Last week, Thursday, was the day of the surgery. It has kicked my ass. I thought out-patient meant "easy". It was anything but for me (and now that I've done my research, a lot of other people too). The CO2 gas from the laparoscopy was excruciating. I got sick from the codeine. Nausea, vomiting, constipation plus pain was super fun. It's been a week and I think I am at the regular soreness that the doctors speak of. If I move the wrong way I can feel the mesh poking me. I have to be super careful and slow and deliberate with all my movements. Sleeping is difficult. What's interesting is that my incisions are fine--very little pain in that area. Most of the soreness is on the opposite side of my abdomen, not even where the mesh is. I'm kind of wondering if the camera bumped into an organ! I am using my oils and they are helping, but it's still pretty hard.
Anyway, this past week has been much tougher than I expected. I'm not anticipating even trying to run for a couple more weeks. I might start biking first. I made my bed today and wiped down the kitchen table and I think I'll be on the couch for the rest of the day, if that's any indication of my energy levels.
I keep thinking about The Princess and her surgeries and how young she was and whether or not it hurt as bad. She seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. I am so glad that part of our lives is over. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. And how pleasant the last year has been. There was a time when we just bugged each other, pushed each other's buttons, brought out the worst in each other. I say "a time" but it was more like 5 years or so. She was so quick to anger and tantrums and we spent a lot of time yelling.
I've worked super hard over the last year on myself. On not blaming other people for things that I'm feeling, on taking responsibility for myself and my happiness, on not worrying so damn much, on being positive and grateful. I'll be honest, I think the oils have helped a lot in this. As I've centered myself, I think it has spilled over to her. In the last year she has been calmer, saner, and all together happier. I call her my bright-sider because she is always looking for the bright side of whatever has happened. She is super helpful and loving with her sister. She will still get angry from time to time, which is natural and normal--but she's not throwing huge tantrums. Of all of them she has the most empathy. A little while ago I started doing compliments at dinner time. I compliment the kids and they compliment each other (and sometimes us). She has completely taken to it and puts thought into it and is the first to remind us if we haven't done it. She also listens to everything I say--all the inspirational motivational things I have said over the last year--she takes them to heart. When I think back to how unbalanced she was--how unbalanced I must have been--it is amazing how she has transformed. I'm not sure if it's a temporary reprieve until she's a tween/teen... But so far 8 has been pretty awesome.
