Do over please?

I don't know if there are any men-folk that read this, well, actually, I don't know who reads this anymore! Vox seems to be dying a slow blogging death... But anyway, menfolk, you might want to skip today.

Wednesday morning I woke up with a visit from a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. Roughly 20 months including the 8-9 months of pregnancy I had... I am not amused. I know I had a nice long run and this is the longest I've gone without it, but the timing just sucks. I am hoping against hope that I don't have it for the 5k. Ever since I had SkyWalker this particularly monthly friend has been excruciating. Only for the first day or two, but trust me that's enough. I went to the doc (my first OB) to see if I have endometriosis. She didn't examine me and told me to come bak the next time I was experiencing it. The very next month I got pregnant with the Princess. After having the Princess I had the same problem. I was the Matron of Honor at my sister's wedding and I could barely stand. It goes way beyond your normal cramps and discomfort. It's truly painful. I called them again and this time they just prescribed pain meds over the phone. Helpful. The pain meds make me dizzy so I have to lay down. I am trying to be positive and think that there is no reason to believe that they will be that painful again. That maybe whatever it was got fixed in me this last time I gave birth... since I didn't tear or need stitches and had such an easy recovery. From what I remember the last time it took a month before it started to get bad. So even though I am trying to think positive, my fear is that I will be in crippling pain for the 5k.

I felt okay this morning so instead of waiting until the end of the day to run, I got on the treadmill. I have to say that I am super proud that I even got on the damn thing and that I didn't let my mind pysch me out. My plan was to walk 5 mins, run 9, walk 1, run 9, walk 1, run 9, walk 1, then finish with a cool down walk of 5 mins. I did the warmup walk, the first 9 mins of running (I had to slow my speed and that was okay), and I was a third of the way through the second 9 mins when I the Princess started asking me to go upstairs with her. Yes, the Princess was with me. I told her I couldn't. Then she took off her pants and I saw crap in her butt. I paused the treadmill, jumped off, checked her out (there was nothing in her underwear so she must have just not wiped very well). By the time I got back to the treadmill I realized my nike + was still running because I had forgotten to pause that too, and I had totally lost my resolve. I stood on the treadmill and as I tried to work myself up the treadmill reset itself erasing everything I had done. I could have just started over with my second run, but I just lost the fight. I gave up. 

I'm trying to be happy that I got on there at all. Because it has been a difficult day. Chewie is getting her first tooth and has been crying ALL DAY. She's had a fever for most of the day and is just miserable. She's also coughing a little bit and while the logical mama in me knows it's teething and she's okay, the paranoid mama is wondering if she's getting croup.  She's just so miserable. I've fed her more often and she seems to be taking more frequent, but less long naps. I was hoping to hop on the treadmill again later but I don't think it's happening. My plan is to try again tomorrow and hopefully I'll be able to finish it instead of having to take her to the doctor. 

The Princess has been talking since the minute she got up and most of it is preceded by "Mommy!" so I have to pay attention. She is calling Mommy right now, and Chewie is crying, and I would like to sit on the couch and pretend this day is not happening.

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Randomosity

Teething really needs to be changed. This whole process is just not fun for anyone. Not for baby, and not for mama and DEFINITELY not for breastfeeding mama. All 4 of the Princess's top teeth are swollen and the gums are white and they are just minutes from breaking through but they just aren't breaking through. Gah. She cried and cried as I left for work today, coupled with her brother's crying that he "just want you to stay home." Good times. You scientists really need to come up with a better teething method. Because this one just sucks.

Speaking of sucking, I am barely getting 2 ounces while pumping at work. I counted how much I have left and how many bottles I will need before I make the switch. I have enough to make it, unless there's an emergency. I haven't been pumping in the morning because I have been sleeping and then letting the Princess have both sides. She's actually been more interested in nursing than solids lately. I think it's the teething. Maybe I'll start pumping in the morning again to have a little backup and then stop pumping at work. I've already fed her 3 times today.

We're going to the state museum tomorrow for another meetup. I hope it's fun. I hope SkyWalker is a good boy and has a good time. Want to know how he did at soccer today? So would I. But he did not want to go. He wanted to stay home. I told him if we stayed home I was cleaning the house (i.e. not playing with him) and he said "Okay, let's go to soccer" and we got all ready and we had some extra time so I played trains with him and... he said he didn't want to go, he just wanted to stay home. We'll be missing another one when we're in North Carolina. If we don't go next week this will be a big waste of my money. Which means it will be coming out of his account. I just don't know what his problem is now. Well, I would bet anything it has to do with Daddy working 24/7 and never having two parents in the same room together anymore. If I'm eating dinner with him Daddy is not. If Daddy's there Mommy is not. (Doesn't it sound like we're divorced? We're not. Really.)

At least I got the house somewhat cleaned today.

Our garage door opener has stopped working. It's not the batteries, the chain looks fine. I can't figure it out. I tried to reset it by unplugging it but that didn't do anything. When you press the button it just clicks and the lights come on and it almost sounds like it's trying but it doesn't actually get the door up at all. We probably need a new one. Which will involve me buying one and having it installed unless I rent a husband for the weekend. That would be a good business. Renting husbands. Maybe I can get one to install the baby stair gate I bought in February. By the time that's up the Princess will be having her own children.

FIL will be buried on the 19th. MIL is having some type of service, I don't know exactly what because Vader didn't think to ask for any details. I'm torn. I have nothing to do with my kids. It's been too long since we've seen the friends who watched them for the funeral and I feel bad asking them again when it's been so long. I'm not sure what's going on so I don't know if I can bring the kids. I'm not sure I'd want to anyway. It looks like I will probably just stay home with them. I can't believe we have to go through this all over again.

Prick your finger/it is done/the moon has now eclipsed the sun/the angel has spread its wings/the time has come for bitter things.

I think that's the best Marilyn Manson there is, certainly better than his newest stuff, but maybe even the best of all of it.

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The jedi drive me crazy

It has not been a good week for the jedi.

Monday SkyWalker was a little more whiny than usual. Monday is cleaning day and I barely got anything done. The first time your kid says "I want you to play with me" in a tiny little voice it's sweet and sentimental. The 20000 time he says it when you've been playing with him all day and what you really need to do is clean his piss off of the damn toilet, it's not so sweet and cute anymore. On top of that the Princess napped like crap and was cranky.

Tuesday started out okay. Aside from the Princess vomiting on me at storytime, it went well and one of the clerks (that I don't know) told me they won the award for the best behaved children in the library. We went to Target and SkyWalker screamed "I am a Mr. Pirate!" which was hilarious. But when we got home it was clear that we were entering another non-pooping episode. He didn't poop. The Princess didn't nurse. I fed her at 1:30. At 6 I tried to feed her, she bit me, I yelled, she cried and REFUSED to nurse the rest of the day. She had a bottle this morning and then I finally got her to nurse at 1:40.

Today was HORRIBLE. I tried to be non-emotional about SkyWalker and his poop this time and not sound like I thought it was his fault, but rather that we would work together to help his poop come out. He had bran flakes for breakfast and apple juice. He refused prunes so I spiked his PBJ with them (pureed prunes). I only hope that they are working right now and that he will be okay for soccer tomorrow. Otherwise he will be a big whiny pain in the ass. He cried and screamed over ridiculous things today. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and when the Princess went down for her nap (crying), I told him he had to stay in his room so I could take a shower. He screamed and cried. And fell asleep. And was still asleep 2 hours later when I left for work. They were both asleep. So my last interaction with them was telling them both to just lay down and go to sleep as they cried. Good times.

On the plus side SkyWalker's bed was dry last night (he's been wearing underwear the last 3 nights).

I always feel weird complaining here. Like I don't have the right... because I wanted to be home, I wanted to stay with my kids. But even if you love every second of your job you can still look forward to the weekends right? I'm still where I want to be. Some days are just harder than others.

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Court

I just got back (a little while ago) from my court date for that speeding ticket I got back in October. I walk into the village court and ... it's a hallway. It was so funny. I met with the police officer who asked me if I was hoping for a reduction (um, yeah) and he immediately changed it to a parking ticket. No points on my license. No insurance problems. No surcharge. Just a $75 fine. Oh yeah. I'm glad that's over with! 

I even managed to get home in time for bedtime, albeit too late to feed the Princess. Not that it would matter since she's not eating for more than 3-4 minutes now. As it was she only took 2 1/2 ounces. She is eating a lot of solids, but not more than she was before... I think it's just her teeth that are bothering her. The first popped through a couple of weeks ago and now the second is ready to break. Sigh.

Her new car seat came today. She hasn't outgrown the infant seat yet, but she's pretty damn close. And getting really hard to carry around. It's not like she stays asleep in the carrier, but it'll still be a pain in the neck to not have it. I can leave her in the carrier on the floor and walk away for a minute. Can't really do that without a carrier. 

I should probably head to bed early. I'm pretty sure we will be up again tonight. For the teething baby? No. For the peeing preschooler. We put his singing potty in his room but I doubt he'll use it tonight. We've been going up there right before we go to bed and having him pee, but all that's done is changed his wake up time from 1:30 to 4 am! And that's much worse. And even when he does pee, sometimes more than once, his diaper is always still wet. I can understand having a small bladder but he's not drinking in his room. How much can he really need to pee? Which of course makes me think there's something wrong with him. My brother had to have his pee-pee hole stretched because he could never get it all out at once... but SkyWalker had surgery on his. I would think they would have made the right size hole. Of course then I wonder if something has gone wrong with his surgery... but most likely he just has a small bladder like his father who gets up every single night to pee. 

And with that, I am going to go pee. 

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