It's been a week and you're all clamoring for reports of how school went.
SkyWalker surprised me with quiet tears on Tuesday morning. He couldn't even look at us when the bus passed by, deciding instead to hide his face in his sweatshirt. By Tuesday afternoon he came off the bus with a smile and he's been fine ever since. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to school, but just that he didn't want to leave us. I guess next summer shouldn't be the Summer of Fun, but instead the Summer of Mostly Fun with Some Boredom and Yelling Thrown in So You Miss School.
The Princess, however, surprised me the most. At the playdate she was wrapped around me and didn't talk to any kids and wanted to go home early and I thought I was going to be in for it when it came time for me to actually leave her at preschool. I anticipated a repeat of what happened with SkyWalker and preschool. But, once again, she proved that she's her own self. She wanted me to help her sit at the playdoh table and then she said "if you need to go to the library, I'll let you." And that was that. No crying, no drama. She's been fine each day, talking to her teachers and to some of the kids. She's not so good with remembering names but she's only 3. When Chewie and I pick her up she's on the playground right there with the kids, not off by herself, not running away. She may not be actively playing with them yet, but she's there with them. Which is more than she would ever do before. So that's been one giant big relief.
Chewie and I went to the library and danced. We went food shopping yesterday (!). We decided we would do the shopping so that Daddy could be home Monday nights and Mommy doesn't have to go crazy. Guess what? Daddy worked until 10:30 Monday and Tuesday nights! And he'll do the same on Thursday (Wednesday is Parent's Night at school) and he's going in to work on Sunday too. I won't be getting my outside run. Again. Guess who's kicking myself in the arse for doing the shopping now?
Tomorrow Chewie and I will get new tires put on the van. Joy. I have hope that we will eventually have fun during our one-on-one time.
I will say this--preschool is much easier this time around. I don't have my head in the toilet all morning before we go. Much easier to get ready on time.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
First day of school Eve
Tomorrow is the first day of 1st grade for SkyWalker and preschool for the Princess. When I said I would miss him, SkyWalker said: "I know, but I always come home at 3." Then he said "When the Princess is in preschool, don't cry. Try to just have fun with Chewie."
At bedtime he said he was going to miss me and that he just wishes he could stay home all the time. I said "Nah, we would just fight all day." He said "Did we fight today?" I said, "No, not too bad." He said, "yeah, the other days were badder. I was trying today." I guess trying not to fight. We've actually only had a few really bad days. The vast majority of the summer was really really good. And even with those few bad days, and even though I know we're ready for a break right now, I'm still going to miss him. He's really, just, I don't know, something else.
At bedtime he said he was going to miss me and that he just wishes he could stay home all the time. I said "Nah, we would just fight all day." He said "Did we fight today?" I said, "No, not too bad." He said, "yeah, the other days were badder. I was trying today." I guess trying not to fight. We've actually only had a few really bad days. The vast majority of the summer was really really good. And even with those few bad days, and even though I know we're ready for a break right now, I'm still going to miss him. He's really, just, I don't know, something else.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Transitions
Last week I was not ready for school to begin. I was not ready for the end of summer, of our summer fun, of the routine we had established. I'm still not ready for the end of summer. I know lots of people are doing cartwheels because today was in the low 70s and a "fall day" but I think I should have taken an extra Vitamin D. I don't embrace the fall like others do. I tolerate it because it's not winter, but summer has always been my favorite. I need to feel the sun, to see it, to soak it in. This is the first summer that I actually have a tan, not because I was laying on the beach and tanning myself, but because we were out and about. Sure, I used sunscreen and I don't want to get skin cancer but I am proud of my tan. It is proof that I was outside more than I was inside. That I did what I set out to do. I am happy that I had a good summer and I'm still not ready for summer to end.
But. I think I am ready for school to begin. Vader left on Friday for a wedding in California. I couldn't believe what rotten timing it was--he's not getting back until wicked late Monday night. School starts wicked early Tuesday morning. But maybe, just maybe, it has worked out the way it needed to be. Because after all of this time without Vader, all of this time with just us, I think I am ready for SkyWalker to go back to school and he may be ready to go back too. We've had lots of fun moments--I took them all to a local county fair yesterday--but there have been a lot of arguments and fighting and raised voices. I think we're ready for a break from each other and we really weren't ready for it last week. It's somewhat hard for me to think let alone say. I was that mom who when sick would keep her son home from daycare, instead of leaving him at daycare so I could rest. I couldn't bear the thought of him being somewhere else if I wasn't at work. It wasn't until I was on work bedrest with the Princess that I ever left him in daycare when I was at home. So it's hard for me to say--even though lots of others have said it--that it's time for him to go. Now, I know I'm only sending him to first grade, not to the Hunger Games, but still.
The Princess has been less of a problem. I think her recent tantrums are actually a product of the stress between SkyWalker and me, and knowing that she's going to be starting preschool on Tuesday. She talks about it and knows that I am dropping her off and leaving and she smiles and proudly says "There's my preschool" when we drive by. But when we went to the playdate there on Wednesday she was quiet and shy and withdrawn. It was frustrating when SkyWalker did it because I hadn't experienced it yet. It's just sad when I see it in the Princess because I know what's she's capable of. I see her play with her brother, I see her lively and vivacious and animated. And when he's not with her she is just not herself. I'm glad that she draws strength from him, but it makes me so sad too that she doesn't get that strength from herself. I know that the first couple of months of preschool will be hard. I know right now that she will cry when I leave and that I will have to just keep leaving. But I hope that since I am starting her at 3, that she will open up quicker than her brother did when I started him at 4. He was fine going to kindergarten and he's a completely different kid now. I know it will all be worth it in the end.
The only one who hasn't been giving me trouble is the one I call trouble maker. Chewie had been cranky and frustrated. She screamed at me whenever she wanted anything. The last time we were at the library I opened up a parenting book on babies and talking and flipped to the 15 month old page. I almost took it home but then decided that I didn't need to read a book telling me that my baby was already failing because she wasn't doing ANYTHING she was supposed to be doing. And then just in the last week--the hardest week with the older 2--she has found her groove. She's walking a lot. She's laughing a lot. She's babbling and making sounds. She's not saying recognizable words or trying to repeat anything, but she's making sounds that sound like words. She said Mama and Dada and Nana a while ago, but she would never repeat anything and she wouldn't really use them appropriately. She seems so much happier this week and is much more talkative and much less screaming. Although she does shriek with glee which is almost as bad. I think she will benefit from having some one on one time with Mama.
I have not run outside since the last race. I've run on the treadmill, but it's just not the same. I should actually be running today, but my ankle is a bit sore and I'm just not in the mood for another treadmill run. I ran 5.5 miles last week and the treadmill told me it was 4 something. I know that the Nike+ is not the most accurate and that it will measure somewhat differently on the treadmill than on the road. But that's a big difference. And I FEEL the difference too. I was running at 5.0 which should have been a 12 minute pace. Slow. And it did not feel slow. I'm going to Fleet Feet on Friday to have my running analyzed so I can get a recommendation for the right sneaker. I'm looking forward to running on the treadmill there and comparing it with my Nike+. I want to see how it feels too, to see if my suspicions are confirmed or not. I am secretly terrified that it will feel exactly the same and that my treadmill is accurate and my Nike+ is not and that I haven't been running as much and I'm just a big fraud. I try to always do my long runs outside where I know that it's accurate, but that requires a present husband. If the treadmill at Fleet Feet feels differently I'm going to have to call the treadmill company and see what's going on. I finally found the manual and the lube, so maybe I just have to do some maintenance on it. Or maybe the craft paint the children spilled on it has screwed it up somehow.
It feels somewhat odd blogging like this here at blogger. I've been with blogger since Jan of 2004, but never personally. I always liked the ease with which I could check out the neighborhood on vox. It's not quite the same when you're reading it through google reader. But, I have to say, I'm liking that the feedjit widget is working. I've always had that on my book blog, but it never worked in vox. Now I can see where all you people are coming from. So who the hell is reading me from Kings Park?? And all of you people keep coming back but I only have one follower??! (Thanks Gina!)
The dogs are doing their nightly "Why isn't Daddy home yet?" barking. 26 more hours.
But. I think I am ready for school to begin. Vader left on Friday for a wedding in California. I couldn't believe what rotten timing it was--he's not getting back until wicked late Monday night. School starts wicked early Tuesday morning. But maybe, just maybe, it has worked out the way it needed to be. Because after all of this time without Vader, all of this time with just us, I think I am ready for SkyWalker to go back to school and he may be ready to go back too. We've had lots of fun moments--I took them all to a local county fair yesterday--but there have been a lot of arguments and fighting and raised voices. I think we're ready for a break from each other and we really weren't ready for it last week. It's somewhat hard for me to think let alone say. I was that mom who when sick would keep her son home from daycare, instead of leaving him at daycare so I could rest. I couldn't bear the thought of him being somewhere else if I wasn't at work. It wasn't until I was on work bedrest with the Princess that I ever left him in daycare when I was at home. So it's hard for me to say--even though lots of others have said it--that it's time for him to go. Now, I know I'm only sending him to first grade, not to the Hunger Games, but still.
The Princess has been less of a problem. I think her recent tantrums are actually a product of the stress between SkyWalker and me, and knowing that she's going to be starting preschool on Tuesday. She talks about it and knows that I am dropping her off and leaving and she smiles and proudly says "There's my preschool" when we drive by. But when we went to the playdate there on Wednesday she was quiet and shy and withdrawn. It was frustrating when SkyWalker did it because I hadn't experienced it yet. It's just sad when I see it in the Princess because I know what's she's capable of. I see her play with her brother, I see her lively and vivacious and animated. And when he's not with her she is just not herself. I'm glad that she draws strength from him, but it makes me so sad too that she doesn't get that strength from herself. I know that the first couple of months of preschool will be hard. I know right now that she will cry when I leave and that I will have to just keep leaving. But I hope that since I am starting her at 3, that she will open up quicker than her brother did when I started him at 4. He was fine going to kindergarten and he's a completely different kid now. I know it will all be worth it in the end.
The only one who hasn't been giving me trouble is the one I call trouble maker. Chewie had been cranky and frustrated. She screamed at me whenever she wanted anything. The last time we were at the library I opened up a parenting book on babies and talking and flipped to the 15 month old page. I almost took it home but then decided that I didn't need to read a book telling me that my baby was already failing because she wasn't doing ANYTHING she was supposed to be doing. And then just in the last week--the hardest week with the older 2--she has found her groove. She's walking a lot. She's laughing a lot. She's babbling and making sounds. She's not saying recognizable words or trying to repeat anything, but she's making sounds that sound like words. She said Mama and Dada and Nana a while ago, but she would never repeat anything and she wouldn't really use them appropriately. She seems so much happier this week and is much more talkative and much less screaming. Although she does shriek with glee which is almost as bad. I think she will benefit from having some one on one time with Mama.
I have not run outside since the last race. I've run on the treadmill, but it's just not the same. I should actually be running today, but my ankle is a bit sore and I'm just not in the mood for another treadmill run. I ran 5.5 miles last week and the treadmill told me it was 4 something. I know that the Nike+ is not the most accurate and that it will measure somewhat differently on the treadmill than on the road. But that's a big difference. And I FEEL the difference too. I was running at 5.0 which should have been a 12 minute pace. Slow. And it did not feel slow. I'm going to Fleet Feet on Friday to have my running analyzed so I can get a recommendation for the right sneaker. I'm looking forward to running on the treadmill there and comparing it with my Nike+. I want to see how it feels too, to see if my suspicions are confirmed or not. I am secretly terrified that it will feel exactly the same and that my treadmill is accurate and my Nike+ is not and that I haven't been running as much and I'm just a big fraud. I try to always do my long runs outside where I know that it's accurate, but that requires a present husband. If the treadmill at Fleet Feet feels differently I'm going to have to call the treadmill company and see what's going on. I finally found the manual and the lube, so maybe I just have to do some maintenance on it. Or maybe the craft paint the children spilled on it has screwed it up somehow.
It feels somewhat odd blogging like this here at blogger. I've been with blogger since Jan of 2004, but never personally. I always liked the ease with which I could check out the neighborhood on vox. It's not quite the same when you're reading it through google reader. But, I have to say, I'm liking that the feedjit widget is working. I've always had that on my book blog, but it never worked in vox. Now I can see where all you people are coming from. So who the hell is reading me from Kings Park?? And all of you people keep coming back but I only have one follower??! (Thanks Gina!)
The dogs are doing their nightly "Why isn't Daddy home yet?" barking. 26 more hours.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Vox to Blogger
In case anyone is interested in how I got from Vox to Blogger...
Vow lets you export your blog to Wordpress (after you sign up for a wordpress account). From Wordpress you can export your old Vox blog as an xml file. Theoretically you should be able to import the xml file into Blogger directly but I kept getting a "This didn't work" message. Yeah, that's pretty much all it said. So then I used a Wordpress to Blogger converter. But the file that it saved on my hard drive had an unneccesary .html that screwed things up. So I deleted the .html so that the file now simply said .xml And voila, I was able to import that into blogger. It copied everything, including pictures that were supposed to be private. Oh well. But I didn't lose anything.
Vow lets you export your blog to Wordpress (after you sign up for a wordpress account). From Wordpress you can export your old Vox blog as an xml file. Theoretically you should be able to import the xml file into Blogger directly but I kept getting a "This didn't work" message. Yeah, that's pretty much all it said. So then I used a Wordpress to Blogger converter. But the file that it saved on my hard drive had an unneccesary .html that screwed things up. So I deleted the .html so that the file now simply said .xml And voila, I was able to import that into blogger. It copied everything, including pictures that were supposed to be private. Oh well. But I didn't lose anything.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Second 5K wrap-up
Today two of my strong running mama friends and I ran a 5K in my neighborhood. It started and finished at SkyWalker's elementary school. I had been hoping to finish in less than 30 minutes, but my primary goals were to run the whole way, not pee my pants, and to do better than I did in my last race. I did not finish in under 30 minutes. But I ran the whole way, I stayed dry, and I did better than my last race. I think the last one was 33:18 and this time I came in at 30:52. There weren't many people running so it was easy to start running right away. Too easy. I started out way too fast and then couldn't keep it up. A few times I wanted to just stop altogether, but I didn't, and I think I'm happier about that than I am about not finishing in under 30. I came close anyway. And I had been under the impression that my Nike+ needed calibrating again since it told me I ran 4.9 miles last Sunday and I was sure I had only done 4.5. But it was exactly what it should have been, which means I ran 4.9 miles on Sunday! That's only a mile and change away from a 10K.
I'm pleased with the results even though I really wanted to do less than 30 minutes. My friends totally smoked me and finished in 27/28 minutes!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
So what about...?
The Princess:
When I was 20 weeks pregnant with the Princess I had an ultrasound to see if there was anything wrong with the placenta because of the partial abruption I had with SkyWalker. The placenta was fine, but they saw dilation (backed up fluid) in the right kidney. That was roughly 3 1/2 years ago and we have been dealing with it ever since. She's been on antibiotics every day since the day she was born. She was taken off after her first surgery but developed reflux and got a UTI within just 2-3 months and put back on them.
Today was her latest ultrasound. There's still some dilation around the ureter they fixed, but it looks exactly the same as it did 6 months ago. Not better, but also not worse. We finally heard the words we've been waiting to hear--she can go off the medication. We'll have to be super vigilant about preventing UTIs from all the other ways little girls get them--holding in pee too long, not wiping correctly, etc. I am sure I will be more paranoid than ever now. I think I'll probably get those at home UTI test kits so I don't have to drag her to the doctor every time I panic. She'll have yearly ultrasounds to make sure that nothing is changing but other than that she should be okay.
*************
SkyWalker:
We had some bad days and got into some serious altercations, but for the most part it's been great having SkyWalker home. I almost don't want him to go back to school. Our problems always stem from the same thing--he makes some kind of mess or does some crazy thing and then when I tell him it's time to stop he refuses to listen and is disrespectful and rude and doesn't take me seriously. Until I explode and then he's hysterical. How quickly it takes me to explode seems to vary a lot lately. We've been doing pretty well recently. And when I put things in perspective, we only have these blowups at home, never in public. When we are out he is always very well behaved. He's a great big brother. How many almost 6 year olds do you know who willingly take their 3 year old sisters outside and push them on a swing? With a smile? He's always coming and getting Chewie out of the dishwasher and taking her to her toys and distracting her so she'll stop crying. He loves his sisters and I know I can always trust him with them.
He has huge tonsils and probably huge adenoids and will see an ENT in September who will probably recommend surgery. This will royally suck since as we all know surgery sucks, but more so because he will be a big baby about the recovery. And this is the first time I have a kid having surgery who can actually say the words "I don't want surgery." So that's fun.
*************
Chewie:
She walks. I fought it, but she walks. She doesn't run and she still crawls more than walks, but she is putting one foot in front of the other on a regular basis. She also screams. She makes sounds and can say Mama and Dada and Nana and bababababababa. But for the most part her preferred method of communication is "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" very loudly. She can hear, she copies her brother's humming and singing, and she sometimes follows directions. She is just LOUD. Perhaps when she has me all to herself she will find her inside voice. It must be inside of her somewhere.
*************
Running:
I had to cut down to 3 times a week, which is the funniest thing I think I've ever written. I have yet to do any yoga and probably won't. I do have a weight lifting routine that I will start after my race this Saturday. I am training for a 10K in October, but since I am pretty sure SkyWalker's surgery will be in October I'm kind of doing it for the training and expecting to not actually do the race. Whatever happens, happens. I ran my longest distance (4.5 miles) last Sunday and thought "I only have to do 1.5 more" not "holy crap how am I going to do 1.5 more?" So that's good. Oh! And my girlie problem turned out to be nothing more than some low-down cramping so I just have to take motrin 800 and I'm all good. It won't interfere with my running at all.
*************
Working:
I've been thinking a lot about when I have to go back to work when my last baby is in school. I have no desire whatsoever to go back to work. But I'm sure Vader will have a heart attack if I say that. If I could find a library job that will let me work 9-1 that would be great. I want to get the kids off the bus and be here when there are here. I don't want nights or weekends. I just don't want that anymore. Ideally, I would like to find a job that will let me work from home. Even though I get paid crapola from the examiner I've been doing lots of articles. I'm trying to build up a resource between that and my book blog and establish my presence online again. If I can do some kind of freelance writing or even librarianing (I know that's not a word but I like it.) through the internets I think we'd be okay. Vader's school loan is paid off. Mine will be paid off by then. We won't be spending money on diapers. The only debt we have is the van and the house. And by the time the last baby is in school SkyWalker might be old enough to start mowing lawns. So, if you haven't been reading my examiner articles or going through my book blog to get to amazon, you're dead to me.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Help a sister out
This is not about running.
FYI, I'm making lots of changes to my book blog. I'm now an amazon associate, which means that I will make a tiny bit of money if you get to amazon through me and then buy something. So if you're addicted to amazon like me, stop at my book blog first. Thanks!
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