable and yet unavoidable for us. We truly like being home together. We love the summer. So when school comes knocking we're sad, even though it's needed, and we fight and yell and argue and I start to think I can't wait for school to start, even though I know what I really mean is, I wish school was starting yet.

This summer is no exception. It went by SO FAST. The first half I was moody and uncomfortable and afraid of premature labor and then afraid of no labor. And then Lightrunner came and Vader was home for 3 glorious weeks. We did so much as a family, so many things we hadn't done before, visited places and had fun. We've been trying to do as many playdates as possible with friends we hadn't seen in a long time. Trying to fill every moment. Nana came for a visit. Cousins came up for a visit. It was the perfect summer. But there's still so much we didn't get to do! We didn't get to go to LI, so we didn't get to go to the beach. There were other friends we didn't get to see as much.

And now. It's over. Tomorrow I bring Chewie to preschool. Vader will stay home with the others since he needs to go with the Princess on the bus later in the day for her bus safety day. SkyWalker starts 3rd grade on Wednesday. The Princess starts kindergarten on Thursday. Lightrunner and I will be alone for 5 hours a week... I am looking forward to that time and am truly grateful I have him to share it with... but I will miss my big kids. Even as I get annoyed every time SkyWalker has to come and try to snuggle with Lightrunner--as I'm breastfeeding him. I get annoyed with the bickering and the messes and a million things. Yet, I will miss them. The silence will be nice, but there will be a void.

Today we go to the local state park where I will take the big kids (SkyWalker and the Princess) running with me while Chewie and Lightrunner stay with Vader on the playground. Then we all play and have snacks and have one last day of summer fun before we are consumed with school schedules and responsibilities. And wait to do it all over again next year.

Catch up

I know.

It's been a while.

Everything has been on repeat... laundry, dishes, etc. I straighten up the house all day long and it's never done. Skywalker's room is fine because he's in school all day and he has to clean it up himself. The girls room is always a mess... The Princess is capable of cleaning up but most of the messes are made by Chewie. The large majority of messes are made by her. Vader's solution is to tell Skywalker and the Princess that they have to clean up her messes, but as the oldest child I just don't think that's fair. So I wind up doing a large part of it. She's napping less and less and in her room... making messes. The other day she put aveeno lotion in her hair and I had to give her a bath when Skywalker came home from school.

We're potty training now... and it sucks. This is the first time I've done it during the school year when we have to leave the house and it's setting us back because I put pullups over her underwear to try to help protect her clothes. She's fine when she's naked. She's getting better about staying dry when she's wearing underwear. But she just does not poop in the potty. When she does it's a fluke. She'll sit and try, but for the most part she's either pooping in her nighttime diaper or in her underwear. In some ways I wish I hadn't waited until I could stay home for an entire week or 2, but I didn't. We did stay home the first couple of days because I was sick. I was just so tired of wrestling with her to change her diaper.

I had Skywalker's Parent/Teacher conference yesterday and he finally has a teacher who understands his strengths and is positive and encouraging. He's doing so well, finally reaching his potential. He's doing his work well, but also finishing it, something he couldn't do last year. She said he takes his time, but she's okay with that because he's doing quality work. He's her strongest reader, she has a range of kids who read 22-108 words per minute and he's the 108. We already knew he was good at math, but he's also good at writing, which shocked me because he doesn't like it. But he says he doesn't like to handwrite because his hand gets hurt, he'd rather type. Apples. Trees. I have an online blog because I don't like to write in journals.... She's going to try to incorporate the computer more since he's so good with it.

The Princess is doing well in preschool and if I could send her to kindergarten now I would. She's driving me a bit crazy. I call her Sibyl... she'll be fine one minute, cleaning the floor for me, and then screaming the next because she doesn't want to pick up a lego. She's been hitting me A LOT. She's been in time out every day for a week now. I'm not quite sure what's going on... she talks like a baby a lot too so it could just be that she thinks she needs to act like Chewie to get attention.

Naptime is all screwy and I haven't been able to run a lot. This week has been the exception because Vader was home yesterday and he'll be home Friday so I'll have 3 outside runs. Last Sunday I ran 7.2 miles. It took me forever, but it was less time that it took me to run 6 the week before. I would like to run a half marathon someday, but I don't see it happening soon.

Haze is still on the leash and taking pain medication for her leg. It's a giant pain in the neck. I don't know how much longer we have to do it.

I have dishes that need to be done and messes that need to be cleaned up and books that need to be reviewed. And a throbbing headache. But I'm getting cuddles from Chewie so it's all good.

Blathering

School started a few weeks ago and we have yet to fall into a good routine. The girls were sick last week and that screwed things up. Chewie has been taking later naps, leaving me with very little time. She finally fell asleep at 2 (after taking her diaper off. Again. I don't even care if she wets the bed, I just need her to sleep.), I got the Princess up there shortly after and that leaves me with a grand total of 40 minutes. Yesterday we had gymnastics so she was tired enough to fall asleep at 12:30ish and slept a good 2 hours. I was able to run my intervals and shower, and they woke up just as I got SkyWalker off the bus. I'm not sure what's better--to have more time to myself or to have them sleeping when he gets home. I think it's the former. And I think we're going to have to get up a wee bit earlier in the morning so naptime is earlier.

The Princess is ready for kindergarten. She's ready to go and I'm ready to send her. I'm going to have to request a teacher who is very patient with little girls who don't know how to stop talking. Because she can NOT STOP TALKING. My head is going to explode.

Chewie is talking much more and repeats everything and likes to tell me to be quiet and shhh and "top it." She's very rude. She's peeing on the potty again but not doing anything else. She likes to take her diaper off. And her clothes. Big surprise. I don't know why my children always like being naked. I would like to go cold turkey and potty train her, but I don't want to have to stay home. And I can't stay home because of preschool. I need a school break, but I don't want to do that over Thanksgiving or Christmas, so that leaves February. But that seems so far away and I am so very tired of wrestling her to get a diaper on her.

SkyWalker is doing well in school. He has a nice positive teacher so I think things will be good this year. He is getting tired of living in a house with so many girls and gives me guilt trips on a daily basis. He is definitely growing up. He used to be so grateful for anything and this birthday he complained about the books I got him, the legos I got him, everything. I intended on saying "I'm sorry your birthday has been so disappointing." but instead I said "I'm soSOBrry, your SOB birthday SOB has been so disappointing SOB!" (No, I cannot blame this on pregnancy hormones. I am still not pregnant.) He left the room. Vader followed him and I wasn't sure at the time whether or not he told him to be more grateful or not to worry because Mommy does that crap to him all the time too... but he did eventually thank me for everything and seemed to be genuinely happy with it all.

I've done very little. Dishes/laundry/sweep. That's pretty much it. And run. I stopped writing articles because the payback was so little compared to the stress of trying to write multiple articles a week. I generally just read the books I have to review for VOYA now.

Vader and I went to see Primus last night. I didn't recognize many of the songs, but it was a good show nonetheless.

Haze hurt her leg, the same way Isaac did years ago. Vader took her to the vet yesterday who confirmed that she should have surgery. He also said, however, that we could medicate her and keep her on the leash and make her comfortable. At first we both thought there's no point in that if she did completely tear her ACL. But then I came on here and looked up Isaac's SECOND injury and all we did was medicate him and keep him on the leash for months and then he was fine. It was when I was pregnant with Chewie and we really didn't want a second surgery. I would like Haze to be healed... but I don't really want to do another surgery. Besides the fact that it's another $3000 that won't go towards redoing our attic (if we ever redo our attic), I just don't want her to have to go through that. If she has to be in the crate for 2 months and won't be able to lay right next to me...  When Isaac hurt his first leg he couldn't even get up the deck stairs. I had to put a ramp out so he could get up. When Vader touched it, he didn't howl in pain, but he definitely yelped a bit. Haze has shown none of that. She'll still run if we let her (we've had her on the leash for over a week), she doesn't yelp or cry or seem in pain. She's just limping and walking funny. I'm kind of leaning towards giving her the medication, keeping her on the leash, and waiting it out. If she gets the surgery she has to be crated for months and then confined to a leash for more months. So we might as well wait and see.

Reluctant reading

When SkyWalker first learned to read it was miraculous. He would read a couple of words, pause to look up at me and smile, and then continue. He was so happy, so proud, so full of joy.

Now it's a battle every day for him to do his reading homework. He doesn't want to read out loud, or he doesn't want to read to himself, or he just doesn't want to do whatever he has to do. He likes shared reading and his definition of that is him reading a line and me reading a page. He absolutely does not like answering comprehension questions. Getting him to summarize what he's read is like pulling teeth. He can't remember details of something he read 15 minutes ago--yet he can recall scenes from movies he saw years ago and places we went to and a bunch of other things. I think he has two problems--he's not paying attention to what he's reading because he just wants to get done with it and he's not paying attention because he doesn't give a crap. I've told him he can read whatever he wants, his encyclopedias, magazines, superhero stuff. Doesn't matter, he just resisted.

For the past couple of weeks he's been getting work back from school with notes saying he didn't finish a particular section or he needs to slow down and read all the directions. He's also been biting his nails and sucking on his lower lip A LOT.

I had the idea that maybe if I could get access to Accelerated Reader at home he'd be more interested because it would be extra computer time, so I figured I'd e-mail his teacher and ask her if that was possible and then also just ask if he was nervous at school. She e-mailed back that they don't offer Accelerated Reader at home (for the record, I actually disagree with AR, but I'm not going to buck the system that much.) and then she called me later to talk about how he's doing. He does NOT seem nervous at all to her, which is good, but he does seem reluctant to do anything that he thinks might be too hard for him, even if it's not. She's had to tell him to go use the AR because she's found him just sitting at his desk, flipping through his anthology and shuffling papers around trying to make himself *look* busy (I actually find that hilarious). Once she tells him to do it, he does it. She said he's not being disobedient or rude or outright saying no, he's just reluctant to do it on his own. He has said the reason he doesn't like the comprehension questions is because he's afraid he's going to get something wrong because he just can't remember, so rather than try and get something wrong, he just doesn't want to try.

Argh.

So, she suggested we take a step back and have him read the earlier readers and really work on the recall so he can build his confidence by getting those questions right. It's hard to remember details when you're also trying to figure out what the words say. Once he knows he can do the recall, then we should work on getting him to read longer and harder books.

So, I took all of his readers, the level 1s and 2s and 3s, and spent Saturday afternoon coming up with comprehension questions for each book. 3-4 questions ranging from easy to hard, and assigned each question a point value. I typed them all up, printed them out, put them in a binder along with some looseleaf paper for him to write his answers. He can earn points and when he gets a certain amount of points he'll get some kind of reward. That was Saturday. He did one that day, did another completely on his own on Sunday, and started another one today. He said he was going to spend quiet time teaching his sister to read (we have yet another snow day). They were pretty quiet until just now, so maybe he actually did.

He has an amazing memory and he *can* read. I know that he can do this. I'm not quite sure what it will take for him to get interested in reading again. I'm hoping that our comprehension binder will help. He gets perfect scores on his math tests almost all the time (I think he's gotten one or two questions wrong out of 12-13 tests) because he's interested in that. He's only in 1st grade and if he's already reluctant to read and not able to remember what he's read... the rest of school is going to be really hard.

Yes, I know

It's been a week and you're all clamoring for reports of how school went.

SkyWalker surprised me with quiet tears on Tuesday morning. He couldn't even look at us when the bus passed by, deciding instead to hide his face in his sweatshirt. By Tuesday afternoon he came off the bus with a smile and he's been fine ever since. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to school, but just that he didn't want to leave us. I guess next summer shouldn't be the Summer of Fun, but instead the Summer of Mostly Fun with Some Boredom and Yelling Thrown in So You Miss School.

The Princess, however, surprised me the most. At the playdate she was wrapped around me and didn't talk to any kids and wanted to go home early and I thought I was going to be in for it when it came time for me to actually leave her at preschool. I anticipated a repeat of what happened with SkyWalker and preschool. But, once again, she proved that she's her own self. She wanted me to help her sit at the playdoh table and then she said "if you need to go to the library, I'll let you." And that was that. No crying, no drama. She's been fine each day, talking to her teachers and to some of the kids. She's not so good with remembering names but she's only 3. When Chewie and I pick her up she's on the playground right there with the kids, not off by herself, not running away. She may not be actively playing with them yet, but she's there with them. Which is more than she would ever do before. So that's been one giant big relief.

Chewie and I went to the library and danced. We went food shopping yesterday (!). We decided we would do the shopping so that Daddy could be home Monday nights and Mommy doesn't have to go crazy. Guess what? Daddy worked until 10:30 Monday and Tuesday nights! And he'll do the same on Thursday (Wednesday is Parent's Night at school) and he's going in to work on Sunday too. I won't be getting my outside run. Again. Guess who's kicking myself in the arse for doing the shopping now?

Tomorrow Chewie and I will get new tires put on the van. Joy. I have hope that we will eventually have fun during our one-on-one time.

I will say this--preschool is much easier this time around. I don't have my head in the toilet all morning before we go. Much easier to get ready on time.

First day of school Eve

Tomorrow is the first day of 1st grade for SkyWalker and preschool for the Princess. When I said I would miss him, SkyWalker said: "I know, but I always come home at 3." Then he said "When the Princess is in preschool, don't cry. Try to just have fun with Chewie."

At bedtime he said he was going to miss me and that he just wishes he could stay home all the time. I said "Nah, we would just fight all day." He said "Did we fight today?" I said, "No, not too bad." He said, "yeah, the other days were badder. I was trying today." I guess trying not to fight. We've actually only had a few really bad days. The vast majority of the summer was really really good. And even with those few bad days, and even though I know we're ready for a break right now, I'm still going to miss him. He's really, just, I don't know, something else.

Transitions

Last week I was not ready for school to begin. I was not ready for the end of summer, of our summer fun, of the routine we had established. I'm still not ready for the end of summer. I know lots of people are doing cartwheels because today was in the low 70s and a "fall day" but I think I should have taken an extra Vitamin D. I don't embrace the fall like others do. I tolerate it because it's not winter, but summer has always been my favorite. I need to feel the sun, to see it, to soak it in. This is the first summer that I actually have a tan, not because I was laying on the beach and tanning myself, but because we were out and about. Sure, I used sunscreen and I don't want to get skin cancer but I am proud of my tan. It is proof that I was outside more than I was inside. That I did what I set out to do. I am happy that I had a good summer and I'm still not ready for summer to end.

But. I think I am ready for school to begin. Vader left on Friday for a wedding in California. I couldn't believe what rotten timing it was--he's not getting back until wicked late Monday night. School starts wicked early Tuesday morning. But maybe, just maybe, it has worked out the way it needed to be. Because after all of this time without Vader, all of this time with just us, I think I am ready for SkyWalker to go back to school and he may be ready to go back too. We've had lots of fun moments--I took them all to a local county fair yesterday--but there have been a lot of arguments and fighting and raised voices. I think we're ready for a break from each other and we really weren't ready for it last week. It's somewhat hard for me to think let alone say. I was that mom who when sick would keep her son home from daycare, instead of leaving him at daycare so I could rest. I couldn't bear the thought of him being somewhere else if I wasn't at work. It wasn't until I was on work bedrest with the Princess that I ever left him in daycare when I was at home. So it's hard for me to say--even though lots of others have said it--that it's time for him to go. Now, I know I'm only sending him to first grade, not to the Hunger Games, but still.

The Princess has been less of a problem. I think her recent tantrums are actually a product of the stress between SkyWalker and me, and knowing that she's going to be starting preschool on Tuesday. She talks about it and knows that I am dropping her off and leaving and she smiles and proudly says "There's my preschool" when we drive by. But when we went to the playdate there on Wednesday she was quiet and shy and withdrawn. It was frustrating when SkyWalker did it because I hadn't experienced it yet. It's just sad when I see it in the Princess because I know what's she's capable of. I see her play with her brother, I see her lively and vivacious and animated. And when he's not with her she is just not herself. I'm glad that she draws strength from him, but it makes me so sad too that she doesn't get that strength from herself. I know that the first couple of months of preschool will be hard. I know right now that she will cry when I leave and that I will have to just keep leaving. But I hope that since I am starting her at 3, that she will open up quicker than her brother did when I started him at 4. He was fine going to kindergarten and he's a completely different kid now. I know it will all be worth it in the end.

The only one who hasn't been giving me trouble is the one I call trouble maker. Chewie had been cranky and frustrated. She screamed at me whenever she wanted anything. The last time we were at the library I opened up a parenting book on babies and talking and flipped to the 15 month old page. I almost took it home but then decided that I didn't need to read a book telling me that my baby was already failing because she wasn't doing ANYTHING she was supposed to be doing. And then just in the last week--the hardest week with the older 2--she has found her groove. She's walking a lot. She's laughing a lot. She's babbling and making sounds. She's not saying recognizable words or trying to repeat anything, but she's making sounds that sound like words. She said Mama and Dada and Nana a while ago, but she would never repeat anything and she wouldn't really use them appropriately. She seems so much happier this week and is much more talkative and much less screaming. Although she does shriek with glee which is almost as bad. I think she will benefit from having some one on one time with Mama.

I have not run outside since the last race. I've run on the treadmill, but it's just not the same. I should actually be running today, but my ankle is a bit sore and I'm just not in the mood for another treadmill run. I ran 5.5 miles last week and the treadmill told me it was 4 something. I know that the Nike+ is not the most accurate and that it will measure somewhat differently on the treadmill than on the road. But that's a big difference. And I FEEL the difference too. I was running at 5.0 which should have been a 12 minute pace. Slow. And it did not feel slow. I'm going to Fleet Feet on Friday to have my running analyzed so I can get a recommendation for the right sneaker. I'm looking forward to running on the treadmill there and comparing it with my Nike+. I want to see how it feels too, to see if my suspicions are confirmed or not. I am secretly terrified that it will feel exactly the same and that my treadmill is accurate and my Nike+ is not and that I haven't been running as much and I'm just a big fraud. I try to always do my long runs outside where I know that it's accurate, but that requires a present husband. If the treadmill at Fleet Feet feels differently I'm going to have to call the treadmill company and see what's going on. I finally found the manual and the lube, so maybe I just have to do some maintenance on it. Or maybe the craft paint the children spilled on it has screwed it up somehow.

It feels somewhat odd blogging like this here at blogger. I've been with blogger since Jan of 2004, but never personally. I always liked the ease with which I could check out the neighborhood on vox. It's not quite the same when you're reading it through google reader. But, I have to say, I'm liking that the feedjit widget is working. I've always had that on my book blog, but it never worked in vox. Now I can see where all you people are coming from. So who the hell is reading me from Kings Park?? And all of you people keep coming back but I only have one follower??! (Thanks Gina!)

The dogs are doing their nightly "Why isn't Daddy home yet?" barking. 26 more hours.