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So far so good

SkyWalker had his "first" day of preschool on Monday. The Princess and I were right down the hall, but I didn't tell him that. He was only there for an hour but he did pretty good. He talked to his teacher and did what he was supposed to do and told my mom that he made friends with a couple of kids. Vader just left to take him for his first official day. 

They scheduled the Princess's surgery for noon. We have to be there at 10:30. This pretty much sucks, BUT it's going much better than I thought it would. I went upstairs at 11:30 last night with a cup of yogurt and some milk. She had just a little milk but she ate most of the yogurt, proving once again that she is her father's daughter and can eat at anytime, anywhere. She smiled and talked and kept looking at me like "Is this for real?". I hope tonight I don't hear "Where's my yogurt woman?" through the monitor. She woke up slightly before 7, I changed her diaper and acted like it was the middle of the night. I put her back down and she went back to sleep. Or at least stayed quiet enough that I could eat and shower. She woke up again at 8:30 and I gave her the water she was allowed to have. We are downstairs in the office now and she is trying to ride a bike AND play the ukuele at the same time. So far she doesn't seem to have realized that we have not eaten. We still have a little less than an hour to go before we have to leave though. I think once she's in the car she will be okay and then she will be distracted in the hospital. I am so glad I gave her that yogurt. 

By the end of today, in the last 4 years I will have had to be in the waiting room 3 times as my children went through surgery. I think that's more than my fair share, don't you? Funnily enough I've also had to go through 3 dog surgeries--all for Mr. problem dog Isaac. I would like to be done with surgeries now. 

I need to somehow pack some snacks for myself and a sippy cup for the Princess without her seeing. I cannot believe how calm and good she is being, but I'm sure that will change if she sees some food. 

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Sigh

We had our playdate at the preschool today. Vader stayed home with the Princess so I could concentrate on SkyWalker. That had been our plan when we thought she was going to be recovering from surgery and we decided to just stick with it. Half of the class met first and then the other half met. It will be the same on Monday, so he won't see the entire class until Wednesday. There were about 10 kids there including him. I would say 9 of them were sitting at the tables, next to each other, drawing with markers or playing with playdough. Guess who wasn't? Guess who was in a corner playing with trucks by himself? When the playdate was over all the kids had to sit on the blue line on the rug. 9 of them did. Guess who didn't want to? The teacher saw and took pity and announced that parents could sit too and then he did. He refused to talk to her, refused to answer any questions. Refused to play with anyone. 

I know that it will get better. When we did our first playdate with our meetup group he hid in the bathroom. And now he asks to go to people's houses, he plays with other kids and tells me he loves them, he talks to other moms and tells me to go away. So I know that he will settle in and be comfortable. It was only a 45 minute playdate. Maybe it wasn't long enough for him to get comfortable. I know it's only a matter of time before he's making friends. 

That doesn't mean it doesn't suck watching it. I'm stuck wondering why he's like this and none of the other kids seem to be. Why he's so shy. What did I do wrong? Is it just nature? During his 8 months in the womb, did he somehow sense my inner distrust of people?

Monday will be an hour and 15 minutes with me down the hall in an orientation. The first day that he is left there by himself will be Wednesday. The very same Wednesday that my baby will be going under anesthesia and having surgery. Possibly at the same time. Yeah, that will be fun.

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Pee

Yes, I know. I usually talk about poop. But sometimes pee is blog worthy too.

Twice this week I have put the Princess on the potty and she has peed. SkyWalker and I clap and dance and sing and she claps and it is funny.

Twice in the last week SkyWalker has NOT peed his bed. Yay for progress, however slow it is.

I stepped out of the shower and SkyWalker ran behind me, slapped my butt, sang a "hairy heiney" song and then asked where my balls were. I said I don't have them. He said rather dismissively, "Well, what DO you have?" and I told him what I have and what the mens have. He then chased me as I tried to get my underwear on and sang "Where are you heiney?"

This, however, is the kicker. It happened at least a week ago but it was too traumatic for me to blog or even tell anyone about it.

Brace yourselves.

I was sitting on the potty, peeing, when SkyWalker came in and announced he wanted to pee on my pee. Sure, fine, whatever. Before I had a chance to get up, he aimed his little wee-wee for the gap between my rear and the toilet and peed. He did have very good aim.

He peed on me.

An almost 4-year old peeing on you is much different than a newborn.

I don't think I'll ever be the same.

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It's 8 pm

Do you know where your children are? Mine are in bed, having just cried themselves to sleep. I'm not sure quite sure I've ever had a night when they BOTH screamed in protest. At least not like this. 

We spent the day screaming at each other until finally I announced we were leaving the house. I wanted to go to Target. SkyWalker wanted to go to people's houses. We compromised and went to the library instead. The library was just what we needed. SkyWalker made a friend at the train table, telling me to go away so he could talk in private. It was reassuring and funny and right on time since he starts preschool next week. I think he'll be just fine. 

We got home with Burger King in hand and turned a bad day into a good one. We brushed our teeth and SkyWalker yelled out the window "Where are you boy?" looking for his library friend. We read books and cuddled/wrestled a little. 

And then it all went to shit. 

The Princess pointed downstairs and SCREAMED when I put her in the crib and walked away. She screamed and screamed despite having her pacifier. Her brother claimed he wanted a bath--after refusing 40 minutes earlier--and SCREAMED when I said no, it was too late. He screamed when I had to sit on his head to get his underwear on. I gave up and didn't even attempt the pajamas, just walking out of the room and telling him not to pee his bed. He screamed that he wanted me to put his pajamas on, as his sister was screaming in her crib. He screamed when I put his pajamas on and told him enough was enough. I walked down the stairs and got the laptop and less than 5 minutes later there is no screaming. 

Oh yes. And my iPod died.

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So annoyed

This was supposed to be a nice post about the Princess sitting on the potty and peeing intentionally but instead I'm ready to scream. 

The surgeon just called. Her deflux procedure has been cancelled tomorrow. They need a special scope. Which is broken. I could choose to do it next week or next month. Argh. Of course next Wednesday is the ONLY Wednesday in  September I was scheduled to work, presumedly because the other person couldn't do it. And next Wednesday is SkyWalker's first full day at preschool. We're doing it because I don't want to wait another month but even waiting another week is really pissing me off. I was all ready to do this tomorrow and now we have to wait even longer!

I think I'm going to scream now.

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Perception

I can't seem to find my baby. Somehow between last week and today she has disappeared. And in her place is a little girl. She walks everywhere she can. She shakes her head no when she doesn't want something. She's starting to use some signs (she asked for more milk today). She helped Mommy unload the dishwasher--handed me each plate and bowl one by one. Last night while making dinner I got a colander from the cupboard.... she then opened up the cupboard, got another one and handed it to me. She hasn't used a sippy cup since yesterday. Instead she's drinking out of a big girl cup (that just the day before was a big boy cup). She seems to have grown overnight. 

And if she's not a baby anymore... then what does that make SkyWalker? The past few days he's been Daddy's big helper. Making trips to Home Depot and patching the driveway. He tells me he's "working" and to stay inside and take care of the Princess. Today he told me to stay inside and that HE would take care of the Princess and she would take care of him. He's growing like a weed. Talking like a grown up. How could 4 years have gone by so quickly? One week from today he will be in preschool. Two weeks and he will be 4 years old. One year from today and he will be getting ready for kindergarten. 

I heard the funniest thing the other day. K, my neighbor, is a wee bit um, terrified of having her third. She's going to be just fine and if you're not terrified then you'd have to be a little crazy. Anyway, she said something about me always making her feel better because I "have it all together" or some such nonsense. Isn't it funny how people can think you're has it together girl when you don't? Or is it the other way around? Maybe you feel like you're floundering when really you do have it together? It's funny how people's perceptions of you can be so different from the way you see yourself. And who's to say which is the right one?

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