Brain cells

I used to be so smart. Really. I did good on my SATs. Went to college in the honors program. Always did well playing Jeopardy.

And then.

Well, and then I had children.

And now I wear slip on shoes because I don't think I could handle shoe laces.

Need more evidence?

On Thursday night, after wrapping up an exciting evening of playing Word Challenge, I closed the web browser at work and saw a pop-up that said this: "Your System Administrator has determined that your current activity is providing a level of enjoyment beyond that which is allowed on company time. Your enjoyment will now be disabled. You may continue with this activity but you may not enjoy it. See your system administrator for more details." And then buttons that said "Ok" "Sorry" "Dock my Pay".

I instantly thought that my system administrator was screwing with me from home, since part of the night I had been chatting with her online. I logged off the computer when I couldn't get it to go away.

When I turned the computer on this morning I was surprised to see it still there. Since I was once again chatting with my system administrator online, I asked her about it. She had me run ad-aware and we looked into it and then I got busy. I decided to just run some spyware stuff because I just couldn't get rid of this pop-up.

And then. I realized.

It wasn't a pop-up.

It was the desktop picture that one of my co-workers had chosen.

This is almost as funny as the time I was hooking up my cable box in the bedroom because the floors in the living room were being done and I couldn't get anything to work and called up and then realized that I had hooked one cable box to the other cable box instead of to the signal from the wall.

I used to be so smart.

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I need a synonym for progress

Joy! 

The Princess and I dropped SkyWalker off at preschool this morning and he was the first one in the room and barely looked back. He wanted to show the teacher the alligator he made at the library storytime yesterday. I don't know if that was it or if something just clicked with him, but whatever it was, he was happy and fine. He asked me to sing our goodbye song* but that was it. I got out in 5 minutes instead of 10. It was amazing. He claims he pooped there on Monday and since he was chock full of laxatives and suppositories I think I believe him. Maybe he just needed to poop there to find his comfort zone. 

The Princess and I went to Wal-Mart where I found a black long-sleeve onesie ("creeper") for her for Halloween instead of having to buy it online. There was a time when you couldn't find black clothes for kids. I'm glad I don't live in that time. And I found washable dry erase markers that will hopefully save her sheets and clothes from any more permanent damage. At Target I got an umbrella stroller with a canopy. Score!

She was happy in storytime, although still not as enthusiastic as I thought she would be. She smiles a lot and enjoys it but I really thought she would be up dancing the whole time. She's pretty tired by the time we get there though. I don't know what I can do though. If I took her home for a nap she'd get less than an hour--assuming that she fell asleep the minute we got home. Which she wouldn't because she's not tired at 9:30. If gas wasn't so damn expensive I would drive around and let her fall asleep in the car before storytime. BUT, I am happy to say that she is sleeping now and I had no problems getting her down for a nap today. Is it possible that we've found our rhythm? 

We picked up SkyWalker and I had to pee like a racehorse so we used the potty. I made him pee like I always do before we get in the car and he surprised me by pooping there. JOY. (for reals) He's watching Hard Hat Harry right now instead of napping but I don't think the napping thing is working so I don't care. 

It's so nice when things just work out.

In the funny files, this was our one-sided lunch conversation:

"When my room is dark and downstairs is dark I'm scared but in the morning when I'm in my room and downstairs I be fine but when it's dark in my room I'm scared but I'm okay. Was I a little boy when we went to North Carolina? A long time ago when I was a little little boy I pooped in my diaper at night and peed in it and it didn't get in the bed and that's why I love you."

There was even more but sadly I can't remember it all. I wish I had surveillance cameras on him because he is hilarious. And then I would have seen him cutting his sister's hair the other morning. He only did the back and top and it's not even noticeable. But I'd love to know if she just sat there for him. He was in her crib in the morning and used baby nail scissors so it's not as bad as it could have been. He said that her hair looked funny and he thought she should have hair like him. He's right, it does look funny, but I don't think she needs his cut. 

*(To the tune of Frere Jacques)

Mommy loves you.

Mommy loves you.

Yes I do.

Yes I do.

There's no need to cry now.

There's no need to cry now.

I'll be back.

I'll be back.

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Poop! On the Potty!

SkyWalker seems to be back to "normal" and has pooped a few times without me forcing him to try. Yay. 

This post is not about him. 

After letting the Princess cry and cry, I finally went upstairs expecting to see a poopy diaper as the cause of her sudden wake-up and refusal to go back to napping. There was none. I put her on the potty just for the hell of it, read her a book, asked her if she was going to pee and then... and then.... I saw the face. She pooped (and peed) on the potty! SkyWalker and I clapped and screamed and the Princess clapped and seemed to be more interested in her brother's reaction than mine. If only she would tell me when she has to go, we'd be on our way to potty training!

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Bull. Shit.

Vader took SkyWalker to preschool this morning* and when I called later to see how he did at drop-off, Vader said he was absolutely fine. Not sure if our definitions of fine were the same I asked if he clung to him and asked him not to go and had to pulled off by the teacher. Nope. He sat at the table to do his name like he's supposed to, gave Vader a high five and knuckles and that was it. 

WTH?

Am I just a patsy? It's not like I stick around when he does this. Why does he do this to *me*?? 

Of course he also napped this weekend. When his father put him down and flipped his magic switch. It was either because it was Daddy or because when he's holding in his poop he just wants to lay down. It's easy to hold it in when you're laying down. He is upstairs right now doing everything but napping. He also pooped 3 times today...

Last night I got together with my new friends for board game night. Yes, I am that lame. Instead of boozing it up, I set up board game nights. Aside from the absence of a couple of people who should have been there (*points fingers*), it was great. I hope we can make it a regular thing. 

Vader took the fridge from the garage to the dump on Saturday. He had to use his mother's truck, so SkyWalker couldn't go with him. I explained that we couldn't put a carseat in the truck so that's why he couldn't go. Then I asked if he remembered Daddy's truck and told him that's why we sold it and bought the van. He asked how we got to Japan to buy the van (apparently he knows it was made in Japan). I laughed and said we didn't, they made it in Japan and sent to a car store here. He said "but how did we get it out of the box?". It was hilarious. 

*I slept like crap and had a headache and woke up with a wee bit of diarrhea and dizziness. Vader offered, yes, offered, to take SkyWalker to preschool and I thought that was a fantastic idea. 

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Really? Again?

SkyWalker is holding in his poop again. For the 3rd time in as many weeks. I have spiked his peanut butter and jelly with pureed prunes. I have spiked his grape juice with liquid laxative. I have given him a suppository. He pooped a little bit after that, but not 3 days worth, and he's "leaking" again so it looks like he's right back to where he started. I need to find something that will work immediately, regardless of whether he wants it to or not, so that on that very first day that he doesn't poop I can get it out of him. He needs to go every single day, and all it takes is him holding it in ONCE, to screw everything up and get him caught in a vicious cycle. 

I think I might scream now.

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Naps

This preschool thing is killing me. 

I made lunch last night, we ate as soon as we got home, the Princess pooped, and then she went to nap. There is no reason why she should be screaming her head off just an hour later. This. Sucks. 

In addition to that, Vader thinks that if SkyWalker napped during the day he would sleep less deeply at night and then wake himself up when he needed to pee. I think he is wrong. Not only because I think SkyWalker is peeing when he is awake, but also because it's not like I can just flip a switch and make him nap. He's up in his bed right now crying and saying Mommy over and over again. (I put him up there after the Princess started her crying so he's not the one who woke her up.)

Rather than let me blather on about the screaming and crying in my house right now, please enjoy the following videos. They are too long, but I have adorable kids. 

Chairdancing

Shoes

And finally, for once, SkyWalker enjoys Happy Birthday!

Birthdaysong

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Weather

My son has never watched the Teletubbies. I forbid it. Forbid. 

But the little sonofabitch is so friggin good with the computer and the internets (big surprise) that he has found a teletubbie game on pbs kids and I am hearing "eh-oh!" "bye-bye" over and over and OVER again. Whose idea was it to let him have his own computer? 

We had a fantabulous playdate this morning. Fantabulous because it wasn't at my house so I didn't have to go crazy yesterday trying to straighten up and I'm not going crazy now doing dishes and washing tablecloths. Fantabulous because I was surrounded by friends and we sat and snacked and talked and gossiped and our children all played nicely. We even had the kids eat by themselves in the dining room as we ate in the kitchen (within viewing distance for possible choking). And they all did SO WELL. There was no chaos, no crazy. It was a beautiful morning and just what I needed to get out of my fall weather funk. 

I do not like the fall. I like that we have one. I like that our seasons change. And I will begin to like fall, but right now, in the beginning I just get sad. There's so much to DO in the summer. Swimming, playing outside. The fall is, eh. I don't like being chilly. I don't like having to put jackets and coats on my kids to go outside. I don't like the way it messes up the carseats being so bulky. *I* don't like being chilly. I'd rather lay on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and read a book for the next 9-10 months. I just don't want to DO anything. I suppose once we go apple picking and trick or treating and I figure out how I can make my kids tired without making me chilly, it will be okay. And then it'll be winter. And I REALLY don't like the winter. 

There are things I keep meaning to blog about. Like how I haven't worn a watch since July. But the Princess is claiming that she doesn't need a nap right now. I think it will be an early bedtime, which is just fine since I am not working tonight and I have TV to watch!

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