Monday, October 27, 2008

Roller coasters

This Monday started off better than the last one. I got my lazy ass out of bed at 7 and was in the closet getting dressed when SkyWalker came in. Unfortunately he did not get himself dressed which is what I've been telling him to do. But he was still sleepy enough that he was compliant and we went upstairs and got dressed without incident. He had a little bit of play time and we left only slightly later than I had wanted to. Unfortunately when we got to preschool I couldn't leave because it was my day to be the parent volunteer. Oh. Joy. We brought in corn muffins and apple juice for snack. The Princess did everything the big kids did, except for listening and sitting quietly. Other than that she painted, drew with markers, did puzzles, played with the kitchen set and out on the playground. SkyWalker did not play with one single kid inside the classroom. His teacher said he never does. But she said he does talk to them and interact, he just doesn't do cooperative play. But then out on the playground he ran around with a hula hoop chasing the "bad guys" and shouting and playing with the kids. The teacher said it was a first. I only hope that he's okay on Wednesday when I'm not there. 

We had an okay day after that, including riding a virtual roller coaster with Uncle Rye-rye, and then it all went to hell after dinner. He refused to listen to one single thing I said! I threatened to take his beloved bike away--his inside bike that he rides everywhere--he said "take my bike away." I said "no books before bed." No biggie. We all went upstairs and I brushed his teeth for him and wound up throwing his pajamas on the floor and telling him he could sleep naked for all I cared. I shut his light out and put the Princess to sleep and he put his pajamas on. She SCREAMED at the top of her lungs. I still don't know why. He went to bed. Got up. I hear "Mommy. See my poopy." So I had to go up there to congratulate him on his poopy (I have no choice with that) and as I'm up there the Princess starts screaming again. I pick her up, she points, I bring her to the bathroom, she smiles at herself in the mirror. I bring her back to her room, she points, I put her on the changing table, she has nothing. I put her back down, turn her clock radio off and she turns it back on and lays down fine. What the dilly-o?

I have the kitchen organized and cleaned and that's all I'm doing tonight. I'll need to get the bathrooms done tomorrow. The wallpaper removal guy/painter is coming on Wednesday. I have no idea where he's starting but I should at least try to clean the damn toilets. 

I think, yes, it is. My daughter is listening to Pantera now. Classic. My son likes the Beastie Boys but she seems to like the heavier stuff. Excellent.

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Friday, October 24, 2008

The need for clothes

There is a love affair in this house that makes me sick. Sick, I tell you! It's not the way SkyWalker always gets a snack for the Princess when he's illegally getting one for himself. It's not the way he kisses her when he sees her in the morning or when we pick him up from preschool. It's not the way he says "Hi Miss Lady" and hugs her and tickles her. It's not the way he reads to her in the morning when he sneaks into her room/crib and teaches her how to say things. No. It's the way he TAKES HER DIAPER OFF and chases her so he can kiss her HEINEY! 

Tonight was just beyond belief though. Vader had promised dinner so I was in the kitchen straightening up and well, facebooking, and the children were playing. Next thing I hear is a closed door. I open my bedroom door and I think I need to see a shrink now... and there they were, both naked from the waist down, jumping on my bed. Rolling around my bed. Wrestling on my bed. With the lights off. I was told to GET OUT and TURN THE LIGHT OFF! I put a pull-up on the Princess quickly and made SkyWalker out his underwear on and then... I got out. 

Now, I am not a fashion person. I don't like shopping all that much. I tend to wear the same clothes over and over until my mother and/or siblings buy me something new. BUT. I wear clothes! I like clothes. They make me warm. They cover my girlie bits. So, why? Why, do my children not like to wear clothes? What is so appealing about being naked? It's too damn cold. 

I have to wrestle the both of them to get them dressed now. The little one is just as bad as her brother. It's a constant struggle. Every single morning we fight, even when we promise not to. Perhaps I should send SkyWalker to preschool naked. Maybe he'll get dressed then. I almost miss the days he peed the bed and got himself dressed in the morning because of it. Almost. I know what I need to do is get MY ass out of bed earlier so I can get him out of bed earlier and get him dressed when he is too tired to fight and then give him the play time that he's always fighting for. He can get himself dressed but he usually needs pushing to do it. And lately he's been sleeping later and so have I. It would be nice if I could have someone else nagging him in the morning but I just don't know who would be able to do it. *insert eyeroll here*

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Jekyll and Hyde

My son was a whiny piece of crap this morning. We fought getting dressed, we fought brushing teeth, we fought getting out the door, we fought over the storytime craft, we fought over lunch. And then, while I was changing the Princess's stinkalicious poopy diaper, I heard "Come see my poopy!!". I put her down for a nap and ran downstairs and SkyWalker had done another huge poop. He had spiked apple juice this morning and spiked PBJ for lunch. Someone normal would probably have diarrhea, but he doesn't. He did have a rather loose one yesterday--in his underwear because he was trying to hold it in (so bad I had to throw them out). And once he pooped--even though he hadn't expressed any difficulty this morning--he was a changed boy. Completely and totally changed. Happy, smiling, singing, kissing me and telling me he loves me. 

He does this a lot. 

I think moms get a bad rap for being bi-polar. Really it's our rotten unbalanced children who scream and cry over not being able to have a piece of bread before lunch--which consists of FRIGGIN BREAD--and then tell you how much they love you and want to cuddle you. It can drive a person nutty!

By the time I am done with all this birthing of babies I am going to be completely and totally crazy. I will probably wear old bathrobes with holes in them--to storytime--and wash my hair once a month instead of the every other day--or so--that I do now.

Good times my friends. Good times.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

I hate Mondays

I hate Mondays. 

I'm not in school anymore. I don't work full time anymore. But still I hate Mondays. Vader goes back to work and even though he's usually so busy on the weekends, it's nice having him around. He spent all morning with SkyWalker yesterday and then SkyWalker went outside with him later in the afternoon and helped him dig holes. It was nice. But Mondays he goes back to work and we go back to being by ourselves. All day. Vader goes food shopping after work so he doesn't get home until very late. Which means we have dinner by ourselves, I have to feed the dogs (he usually does), and get the kids to bed by myself. They often go to bed early because after 12 hours we're fighting and they're misbehaving and get sent to bed early. But really, the reason I hate Mondays most of all is because the dogs don't SHUT THE HELL UP. As soon as it gets close to the time when Vader would normally be getting home they start expecting him. And barking. But he doesn't come home, so then they go on high alert and bark at every single noise-real or imagined. They are locked in my bedroom now in a feeble attempt to keep them from waking the sleeping children. 

I hate Mondays. 

We used to have the distraction of dinner companions each Monday evening so that we were not alone and yelling at each other to do this or that. If it wasn't such a pain in the ass (and expensive) I would just take the kids out to eat each Monday. But alas, it is a pain and it is expensive, so each Monday we just muddle through it ourselves and hope that Tuesday is better. 

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Random question

Who's reading me that lives in Broadalbin? Or near enough there to have an IP address associated with it?

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Lazy sunday afternoon

More meetup drama for those of you who just unlurked yourselves. Who knew all I had to do was have a locked post and you'd come out of the woodwork. Tee-hee

SkyWalker has worn pull-ups the last couple of nights. The first night it was a little wet. The second was dry. The third was soaked. Sigh. He's been trying to hold his poop in but since I'm giving him the laxative every day he can't do it. I think another child would have diarrhea, but he's just having soft poop like a normal person. It's tough giving it to him though because he should have it in juice or water and all he's been wanting is milk! I put it in the milk anyway, but I have a feeling it's a little counterproductive. 

The Princess has horrible diaper rash and it might be from the pull-ups. I'm not sure, but maybe they're not as absorbent and she's been sitting in her pee too long? Oops. 

SkyWalker took a lovely nap yesterday and then was up late and a couple of times at night. The Princess woke up crying in the middle of the night. Haze scared the crap out of me sticking her cold wet nose on my face in the middle of the night and then walked around the room bugging us. In conclusion, I am tired.

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Drama, part deux

Just to follow up... 

I got e-mail today from the mom who quit my group. She apologized for her harsh message and said that about an hour before she got my e-mail she got devastating news about her youngest daughter and that her whole world had collapsed so she responded inappropriately. Her daughter has hydrocephalus and chiari and has had multiple brain surgeries. There's only one thing that I would label devastating and I really hope it's not that. I e-mailed her back right away and said I was so sorry that things weren't going well and that I hoped she got a miracle and it wasn't as devastating as it could be. 

It kind of makes sense now. I really wasn't expecting that response from her and now I know what's going on, kinda. Part of the reason I e-mailed her in the first place is because I knew her daughter took up a lot of their time--constant traveling to specialists--and I didn't want her to be stressed out worrying about the group. I still think that she overreacted but it's so miniscule compared to the important things in life. She apologized and recognized it and I feel better that there isn't any weird unsettled business. 

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Thursday, October 16, 2008


I accept it. 

SkyWalker is just not ready to stay dry at night. Despite the fact that he has done it numerous times, I don't think he really *wants* to do it and that's the key... Last night he peed in his bed BEFORE he fell asleep. He was awake. He said he "forgot." Maybe he's just trying to get our attention? He peed AGAIN less than 2 hours later. And then again this morning. I told him that if he couldn't stay dry he would have to wear a pull-up. I thought maybe he would be motivated. Nope. His response? "I want to wear a diaper like the Princess." I am not putting him in a diaper. I still want him to pee on his own and a pull up is easier for that. So tonight he will wear a pull-up and perhaps we will all get some sleep. He slept until 8:30 this morning. He has dark circles under his eyes. He's refusing to nap during the day but he's clearly so tired. Maybe pull-ups will help.

He also hasn't pooped since Tuesday. He told me yesterday that he was going to poop but then thought it was going to be a bad one so he decided not to. WTH? I am ignoring it and just putting the laxative in his drinks. It hasn't worked yet but he hasn't accepted a full dose yet! I am definitely going to give him the laxative every day now to try to prevent this from happening again. Hopefully he will grow out of this nonsense!

The Princess is also wearing a pull-up right now. The other day I put her on the potty before her nap and she peed and we clapped and then I said "Try to squeeze out a poop so you don't wake up cranky" and lo and behold people she SQUEEZED out a poop. Immediately. It was amazing. 

My house is full of yin and yang.

The Princess is awake after just an hour of napping... SkyWalker didn't even let himself fall asleep. I probably should have taken a shower since I have that whole work thing tonight, but why should I start to care now? You know those moms who wear makeup and look nice? Screw you. I'm proud of my unwashed hair and my hairy toes.

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A bunch of nothing

I just wrote a post about my meetup drama. But you have to be logged in to read it. So if you're a lurker, sucks to be you! 

My daughter fell asleep with both the clock radio and her oceans aquarium on. 

My husband just pulled in and I haven't even played Word Challenge yet! Damnit! Better clear this internet history so he thinks I've been cleaning all day and not on the internets!

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Oh the drama

I've been having some meetup problems. I go back and forth between laughing at the absurdity of it and getting really annoyed with things. The background: I started this meetup because I had joined another across the river and it was just too much of a pain with my kids' schedules to get over there to do things. But I liked the people I met and I liked the idea. So I asked the meetup organizer if it would be okay for me to start my own for over here (because I'm a geek like that... I didn't need permission but I liked her and didn't want to offend her). She was totally supportive. So I started one over here. And made some wonderful friends who have made my life so much better than the dark depressing days of October 2007. My group now has 33 members in it. There are LOTS of inactive people. People I have never met. But they keep coming to the site and at least checking it out so I'm not removing them yet. Then there are some that come to things that I REALLY wish wouldn't. I don't know how to get rid of them. I'm sorry I don't like you doesn't seem to be a good excuse. Because the group got larger and I got busier I had a couple of Assistant Organizers. They turned out to do NOTHING. Now that SkyWalker is in preschool 3 days a week and the Princess naps right after we get home, my time is pretty limited. So I really NEED the asst. organizers now. I e-mailed the other meetup organizer for advice, which she nicely gave, and I e-mailed the 2 assts. and very nicely explained that I really needed help and if they were too busy they could step down and that would be okay, no hard feelings. I had expected a somewhat less than favorable response from one of them but not from the other one. The other one e-mailed back that she would be leaving the group and then before I even got a chance to say "hey, you don't have to do that" she left the group, with a snarky comment no less. I so do NOT need this drama. I could e-mail her and try to explain and make her feel better. But you know what? I'm not. Because I don't need drama. 

And because I'm kind of hoping that one of the annoying people leaves when she sees that this person has also left. 

So I did what I should have done in the beginning and had one of my actual FRIENDS be an assistant organizer. And it's actually perfect since she just got a job (boo hoo) so she'll focus on nights and weekends. PERFECT. 

It kills me that I pay for this too. $75 for 6 months. And of course I do all 6 months at once because it's cheaper that way. And of course I just renewed it. I should not be paying for drama! 

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Sunday, October 12, 2008


Man poop does not even begin to describe the massive amount of poop that just came out of my son--amidst loads of painful screaming. More like gorilla poop. Or dinosaur poop. Three days worth of backed up poop. Dude, it filled the toilet. No wonder the kid slept for HOURS today. I wouldn't be able to move with all that in me either.

And that has been your poop update, brought to by PBJ spiked with pureed prunes and lots of apple juice.

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Lest you all think that things are going smashingly grand in the Jedi house... As the Princess continues to poop on the potty (6 times now), her brother is on day #3 of holding it in. He is sleeping now, didn't have lunch, and has been off and on screaming in pain for the last couple of hours. I'm going to fill the miralax prescription, despite my husband's disapproval, because I cannot go through this again. 

The end.

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Friday, October 10, 2008


This morning the Princess woke up crying at 6:30. I was already up (!) and went up there to see what was the matter since it was most unusual. I took her diaper off, no bad poopies, and she pointed. To the potty. I put her on it as I do every morning now. I read her a book. Nothing. I said "Are you done? Do you want to get down?" She matter of factly said "No." and proceeded to poop and pee and then pointed to the toilet paper and wiped herself. 

I kid you not. 

She will be 17 months old next Wednesday.

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Thursday, October 9, 2008


There are so many funny things to share I can't possibly remember them all. Today while playing Disney Memory, SkyWalker turned over Alice in Wonderland and said "Alice in Wonderland. Like Alice in Chains." I love this boy.

He and his sister were wrestling in his room (yes, they were wrestling. Crawling all over each other, giggling like crazy). He dragged her around the room by her leg and she loved it. I checked on them again and she was naked and he was chasing her trying to kiss her heiney. He was successful.

Quite possibly the funniest thing today was this morning as he was getting dressed. When we were at his check up on Monday his pediatrician had a hard time finding his testicles. It was cold. He was nervous. They were riding a little high. This morning he was naked and I looked and all I see is empty sac. So I say "Where are your balls?" He looks down and says "Where ARE my balls?" and starts feeling around. He's pulling and pulling on himself and gets one down. He says "Here's one." I say "Okay." He says "Maybe I just have one ball?" I said "No [giggle] you have two". He says "Where ARE my balls?" again and attacks himself looking. It was the funniest thing ever. But now I'm going to have to have Daddy check him out and make sure he's got 2 where they're supposed to be!

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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Apple picking


When I first told SkyWalker that he would be apple picking, the first thing he said was "With Littleman?" I said "No, honey, he's in Texas, we're going apple picking with other friends." He said "Tony?" I said "No, honey, his Mommy got a job, he's in daycare now." He wanted to go to the one we went to last year (with Littleman). I said no, we're going someplace else. I think he thought there was a slight chance if we went to the same place Littleman would miraculously be there. We went someplace near our house. I had told him that the little jobber would be there but the poor little guy boycotted his naps today, so he had to bow out. SkyWalker said "So who's going to be here?" and I wondered the same thing. We waited around and then we went apple picking by ourselves. The Princess enjoyed pointing to the "balls" and picking them up. SkyWalker asked where all the good ones were. We got the bag half full and half an hour later SkyWalker said let's go home. I said sure. As we were walking to the car, I asked him if he wanted to get a cider donut and he got excited by that. A car pulls up--the homeschooling mom. It is now 4 pm and we were supposed to meet at 3:30. She sees us and proceeds to complain about us being done already. Um, I have a 4 year old and a 16 month old, who was walking on her own, and you're half an hour late. How long did you think we'd last? She and her kids had a donut and chocolate lollipops with us and she continued to complain about A) the length of our meetups and her commute and B) no one else showing up. She asked if it was even worth it for her to come out. 

I was so nice people. So nice. I said everything I could to convey, No it's not worth it, without saying it. I wanted to say, I'm sorry that you have an hour commute, but that's the risk you take when you join a group that far away. We have little kids, we can't have meetups that are 3 hours long, and things change at the last minute! People cancel, I cancel. These things happen. If you can't deal, don't come. 

So apple-picking sucked. 

Which leads me to Halloween. 

Last Halloween was um, rather traumatic for us. The trick-or-treating was fun--our first time--but after that was well, traumatic. I really REALLY want to make nice happy pleasant memories this Halloween. The only problem is our friends all seem to be busy or won't be around here. The library is not having it's program this year. I have no idea where I'm going to take my kid and more importantly--with who. I know it's only one day and I know he will have fun Halloweens in the future, but this one, this one I really need to be a good fun one. And if it's not, that will suck donkey balls.

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Since the napping rule started the jedi and I have fallen into a routine. Please note, I did not say a nice routine. It goes something like this: SkyWalker refuses to go to sleep at 8 and instead we keep finding him on the stairs wanting to A) tell me he loves me all day or B) want to know what we're watching. He also wakes up in the middle of the night crying because various body parts hurt or whatever excuse he can come up with. My alarm goes off at 6, I turn it off, take my temp and wait for my second alarm--my children. But because my children are sleeping like crappity-crap, they are  either waking up at 8 or not at all and I'm waking up at 8. Leaving me with precious little time to get all 3 of us dressed and fed and out the door. Particularly when I have to wrestle both of them to get them dressed. I tried to put a bow in the Princess hair this morning and I should have just cut her ears off instead, since she was giving me the same struggle. SkyWalker has actually had 2 dry nights in a row (I'm not ready to say it's the napping), which means he's not getting himself dressed in the morning. And he fights me tooth and nail. I get them dressed and out the door and leave behind dishes in the sink, dirty cereal still in them dishes, milky towels and tableclothes and a general mess. When we get home we have lunch and then the naptime fight. I have no idea how long he actually falls asleep, but I do not think it's long. It's probably half an hour or so. So I have to repeatedly go up there and tell him to get back in bed and stop playing and have to listen to him tell me he's not tired and he wants me to stay because he just really loves me--all for a half hour nap? That screws up the night and is leaving us exhausted in the morning? If he continues having dry nights I suppose I'll have to just deal... and force myself to get out of bed earlier. I keep thinking about next year when he's in kindergarten. What the hell am I going to do then? It's going to be so early! Although maybe that will be good. Maybe Vader will have to actually help out and stand out at the bus stop with him. Because if I have to get both of them dressed, in addition to myself and stand outside at 7 something in the morning, I will begin screaming now and not stop for the next 17 years. 

I am tired and grouchy and irritated. The dishes are done and I'm washing towels and I swept the floor but I feel like I can't get a handle on my life right now and that really irritates me. I need something to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. And I need to stop playing Word Challenge damnit.

Oh--but the Princess has pooped on the potty 3 times now, peed countless times and will go and walk to it if you say "Do you want to use the potty?" When she is done she twists and points to the toilet paper. That's pretty good right?

2:09 pm. I am going to scream. The Princess was sleeping. Because SkyWalker isn't tired and didn't want to nap, he went in her room and woke her up after just half an hour. They were giggling and playing in the crib. She NEEDS to sleep. We're going apple picking and leaving at 3. If he were not upstairs she would be sleeping and he would never have woken up. They are both screaming and crying right now. I think there will be WWIII when Vader gets home tonight.

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Sunday, October 5, 2008


I just read a couple of books. I do that every once in a while. I wrote about them over here. You can see what they are by scrolling down and looking to the left at my new um, widget thing (on vox). I'm not sure what it's called. But it's cool. And took me all day of surfing to find. If you're interested in my shocking opinions on Breaking Dawn, click away.

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Saturday, October 4, 2008

Brain cells

I used to be so smart. Really. I did good on my SATs. Went to college in the honors program. Always did well playing Jeopardy.

And then.

Well, and then I had children.

And now I wear slip on shoes because I don't think I could handle shoe laces.

Need more evidence?

On Thursday night, after wrapping up an exciting evening of playing Word Challenge, I closed the web browser at work and saw a pop-up that said this: "Your System Administrator has determined that your current activity is providing a level of enjoyment beyond that which is allowed on company time. Your enjoyment will now be disabled. You may continue with this activity but you may not enjoy it. See your system administrator for more details." And then buttons that said "Ok" "Sorry" "Dock my Pay".

I instantly thought that my system administrator was screwing with me from home, since part of the night I had been chatting with her online. I logged off the computer when I couldn't get it to go away.

When I turned the computer on this morning I was surprised to see it still there. Since I was once again chatting with my system administrator online, I asked her about it. She had me run ad-aware and we looked into it and then I got busy. I decided to just run some spyware stuff because I just couldn't get rid of this pop-up.

And then. I realized.

It wasn't a pop-up.

It was the desktop picture that one of my co-workers had chosen.

This is almost as funny as the time I was hooking up my cable box in the bedroom because the floors in the living room were being done and I couldn't get anything to work and called up and then realized that I had hooked one cable box to the other cable box instead of to the signal from the wall.

I used to be so smart.

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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I need a synonym for progress


The Princess and I dropped SkyWalker off at preschool this morning and he was the first one in the room and barely looked back. He wanted to show the teacher the alligator he made at the library storytime yesterday. I don't know if that was it or if something just clicked with him, but whatever it was, he was happy and fine. He asked me to sing our goodbye song* but that was it. I got out in 5 minutes instead of 10. It was amazing. He claims he pooped there on Monday and since he was chock full of laxatives and suppositories I think I believe him. Maybe he just needed to poop there to find his comfort zone. 

The Princess and I went to Wal-Mart where I found a black long-sleeve onesie ("creeper") for her for Halloween instead of having to buy it online. There was a time when you couldn't find black clothes for kids. I'm glad I don't live in that time. And I found washable dry erase markers that will hopefully save her sheets and clothes from any more permanent damage. At Target I got an umbrella stroller with a canopy. Score!

She was happy in storytime, although still not as enthusiastic as I thought she would be. She smiles a lot and enjoys it but I really thought she would be up dancing the whole time. She's pretty tired by the time we get there though. I don't know what I can do though. If I took her home for a nap she'd get less than an hour--assuming that she fell asleep the minute we got home. Which she wouldn't because she's not tired at 9:30. If gas wasn't so damn expensive I would drive around and let her fall asleep in the car before storytime. BUT, I am happy to say that she is sleeping now and I had no problems getting her down for a nap today. Is it possible that we've found our rhythm? 

We picked up SkyWalker and I had to pee like a racehorse so we used the potty. I made him pee like I always do before we get in the car and he surprised me by pooping there. JOY. (for reals) He's watching Hard Hat Harry right now instead of napping but I don't think the napping thing is working so I don't care. 

It's so nice when things just work out.

In the funny files, this was our one-sided lunch conversation:
"When my room is dark and downstairs is dark I'm scared but in the morning when I'm in my room and downstairs I be fine but when it's dark in my room I'm scared but I'm okay. Was I a little boy when we went to North Carolina? A long time ago when I was a little little boy I pooped in my diaper at night and peed in it and it didn't get in the bed and that's why I love you."

There was even more but sadly I can't remember it all. I wish I had surveillance cameras on him because he is hilarious. And then I would have seen him cutting his sister's hair the other morning. He only did the back and top and it's not even noticeable. But I'd love to know if she just sat there for him. He was in her crib in the morning and used baby nail scissors so it's not as bad as it could have been. He said that her hair looked funny and he thought she should have hair like him. He's right, it does look funny, but I don't think she needs his cut. 

*(To the tune of Frere Jacques)
Mommy loves you.
Mommy loves you.
Yes I do.
Yes I do.
There's no need to cry now.
There's no need to cry now.
I'll be back.
I'll be back.

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