No, you're not crazy

There was a blog post here and now it's not. Those of you who are smart enough to subscribe with google reader or some other blog reader are now in the top secret club. Those of you who don't... sucks for you.

There was just a bit too much detailed info about Vader's job and I was given a gag order last night (and he didn't even know about the blog post!). Luckily he is a luddite.

So what about...?

The Princess:

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with the Princess I had an ultrasound to see if there was anything wrong with the placenta because of the partial abruption I had with SkyWalker. The placenta was fine, but they saw dilation (backed up fluid) in the right kidney. That was roughly 3 1/2 years ago and we have been dealing with it ever since. She's been on antibiotics every day since the day she was born. She was taken off after her first surgery but developed reflux and got a UTI within just 2-3 months and put back on them. 

Today was her latest ultrasound. There's still some dilation around the ureter they fixed, but it looks exactly the same as it did 6 months ago. Not better, but also not worse. We finally heard the words we've been waiting to hear--she can go off the medication. We'll have to be super vigilant about preventing UTIs from all the other ways little girls get them--holding in pee too long, not wiping correctly, etc. I am sure I will be more paranoid than ever now. I think I'll probably get those at home UTI test kits so I don't have to drag her to the doctor every time I panic. She'll have yearly ultrasounds to make sure that nothing is changing but other than that she should be okay.

*************

SkyWalker:

We had some bad days and got into some serious altercations, but for the most part it's been great having SkyWalker home. I almost don't want him to go back to school. Our problems always stem from the same thing--he makes some kind of mess or does some crazy thing and then when I tell him it's time to stop he refuses to listen and is disrespectful and rude and doesn't take me seriously. Until I explode and then he's hysterical. How quickly it takes me to explode seems to vary a lot lately. We've been doing pretty well recently. And when I put things in perspective, we only have these blowups at home, never in public. When we are out he is always very well behaved. He's a great big brother. How many almost 6 year olds do you know who willingly take their 3 year old sisters outside and push them on a swing? With a smile? He's always coming and getting Chewie out of the dishwasher and taking her to her toys and distracting her so she'll stop crying. He loves his sisters and I know I can always trust him with them. 

He has huge tonsils and probably huge adenoids and will see an ENT in September who will probably recommend surgery. This will royally suck since as we all know surgery sucks, but more so because he will be a big baby about the recovery. And this is the first time I have a kid having surgery who can actually say the words "I don't want surgery." So that's fun.

*************

Chewie:

She walks. I fought it, but she walks. She doesn't run and she still crawls more than walks, but she is putting one foot in front of the other on a regular basis. She also screams. She makes sounds and can say Mama and Dada and Nana and bababababababa. But for the most part her preferred method of communication is "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" very loudly. She can hear, she copies her brother's humming and singing, and she sometimes follows directions. She is just LOUD. Perhaps when she has me all to herself she will find her inside voice. It must be inside of her somewhere. 

*************

Running:

I had to cut down to 3 times a week, which is the funniest thing I think I've ever written. I have yet to do any yoga and probably won't. I do have a weight lifting routine that I will start after my race this Saturday. I am training for a 10K in October, but since I am pretty sure SkyWalker's surgery will be in October I'm kind of doing it for the training and expecting to not actually do the race. Whatever happens, happens. I ran my longest distance (4.5 miles) last Sunday and thought "I only have to do 1.5 more" not "holy crap how am I going to do 1.5 more?" So that's good. Oh! And my girlie problem turned out to be nothing more than some low-down cramping so I just have to take motrin 800 and I'm all good. It won't interfere with my running at all. 

*************

Working:

I've been thinking a lot about when I have to go back to work when my last baby is in school. I have no desire whatsoever to go back to work. But I'm sure Vader will have a heart attack if I say that. If I could find a library job that will let me work 9-1 that would be great. I want to get the kids off the bus and be here when there are here. I don't want nights or weekends. I just don't want that anymore. Ideally, I would like to find a job that will let me work from home. Even though I get paid crapola from the examiner I've been doing lots of articles. I'm trying to build up a resource between that and my book blog and establish my presence online again. If I can do some kind of freelance writing or even librarianing (I know that's not a word but I like it.) through the internets I think we'd be okay. Vader's school loan is paid off. Mine will be paid off by then. We won't be spending money on diapers. The only debt we have is the van and the house. And by the time the last baby is in school SkyWalker might be old enough to start mowing lawns. So, if you haven't been reading my examiner articles or going through my book blog to get to amazon, you're dead to me.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Acknowledgment

As is often the case I have about 7 minutes to type... 

When DGPMs get together one of the things we like to talk about is how demanding our lives are and how very little credit we get for it. When you're working for somebody besides a paycheck you also get performance evaluations, feedback, acknowledgment from your boss. DGPMs work damn hard and in addition to no paycheck we also don't get the feedback and acknowledgment that most people need. Our "bosses" are children. When was the last time your kid said thank you for teaching them to share or for insisting they take a nap?** When do they say "hey, you did a nice job wiping my butt today?" They don't. And our husbands often don't either. They come home and they don't see the whole day--they don't know that you already straightened up the house 3 times when they trip over a toy in the kitchen. They don't know that your toddler has been screaming at you for 2 hours. And often when we try to explain it just never comes out right.

So what do we do? We go online, on facebook, on twitter, and we find other people in the same boat who understand how our days are and how even though the intrinsic rewards and the snuggles and kisses are so worth it, sometimes we need someone else to say "good job!" So all of you DGPMs out there that read this, you know, all 3 of you, I'm saying good job to you! I feel your pain! I share your joy! I hear ya.

**In true make a liar out of me fashion my son just got home from school and he walked in the living room I just straightened up for the 2nd time today. He came back in the kitchen, hugged me, gave me a thumbs up, and said "Did you clean up that mess in there?". I think I just got a raise.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Snapshots

Blah blah blah. Blahbitty blah. 

Okay, then. I was having trouble starting but it's all better now. I remember back when I had command of the English language and could write in complete sentences. I was an English major, you know. Now I don't even finish my sentences... in my head. 

Chewie:

She is beyond amazing and I am so happy I decided to keep her after those first couple of scream-filled months. She is so unbelievably happy and content. She was up for 4 hours yesterday morning and was totally fine at gymnastics. It just boggles my mind. Of course at home today she was asking for a nap after only 3. I'm afraid to mention the t-word, but she was a bit cranky for no obvious reason... and her brother was 11 months old when he got his first tooth. She seems to be his little clone so I wouldn't be surprised if she follows him. She's sitting nicely now and pushes herself up which is very convenient. She's content to just sit and play and let me go to the kitchen. She's not crawling yet although she gets up on all fours and rocks. She made a couple of tentative forward movements but has not repeated them. She's just too content to crawl. She was 16 pounds at her last checkup a couple of weeks ago. Please note that I do not need to hear about your uncle's brother's cousin's kid who has a baby that's 16 pounds and only 1 day old. I don't care. I have small babies. I have size 2 pants. That fit me. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. And here's why I love my pediatrician--a lot of them would look at the number and tell me to use formula. Not ours. I'm doing something unheard of here and using her real name now--Dr. Melinda Clark @ Albany Med--is the BEST. She looks at the whole picture. She looks at our history and she looks at Chewie and she's not worried. I was starting to worry about solids but Dr. Clark is pro-breastfeeding too. So I'm back to feeding her 4 times a day and I'm not worrying about the solids at all. She's still getting 3 meals but I'm not trying to shove it in her. She's getting distracted while feeding so I thought it was time to cut out one of the nursings and drop down to 3... and then I was up with her at night because she was so constipated. So I'm back to 4 but I'm spacing them out a little more (4 1/2 hours now). I pureed peas and pears together and now she's eating pretty well. She has her brother's poop problems so the more green veggies I can get her to like, the better. Aside from the regular constipation issues, she's doing great.

The Princess:

We're doing really well. We've cut down on the tantrums a lot. She's able to stop crying and whining and repeat herself in her big girl voice when she wants something. And she is such a big girl! On Monday we went to the library and she actually participated and danced and did what the other kids were doing. She did great at gymnastics yesterday and I am so glad I signed her up for the next session. I had been wondering if I had made a mistake because the weather is getting better but she did SO well yesterday. I think she really needs the consistency to feel comfortable. It didn't hurt having big brother there a couple of weeks ago. There was no school so he came along and she was a different kid. One of the grandmas there said something about her being so animated and into it. Even though they have normal sibling problems for the most part I can honestly say that he brings out the best in her. She feels comfortable and safe with him and lets herself have fun and enjoy things. It's amazing and beautiful to see. She's a little chatterbox and talks ALL THE TIME. Except to strangers. She was convinced there was a crocodile under her bed the other night and woke up crying. The next day she told me that it had opened up the kitchen window with its mouth and walked up the stairs to her room. And then it left when I got up there. And that it was "so funny". Didn't seem funny when she was sitting on my glider chair crying for Mommy. It took me all day yesterday to get her to admit it was a pretend crocodile and not real. 

SkyWalker:

He still has random crazy outbursts but it's been easier to bring him out of them. Yesterday they were fighting and whining and I managed to end it with a game of Simon Says. His moods are still very much tied to his bowel movements. And he stills likes to eat nothing so it's a tough battle. I try to make at least one thing at each meal that he does like so that he will eat something, but sometimes it's not possible. Or he will just decide that he doesn't want it no matter what. He's gone to bed without eating anything plenty of times. It gets frustrating because I'm not making exotic dishes! I'm picky too and if I can eat it, he should be able to! But he's not crying about it. He just doesn't eat and sits there. Other than that, he's doing great. He did so well at gymnastics with the Princess. It was so much better than his first attempt when he was 3. He has completely embraced the big brother role and looks out for his little sisters. He takes the Princess outside to play. They stay in the fenced yard and he pushes her on the swing or they run around and climb on the bilco doors. I wish I could keep the dogs out at the same time and truly have some peace but Isaac is too much of a pain in the butt. 

Most days are filled with happiness and laughter. Every once in a while I have to stop and think and realize what a gift I have been given. Working was just not for me... I was miserable after SkyWalker was born and I had to work full time. It was better when I was part time, but... it is so nice to just not have to worry about going to work. To not have to interrupt our daily flow. I am incredibly lucky that I can do this. I honestly never thought I would be able to. It was always a dream--one that I wished for every day but never let myself truly believe I could have it. These are pretty good days and I'm not missing them.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Do me a solid?

I just started writing about YA Fiction. And getting paid for it. Amazing. It's hard having to write in complete sentences and use grownup words, but I think I can do it. Anyway, the more people subscribe and read it. Or well, really, you just have to look at it. You can click on the little link and then take a nap, that's fine. As long as the computer thinks you're reading it, I'll make some money. So far I've made a whole dollar. So subscribe bitches! http://www.examiner.com/x-36817-Albany-Young-Adult-Fiction-Examiner

Are you watching Modern Family? You should be.

My girls have yet to fall asleep. The dishes have yet to wash themselves. But it's all good. My heart is filled with glee and I burst into song randomly. All is right with the world.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Progress report

The Princess is doing much much better. She's walking on her own, climbing up the stairs (argh!) and making silly faces. I think we've turned the corner and now begins the hard part of keeping her from doing too much for the next month. I am so annoyed we had to drop out of the family place workshop at the library but the thing she loved to do most there was climb on the climbing toys and fall down the slide. Sigh. It is going to be a long long month.

SkyWalker seems to be okay now that his sister is acting more normally. He was a bit worried. They are very VERY close. He's back to being a goofball and in the same breath told me that I was the cutest mommy in the world and that I had a big fat womb and smelled like throw-up.

Back to work I go gathering tissue paper and feathers and streamers and aluminum foil shapes for the workshop tomorrow that we can't go to. :-(

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Surprises

When I got home from a long painful day at work yesterday I was greeted with 2 surprises: one, a car in my driveway and two, my daughter's hair is no longer in her eyes.

My MIL had arrived for the weekly lunch at 11:30 and was still there at 5:20 when I got home. When I get home from work I like to put my hair up, cuddle with my children, eat, and try to wash away the memories of the annoying smelly patrons who talk too much. I don't like to discover guests in my home. I really don't like to discover dinner guests! Luckily I had made baked ziti Friday night and Vader had it in the oven so I didn't have to make dinner on the spot. But that annoyed me even more--I had called at 4:50 to remind him to put the ziti in the oven. Could he have mentioned the fact that his mother was still there then? Apparently not. He didn't know she was staying for dinner until I got home. That is perhaps the stupidest thing he has ever said... how could you not know that? Who would stay that late and NOT expect dinner? If she wasn't staying wouldn't she have left when she usually does? After lunch??? Gah. So he got himself a free day... the Princess napped for nearly 3 hours and SkyWalker was with Grama the whole time. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the weekend when I have to work is knowing that he's getting a taste of my life...and getting the quality time he needs with his children... and knowing he was doing his own thing yesterday pisses me off even more.

The Princess has needed a haircut and we've discussed that. I did not expect to come home to her hair chopped off. Okay,  it's not all of her hair. He only did the front that was in her eyes, but he said that he didn't want to do it again in 3 weeks, so instead of stopping at her eyebrows and making it look okay he cut it higher.

It does not look good.

I mentioned this and the unevenness and that we would have to take her someplace professional and if she sat still for him it wouldn't be a problem. His fear is that she will get her eyes poked out or her ears cut off. Because he's so much better than a professional at preventing that... sigh. You know what's going to happen right? I'm going to go home today and her hair will be even shorter in the front because he will try to even it out. Right before our Thanksgiving picture. Right before our Christmas card picture. It's only hair and it will grow back. And when it does I will take her to someone who understands the difference between girls' hair and boys' hair.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Brain cells

I used to be so smart. Really. I did good on my SATs. Went to college in the honors program. Always did well playing Jeopardy.

And then.

Well, and then I had children.

And now I wear slip on shoes because I don't think I could handle shoe laces.

Need more evidence?

On Thursday night, after wrapping up an exciting evening of playing Word Challenge, I closed the web browser at work and saw a pop-up that said this: "Your System Administrator has determined that your current activity is providing a level of enjoyment beyond that which is allowed on company time. Your enjoyment will now be disabled. You may continue with this activity but you may not enjoy it. See your system administrator for more details." And then buttons that said "Ok" "Sorry" "Dock my Pay".

I instantly thought that my system administrator was screwing with me from home, since part of the night I had been chatting with her online. I logged off the computer when I couldn't get it to go away.

When I turned the computer on this morning I was surprised to see it still there. Since I was once again chatting with my system administrator online, I asked her about it. She had me run ad-aware and we looked into it and then I got busy. I decided to just run some spyware stuff because I just couldn't get rid of this pop-up.

And then. I realized.

It wasn't a pop-up.

It was the desktop picture that one of my co-workers had chosen.

This is almost as funny as the time I was hooking up my cable box in the bedroom because the floors in the living room were being done and I couldn't get anything to work and called up and then realized that I had hooked one cable box to the other cable box instead of to the signal from the wall.

I used to be so smart.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Distressing

I have just heard the most distressing news. Vomit-inducing distressing. 

I have to do storytimes. 

Besides the fact that what appeals to me about working part time is NO FREAKIN RESPONSIBILITY and PROGRAMMING, the fact that the programming I have to do is storytimes just makes me want to hurl. I haven't done storytimes in nearly a decade. The last time I did them I worked at another library and often planned storytimes that no one came to so it was all good. When I got to EG I did a couple because of scheduling problems when only two of us worked the damn department. We very quickly decided that I would rather work two nights a week and let my boss (who is no longer at EG to protect me) do all the damn storytimes. And that was it. I never had to argue about it... it was understood that I did not do storytimes. 

Until now. 

We're talking about the fall and only once a month but I still want to vomit. I should be able to spread the word and discourage people from coming. I'll have to perfect my mean face. Shouldn't take long. 

Completely unrelated SkyWalker got up at 6:45 this morning. He came downstairs and got in bed with, coughing in my face, and I said "Dude, it's not even 7. You're supposed to stay upstairs until 7. Go back to bed, you need the sleep!" He left, shut my door and apparently went back upstairs. He came back down at 7, hopped on my bed and said "Look Mommy! I got dressed all by myself." Sure enough the boy who needs to be wrestled and cajoled into putting on clothes picked out his own shorts and shirt and underwear and socks and not only put them all on, he put them correctly. Nothing inside out or backwards like he usually does when he's being silly. He even got his socks right. It was amazing. It was the start to a perfect day.... until we went to the damn library!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Wow

I've come back to work to two surprises. One I knew was coming but didn't really think I'd see it... a vending machine in the staff room. This will good. And bad. The second I also knew was coming but didn't think I'd see it so soon... the director is resigning. Crazy days at the library.

I know I'm pretty strict about our sleep schedule. I let the kids stay up for the wedding but that's it. No 4th of July or New Year's Eve. No staying up late because we're out at a friends or at dinner or something like that. Which is why it constantly amazes me when I see people bringing their little kids in at 8:30. Dude! And you wonder why your kids are having a tantrum now? Could it be that they are supposed to be in bed? Hmmm....

I called the doc today to schedule the deflux for the Princess. Hopefully we'll get a call with the date soon. Hopefully it will not be on a day I work or my boss will hate me forever. I think he does things on Tuesdays though, so it should be okay.

I cannot wait until I am just working one night a week. I may actually see my husband during the week! Woo-hoo!

I think my brain might be officially fried.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Whew

I came home from work last night and ripped the wallpaper behind the fridge and above the cabinets on the last wall that needed to be done. I finished up at 10:30ish. And then I saw this:

100_3365

Gah! Hidden away underneath a shelf. After breakfast I got back to work and now it is like this:

100_3366

And I can officially say that I am done with the wallpaper in the kitchen. I didn't think I was going to be able to do it myself. Aside from some help from SkyWalker (and my sister the very first day), I did it all myself. I'm not doing anymore. I am paying to do the rest. I don't care how much it costs me.

We've been doing pretty crappy with our letters of the week. Partly because I've been doing the wallpaper. But I've also been focusing more on his social development and playdates and things like that. And he's been spelling a lot each time he insists on checking his e-mail. He's doing a lot of things on his own now--playdough, making cards for people with happy face balloons and scribbles that say "Hi Dear [name] I love you." So he's still learning.

I've been presented with an opportunity at work. To do less of it. It would be easier for the schedule if I worked less. And we know it would be easier for me... originally I thought I would need the money of two nights a week. But how many nights have I missed??? And I haven't made any of that time up so clearly I can do without it. I'm sure Vader would appreciate having another night to stay late at work. I need to talk to him tonight but I think I can sell him on it particularly when he realizes how much time I've had to take off since I started back here. It's been A LOT.

I have been helping people all night long. Reading list books. SRP questions. There is a karaoke program going on down the hall. I missed last summer because I was having that baby. So this is the first summer for me of teen programming that I'm not a part of. Feels kind of weird.... and relaxing. :-)

I have a crapload of cleaning to do before our playdate tomorrow. I'm not going crazy though since everything is going to be covered in dust next week anyway. It'll be more of a straightening up than a cleaning. We have to get everything out of the kitchen and living room this weekend. Won't that be fun? I also have to pack for the 3 of us.

Just for fun:

100_3335

100_3336

Holy crapcakes it's busy. I leave you with this-- a little boy who used to come in a long time ago and is a bit off his rocker just told me all about Dale Earnhardt and then asked me how the husband was. I said good. He said "And the kid?" I said, "I have two now." He said "Two? Adoption?" I said no, He said "both born?" (What the hell??) I said "yup." He says "That husband is one lucky sonofagun, If it wasn't for him I would have gotten to you!" and proceeds to tell me how he will strangle god when he "gets up there" because of this. Good times, yo.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

A hodgepodge of numerous things

The hideous wallpaper in the kitchen (if you look closely you can see the blue counters):

Before & After:

100_2590

100_2878

100_2593

100_2879

100_2591

100_2881

100_2592

Even without being painted the walls look so much better without that wallpaper!! I am nowhere near being done in the kitchen though. My goal is to finish that and then have someone else do the rest:

100_2594

100_2596

Who puts wallpaper in the shower? Who DOES that kind of thing??

I had to laugh at how many people suggested yellow for our kitchen... When Vader first laughed at light green he said "Well, it's not as bad as yellow." It's going to be fun in my house when we have to make a decision.

We had lunch at the park again. We're enjoying it so much. SkyWalker doesn't really talk to anyone, but he laughs at the other kids and he's not running away from them. He felt comfortable enough to pull his pants down and pee in front of everyone. Twice. The second time his little train buddy stood right next to him and was fascinated with his progress. They looked like they were standing at urinals... in the middle of the grassy park. Good times. We're getting used to going to the park every week. I don't know what we'll do in the winter... I guess go to the library. ;-)

Speaking of which... I try not to talk too much about work because that's not who I am anymore but this just is so overwhelmingly ridiculous... instead of hiring another children's librarian to help do programs and improve services to the town, the board has decided to pay a "guard" to deal with the teenagers who hang out here after school. I'm assuming that's what his responsibilities are but I'm not sure since there still has been NO memo notifying us of who this person is and why he's here. That's another post. Anyway, the town taxpayers are paying this man (a hall monitor from the school) to sit outside the building and sun himself for a few hours. Is that not a colossal waste of money?? A librarian would be working! I am so glad I am not a taxpayer in this town. This in addition to the unnecessary 9-5 hours on Saturdays in the summer... at a time when taxes are going up and up, gas is going up, everything is going up, to be wasting taxpayer money is just so wrong.

We have another playdate at our house tomorrow. I didn't even attempt to clean today since I know it will all be a mess again. I'll do the guest bathroom tonight or tomorrow morning and try to get the kitchen organized, but with two little tornadoes throwing toys around the living room there was no point in doing anything today!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

I am a mystery

But we all knew that right?

The jedi and I went to the foot doctor yesterday. He could not replicate the pain there (no surprise. I can't either. It just happens). So I had an x-ray done and will go back in 2 weeks and hopefully the x-ray will give us a clue as to what is wrong with my foot. I am at the point that I can deal with being in pain. Most of being a mom is being in a pain in one way or another, but I don't want to find out 2 years from now that I've been walking around with something really wrong and then I have to get my foot replaced with a robotic one. Actually, that would be cool.

We also went to the state park 5 minutes from my house yesterday for a picnic lunch. They are now on summer hours so it cost us $6 to park! I had planned weekly picnics for my meetup, but I canceled half of them. That's a lot to expect people to pay every week, especially with gas being so high. We still have our weekly lunches at the town park (that draws more people anyway).

We picked up my dress from the tailor today. After I paid I noticed a safety pin at the bottom. I said, "What's the safety pin for?" She looked at it. Looked at her paperwork and then started making one excuse after the other.... she forgot to hem the dress! I could have worked with a loose top, but the floor length dress needed to be knee-length!! We went to the library and wasted an hour while she hemmed it and then picked it. She did not get a tip.

Either Bagel is going to love me or The Nice Librarian is going to hate me. It's a good thing there are 5 weeks in July because I need 3 of them off. We're getting the floors refinished the first week so the kids and I will have to stay on LI. The next week my sister is getting married. And then the last week Shinesalot is coming for a visit and staying at my house. I'm just part-time. It doesn't cost anything to have someone else work for me. I still just feel guilty though. I have to remember all the times the part-timers didn't work when I was full-time.

I just had the loveliest conversation with a friend I usually only talk to online. She actually stayed here way past her leaving time. It reminded me how nice it is to talk to a friend (albeit at work) without interruptions. Well, there were interruptions but they were easily resolved and not of the "I need to poop" or "I want to watch Dora" nature.

I've been working on a potty training bookmark for the new parenting section. I'm prettifying it now. Who would have thought a couple of years ago that I would be doing this? I was THE teen librarian for quite a while. It's so funny how things change.

I had more but I lost it. I need a snacky-snack.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Sacrifice

Mothers are no strangers to sacrifice. We sacrifice everyday to make sure our children's needs are met. I have recently switched to whole-grain pasta and bread so the kids and I eat the same things. Sigh. I sacrifice sleep and brain power on a regular basis. Today I sacrificed a box of tissues:

100_3018

100_3019

My house is never clean and straightened up at the same time and this is why. I had the audacity to spend time in the kitchen cleaning today and then to fold laundry. The kids' laundry ironically enough and this is how they repaid me. It was mostly the little one but big brother was only too happy to help.

My kitchen counters are now clean. The floor? Not so much. Those are the fridge letters that the little Princess thought would be really funny thrown around the room.

100_3021

Apparently in my house clean and straightened up are mutually exclusive properties. If I clean something you can bet there are toys all over the place in the living room. If the toys are straightened up you can beg there's piss on the bathroom floor. This also works between the different levels of my house. If the first floor living room is okay, the basement "office" that is quickly becoming a playroom is a mess. If the office is okay the kids' upstairs bedrooms are a mess. My house is proof of entropy. I think. I'm not sure if I remember what entropy means.

I realized today that my children are perfect counterparts. I make a turkey sandwich. SkyWalker removes the turkey and eats the bread. The Princess removes the turkey, eats it, and throws the bread on the floor. Perhaps I should just let them share one sandwich.

I have been attempting to work tonight. I have music CDs I need to buy for the department. I finally got an account to do so... and the vendor sucks ass. The searching is horrible. They don't have anything on my list. I am very discouraged. I'm going to eat some string cheese and try again.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Decisions

We've pretty much decided we're all going to North Carolina at the end of April. I do not want to be left alone for such a long time, particularly since Vader will have gone to Buffalo at least TWICE between now and then, leaving me alone with the kids and the dogs. His trial is in April and I just don't think him being gone so much would be good for the kids. Or for me. So I am picking my anti-traveling ass up and we're going. We'll be driving so we can have our stuff and set our own time table. It'll take 2 days to get there and then another 2 days back, and that will suck, but what are you going to do? I'll need to get off work and that will also suck but I have to keep reminding myself that I am part-time now. If I'm not here I don't get paid so a sub can. I am not full-time. It is not a big deal for me to not be here as long as I give enough notice so someone else can get the hours.

Now I need to decide what to do with the Princess and breastfeeding.... when we take our trip she will be 2 weeks shy of 1 year. I can't even believe that. But anyway, she's been doing 4 feedings a day since she was 4 or 5 months old. I can't remember. Instead of every 4 hours (SkyWalker was always every 3) she is now feeding at 7, 11:30 (because I wake her/make her), 4:30 and bedtime which is usually 7:30. She doesn't take much at 7:30 and I have a feeling that the middle 2 feedings will start to merge... Where was I going with this? Oh, the trip! So who knows how often she will be breastfeeding by then. I'm wondering if I should just plan on switching her to cow's milk earlier than her birthday to make the trip easier? It's not like there's a magic button that says "she is now 12 months and can have cow's milk". 2 weeks will not be the end of the world. You know my problem right? I like following rules. But I've been giving her finger foods much sooner than her pediatrician recommended... It would be so much easier to just feed her in the morning and then at bedtime (which she might actually do more of if she's down to 2 feedings) and then do cow's milk during the day. I managed to keep breastfeeding another 3 months doing that with SkyWalker. I can do it with her too...

I had a bunch more to say but it is now 8 and I am done pumping and need to get back to work. I expect numerous comments telling me what to do by tomorrow. By all 3 of you that read my blog.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Yawn

There is no one in the children's room. Not one single person, since I am now in the office. It is snowing and freezing rain and people are not leaving their houses. The director was here and is driving home and will call us to tell us how the roads are and whether we should close early. Since it is now 7:46 I'm not sure what "early" means. We close at 9. We can't close at 8. So what? 8:30? Half an hour? If that.

The pipes have been replaced. The plumber(s) are almost done--they just have the laundry room to connect and then that's it. Well, except for the huge holes in my walls and ceiling. We took pictures. I'll have to post them later.

The Princess will be 9 months old on Friday. She is standing up holding on to the ottoman and trying to take little baby steps. FSM help me.

Back to the silence of the children's room. Which is actually kind of lovely. ;-)

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

"We makin' friends"

The jedi and I went to a meetup at an indoor play area that we haven't been to since his birthday--with his little best bud who is now a Texan. It was jam-packed with kids. He ran away from me and climbed on things and said "hi" and "peekaboo" to other kids and their moms (!) and smiled at people and had a wonderful time. He didn't play with anyone for real, but he climbed next to kids and didn't let them stop him from doing things. The Princess lured many a mama my way with her amazing beauty. For reals, yo. I know I'm biased, but every single mom was drawn to her and said the same thing "Wow, she's so beautiful." She sat and looked at people and smiled and crawled toward me and was perfectly fine. I made the obligatory small talk and tried to not be myself. On the way home SkyWalker said he had fun and "we makin' friends. I say hi."

I think I've reassessed what I want out of these things. I don't want friends for me. I don't even necessarily want friends for him--not real ones anyway. He'll make his friends once he gets to school. Right now what I want to do is just expose him to a bunch of different kids so that he's comfortable in social settings (unlike his parents). I don't want him to hide--physically or mentally--when he gets in with a group of kids. We're not looking for best friends. I think we're just looking for acquaintances really. We have our weekly playdates with our old friends and that's going well. It doesn't even matter if the boys become friends--each will have a familiar face on that first day of kindergarten.

The Princess is officially crawling. No more belly flopping halfway there... let the games begin! Maybe now Vader will do something about a real gate at the bottom of the stairs. One that SkyWalker can open but the Princess cannot.

It is wicked busy at the library tonight. I got blindsided when Bee went on dinner and now I'm in here pumping. I hope it has slowed down some and she's not overwhelmed. I'm actually been working in addition to the reference! So there, it happens people. Sometimes I work.

LOST starts in one hour. Sigh. I hope the DVR doesn't mess up.

The tap is dry. I'm running out of milk. The Princess is more interested in waffles and peas (what the dilly-o?) and everything but mama. Either that or she is just wicked efficient... which could be the case. She was always quicker. In the beginning she would nurse for 10 minutes but she was awake and actively nursing the entire time. Now she's down to 3-4 minutes. 5 if I'm lucky. I know she's getting something because I can feel it and she's swallowing... but can she really get what she needs in 5 minutes? She hasn't been finishing her bedtime bottle when I'm at work but I've been feeding her more often because she's so quick... so maybe she's just snacking now. Taking 2 or 3 ounces here and there instead of the 5-7 she used to do. She is getting 6 ounces mixed in with her cereal everyday... as much as I love breastfeeding I hate the insecurity and doubt that goes along with it.

SkyWalker came in the bathroom today as I was taking care of some ahem, feminine issues... He looked at the maxipad and said "what that is?" I decided to bombard him with information to make him go away so I started by saying "Well, Mommy has her period..." and I kid you not, his "I'm a male and don't want to hear it DNA" kicked in and he said "Okay" and ran out saying "I'm a piggy bank" and hitting the top of his head like he was putting a penny in it.

And now... back to work.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Tick Tock

This has been the longest Saturday ever. Probably not *ever*, but you know what I mean. If I were home right now I would be saying, "I can't believe it's after 3 already! I have so much more to do!" But alas, I am working and I am saying "I can't believe it's only 3!"

I just love parents who think the library is free daycare. And that I am a secretary who will go looking for a kid... if you're that concerned how about you come to the library with him? Instead of dumping him for HOURS?

Our playdate yesterday went well. We enjoyed ourselves and SkyWalker said he wanted to go back, so that's good. It's funny though, whenever I say "we're going to go play with [whoever it may be]" he says "okay. and littleman?". Sigh.

I've fixed the Princess's sleeping problem (eating at night... not eating during the day... then eating at night), but now she likes to wake up at 5:30, roll over to her tummy and SCREAM until Vader goes upstairs to roll her back over. Once she's rolled over she's usually okay to go back to sleep. I hope she remembers how to roll over to her back soon... she did that first but once she started rolling to her tummy there was no stopping her and she just forgot how to fix herself. Vader has to go up though because if she sees me she'll only want one thing. At least that's what I'm telling him...

We've gotten SkyWalker to say "Bada Bing Bada Boom." It is HILARIOUS.

We are leaving at 7 am on Wednesday morning. I think I might be crazy. But it works better for the kids to travel in the morning. We have 10:30 ferry reservations and hopefully we'll make them. SkyWalker did okay last time, not needing to stop and pee so it should be okay. If it's early enough he hasn't had a full day of drinking...

Pumping break is over... back to "work."

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Sigh

This is my first weekend at work.

Besides the fact that I no longer actually enjoy working or care at all, this is also the first day that I will be away from the Princess for more than a couple of hours. It will be 8 1/2 hours by the time I get home (and she will hopefully be napping when I do get home). I'm not quite sure how I am still breathing.

It did not help that she was up TWICE last night. She's been up since she got her shots. I hope it hasn't turned into a habit. I am *so* tired.

It's only 9:30.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Back in the saddle

I can't believe I'm working.

Well, I'm at work.

Right now I am in the office pumping. I don't know whose computer this is but it is green and freaking my eyes out. I am glad that I don't have to worry about how much I get... I'm really pumping just to keep up my supply since I'm missing a feeding. I don't think my left boob likes the pump. Hmmm. I'm not worrying since I have a huge stockpile.

100_1096

All of those things standing up are bags of my boob milk.

Everything has changed here. It's so weird to be back. It's weird to be part time. I was always on the other side of the fence... now I'm part time and trying to leave all the politics and bullshit behind.

The jedi are doing well. I am tired. The dogs bark too much. So same old same old.

I can hear children crying. But they're not mine so I don't care. Ha!

Next week we start gymnastics and soccer. I hope to get into the storytime here *coughcough* and then I'll have storytime on Tuesdays, Gymnastics on Wednesdays and soccer on Thursdays. It's all at roughly the same time 10-10:30 so hopefully the Princess will get used to being out and just adjust to it. I'll bring the baby bjorn though... she'll sleep in that but may not sleep in the carseat (she wakes up as soon as we stop driving. she's a nosy little thing). Hopefully SkyWalker will make some friends and get enough physical activity to stop climbing on my back. ;-)

Pumping time over. Back to working. 

Read and post comments | Send to a friend