I had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night in the shower, crying to myself, as everything just kept piling up. This has just been a hell of a week. I know I've complained ad nauseum about my eyes--after nearly a week of wearing my glasses my eyes are just so tired and strained I really can't see well. The ointment makes it worse. I just have until Sunday but it seems a lifetime away. On top of my eyes, I still can't breathe out of my nose, everything is sore, it hurts when I walk, it hurts when I stand, it hurts when I do anything. And of all weeks Vader is working late and going in on weekends and I am alone with a toddler and two barking dogs and am at the end of my rope.
SkyWalker seems to be going through a weird poop phase, every poop is an event and is preceeded by crying and complaining. He did poop on the potty again tonight (3rd time) but only after walking around the house crying about poop. And even after pooping in the potty he's still whining about poop. Right now he is content sitting next to me on the couch and watching "There Goes a Garbage Truck" (which he called Dump Truck movie and I didn't know what he meant and we got into a bit of a fight about it).
He complained earlier when I picked him up at daycare when I was unable to draw a satisfactory "big truck" on his little doodle thing. The thing I bought for HIM to draw on and play with in the car. He's been okay with my bubble-car and bike and moon, but apparently my trucks are just not up to standards. And he doesn't understand why. Luckily once we got going he preoccupied himself looking out the window at real trucks and was happy.
The dogs are outside barking. As they have been all night. My voice is hoarse from screaming at them. They know Daddy should be home and he's not and they are on high alert. It is very annoying. I've tried keeping them inside but they bark just as much and drive me even crazier.
I'm just at the end of my frickin' rope. There's work drama and stress that I don't need. It's all piling up and I'm ready to explode. I should be happy right now, soon I will be home with my babies, where I belong, and I am happy, very happy about that. And weeks like this don't make me doubt my decision. It's not every week that I'm pregnant with pink eye.
Vader just called to say he's on his way home now, which means he'll be home by 8. I need to shower, make my lunch for tomorrow, and go to bed. And get ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
2 comments:
i'm sorry. it sucks when the spouse goes away for work all the time, and you're pregnant and stuck doing everything. mine has been going to san francisco so often lately that i am almost wondering if he'll actually be in town for, you know, the birth of his child. i consider myself lucky if i don't totally get evil and angry during his absences, and last week, i did pretty good. (this is the first week in a long time that he hasn't been gone on a trip.) of course, next week, i get to see him just on monday, as he's gone tuesday-thursday, and i am at a retreat friday-sunday. i guess the guys feel like they have some sense of control when babies come if they work insane hours for financial security, but it does nothing for our mental security, does it? *hugs*
I'm sorry... I bet my going away this week didn't help any... At least you don't have to work this weekend... ::hug::
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