Thursday, May 31, 2007

I am sleepy

I am sleepy... I am sleepy.. why aren't you?? Yawn.

Things have been going okay. I've been keeping my shit together which is the important thing. It's quite ironic that SkyWalker has chosen now when his baby sister has just arrived and I am up every 2 hours, to have his vocabulary EXPLODE. He has not stopped talking. At all. I don't know when he breathes. Really, I don't. If he's not talking to me he's just talking in general. He's awfully cute with what he is saying and he's doing so so so well with his pronounciation and repeating what we say. But he also has the tendency to repeat what he has just said, about a million frickin times. "Daddy go back outside?" I think he's missing his short-term memory. I answer him each time, without using the f-word, and I don't want to stifle his development. But man, when you haven't been sleeping sometimes all you want is a little quiet.

The Princess is doing better about the night feedings. I've been getting her up every 2 hours during the day and feeding her, regardless or whether she wakes on her own or not. I've also been mostly feeding her just one side, for as long as she wants, except for in the morning after I pump when she gets both sides to get even more of the "hind milk." She's so much more efficient than her brother was--she can finish in 10 minutes or sometimes even less. If she continues to go every 2 hours at night (or longer) than I'll stop waking her during the day and let her tell me when she wants to eat. She had been eating every hour or less at night and that just sucked. She also tends to have her big poopies at night. Thanks.

Speaking of poopies--SkyWalker pooped on the potty intentionally this morning! And he's been peeing on the potty. He's wearing Hulk pull-ups right now. Mostly because it's easier for me to change him standing up with those than with diapers. I think he'd be potty trained if I was seriously doing it, but I can't seriously do it if I'm nursing every 2 hours. I think in a few weeks we might try. But who knows?

We went to a fire truck museum yesterday and SkyWalker loved it. He got to wear a firefighter jacket and hat and ride on a few of them. It was nice doing something fun as a family. We never do that. This is Vader's last week at home and while I keep thinking "what am I going to do when he goes back to work?" there really won't be much of a difference since he's been outside most of the time doing his landscaping or mowing the lawn. Right now he is having lunch with his friend.

My dogs are outside and want to come in but I am being lazy and not getting up to open the door. I wish we had a doggie door, but then again I don't.

A few days ago I put The Princess in her crib for her first nap there. At the same time that SkyWalker was napping. It was wonderful! I took a shower! I can't get anything done until she's napping in her crib so I've got to get that established early. The Princess is 2 weeks old, 2 1/2 actually, and already she has cried herself to sleep. Unintentionally. We were all upstairs (by all I mean me and them) and I was in the bathroom with SkyWalker. The Princess was in her crib and she started crying. But I was in the middle of helping SkyWalker on the potty and couldn't leave. Then all of a sudden she was quiet. I checked in on her and she was asleep. She woke up briefly and then put herself back to sleep.  She's napped twice in her crib today and put herself to sleep there. Woo-hoo! She sleeps so much that she's often asleep when she finishes nursing. Even after I change her diaper. She's rarely awake so it's tough to put her down when she is awake so she can learn how to fall asleep on her own. I don't nurse to sleep and I don't rock to sleep and I really believe in babies learning how to do that themselves so they can soothe themselves at 3 am without needing my boob or something else from me to get back to sleep. So it's good that we're heading in the right direction.

I've been up since 5:30. And I mean up. I nursed her at 5:30, got out of bed at 5:45, was pumping and sewing a shirt that ripped at 6, ordered new nursing camis at 6:30 and was in the shower by 7. And nursing again by 7:30. I am very much ready for a nap right now. Unfortunately with the exception of Miss Sleeps All Day, no one else is ready for a nap. Would it be really bad if I started slipping benedryl in his lunch? Or just be direct and give him sleeping pills? Really, would it be so wrong?

Aside from the normal sleeplessness and stress of "Am I doing anything right?" things are going really well. SkyWalker is wonderful with his sister. He wants to hug her all the time and truly loves her. He shares his old toys and will much more readily give HER something than me. He plays by himself and is not constantly whining for my attention. He's so much better than I would have expected, but then again he's generally so well-behaved I shouldn't be surprised. He has his moments and there have been some times when he's been pretty whiny or too hands on with The Princess. Like 2 seconds ago, he just dopped her pacifier on her even though she is asleep and I told him she doesn't need it. But that's much better than smacking her in the face right?

I should probably start paying attention to them all again. Especially since someone is squeezing my bog toe and oh, he just kissed my foot. Tee-hee. Oh--quick funny--SkyWalker thinks me pumping is fascinating to watch (um, please don't!) but the funniest is him saying that The Princess is drinking from my "belly." We've both told him that she gets her milk from my "breast" but he insists that it's my belly and he pokes me there and says "belly!" It is hilarious.

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Sunday, May 20, 2007


Remember that commercial? For long distance I think, only it was Bob and the baby was a boy. Anyway, I shall spare you the gruesome details but confirm that I did indeed have a baby girl just 5 days ago. She, now known as "The Princess" in this vox, was born at 5:20 p.m. on Tuesday. 7 pounds, 4 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long. When I went to the OB Tuesday morning (11:30 am) they confirmed what I had thought on Monday--that I was indeed in labor. I was already 4 cm dilated, 80% effaced whatever the hell that means and according to the doc who very Ungently checked my cervix, my membranes were "bulging". Alrighty then...

Long story short, around 3:30ish they ruptured my bulging membranes (and holy crap I did not realize what that meant. I would much much rather have my water break on its own than go through that again...), and I made it to 6 cm dilated before I got the epidural. I had asked for it at 5 cm because once again the pain went all to my back. And I'm sorry but I can't deal with back pain. So I called uncle, and had to wait because the lady in the room next to me had some kind of problems with her epidural. When it finally came the anesthesiologist kept saying what a strong back I had. It took us only 5 minutes. That was at 5:06 p.m. At 5:14 p.m. I was fully (10 cm) dilated. And after a few quick pushes out she came. I managed to do it without any tearing or episiotomy--and then they put her on me, cord attached, icky all over her and I didn't realize that the placenta was still coming out. And they didn't tell me. So instead of pushing I was trying to figure out how to politely say "Can you clean this baby now?". Oh, and there was the crying and being grateful for a healthy baby and a girl and all that. So I was distracted. And the damn placenta tore me! How could a placenta do that?? See, I knew my placenta still hated me. So my poor girlie bits are still sore and I still had to get stitches and it's a bitch.

She is doing very well, came out ready to eat, and is doing her favorite thing right now--sleeping. She sleeps a lot, unfortunately not so much at 3 am. But we're getting there. SkyWalker is doing WONDERFUL with her and loves her and pronounces her name right and wants to hug his "baby sister" all the time.

They are both waking from their naps right now. Aside from the normal tiredness and the uncomfortableness of stitches and not being able to poop easily, things are going swimmingly. Vader is being a huge help, as he should be, and I'm sure I'll be back on my feet in no time. :-)

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Monday, May 14, 2007


There is a series of books that I love--Keys to the Kingdom by Garth Nix. I just posted a review of the 5th one on my books blog. In my review of the 4th one last year I mentioned that I thought the trustee characters were all afflicted with one of the seven deadly sins. And in this review I repeated that, but I wasn't entirely clear on which of the sins Lady Friday or Sir Thursday fit into. Anyway, my point: there is an entire wikipedia article about this. Not about my reviews, about the series and the 7 deadly sins. On the one hand I'm like, alright I'm reading the series correctly. On the other hand I'm thinking 'did I totally miss something in the first book? Is this common knowledge and it's just taken me that long to figure it out??' I am slightly embarassed. Particularly since I e-mailed the author today to confess my love, I mean to ask him which of the sins he would attribute to the aforementioned characters.


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if you're not reading MetroDad, you should be.

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There are some people who are pregnant past 40 weeks. How the hell do they do it? My best friend was one. I am 38 weeks and going CRAZY. Granted me being 38 weeks is somewhat akin to someone else going past 40 in that SkyWalker was born at 36 weeks. So this feels so much longer to me.

My back hurts. My legs hurt. My hoo-ha REALLY hurts. It used to be just turning over in bed or walking up stairs or doing a lot of walking would give me the pain. But simply sitting here right now hurts. Standing long enough to brush my teeth. I think it's just a constant sensation of pressure and pain.

I go back to the OB tomorrow. They'll do an ultrasound and check the cervix and all that fun stuff. I have little fantasies of them telling me that I'm dilated and ready to go. And then it's all over in a couple of hours. And the whole time SkyWalker is in daycare and everything works out wonderfully. And I won't be able to hear the dogs barking. GAH! They are so on edge, I think possibly even worse than me. Especially little Haze. She's constantly checking in on Mama.

I just drank the last of my orange juice. I have very little milk left. I love living in the country, but man I wish I could walk down to the corner and get some damn milk. Not that walking would be easier than driving at this point, but at least I wouldn't be in danger of killing someone if I'm just walking.

At least I don't have pink eye.

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Sunday, May 13, 2007


My best friend (and person responsible for watching SkyWalker while I am in labor) is in New Jersey for her husband's graduation tomorrow. The school vote is on Tuesday and my mother is the district clerk for her school on Long Island (and therefore has to be there). This would not be a good time to go into labor.

If extreme pelvic pressure and uncontrollable crying are signs of labor, I might be screwed.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Funny SkyWalker stories

As promised.

I don't think I've been talking much about him because all I've been doing is bitching and moaning. I hope these aren't repeats...

1. He is obsessed with singing "Happy Birthday". At 7:30 in the morning. Mostly he sings to one of his little friends at daycare. I told him Haze's birthday is in May (29th), as well as my father's, and of course the new baby's, so he's been throwing them in every once in a while too. It's so funny though. He'll randomly start singing at the top of his lungs and punctuate the "to whoever" with a big pointed finger.

2. He's also been singing Ten Little Monkeys. It's on one of his CDs. I played it for him once and did the doctor bit shaking my finger. And he did it back to me and it was cute. The next morning when he got up I could hear through the monitor that he turned the CD player on, found the song and played it. And he shouted "No more monkeys jump up down!" Hilarious. He even figured out how to play it again.

3. Last Sunday he wants to watch TV, I need to make dinner and say no. He takes the remote, climbs on the couch, turns the TV on (correctly--he used the right button to turn both the TV and cable box on) and watches a basketball game. No shirt on. I walked back and forth from the kitchen while making dinner and while in the kitchen I could hear him saying "Oh no!" and "Oh-Oh-Oh!" so it must have been one hell of a game. Yesterday I'm on the couch and he climbs up, takes the remote, turns the TV on, watches the traffic report and the weather, says okay, stop, and turns the TV off and climbs down to play with his toys. Friggin' hilarious.

I really can't wait until I can move around again and we can get away from the damn TV though. Vader heard something or saw something about 1/3 of all kids having TVs in their rooms. Young kids, not teenagers. And the reason was so the parents could watch what they wanted to watch out in the living room, so these young kids are watching TV alone. I wonder out of the 1/3 how many of these kids are obese too? It's just so sad. I didn't have a TV in my room until I went to college. And my kids won't either. I'm not a big fan of the TV as babysitter habit.

I've decided to stop moping and just accept the fact that I can't do anything right now. So I'm just going to lay on the couch, be online, read books, eat, and nap. I don't care if the house is a mess. This is my resting time so I might as well frickin rest. I've always wanted to do nothing and here's my opportunity. I do wish these damn dogs could be trusted to bring my food to me though. That would be sweet.

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

I can't think of a snazzy title

Not that any of my titles are ever snazzy.

Since being home I have settled into a nice little routine. I get up around 8-8:30 when Vader and SkyWalker leave. Eat breakfast, drink my tea, get online. Around 10ish I get in the shower (sooner than that and I will vomit). Then at 11:30ish I have my first snack--waffles and orange juice. I have lunch at 1ish, my second snack at 3:30 and then the boys are home at 5:45-6. In between the eating I am online all frickin day long. But I'm not watching a lot of TV (during the day at least) so that's good. And being online is kind of like my lifeline--if I can't make it to the phone at least I've got the laptop in front of me and can type "call 9-1-1!".

I had a nice little cluster of contractions yesterday that actually made me start counting, but in retrospect I know they were just braxton hicks. I haven't had any with any kind of regularity yet. I'm pretty sure I did have an all-out contraction yesterday evening, it felt different than the BH and I felt it in my entire abdomen not just the tightness at the top or the light menstrual cramp feelings I've been getting. But it was only one.

My house was organized and straightened up last week and now it is a mess. Sigh. I just don't have the energy to do anything about it. I know that's not why I'm home, but it's still just sucky.

The dogs are outside laying on the deck and I should really go out with them but that would involve putting shorts on. I think I could get away with sitting out there in my underwear but what if we get a delivery? I should have shorts on.

I watched Lost this morning. I liked it. I'm at the point where I would like to see some damn answers and see how they're going to end this damn show. But it was a good episode. Veronica Mars was okay the other night. Paul Rudd was excellent and made it worth watching. But without an overall story arc VM just isn't the same, Granted it's got to be a good arc... And Heroes has totally sucked me in. From what I hear there will be an actual resolution to the storyline. Unlike Lost that has you saying "What the hell?" from year to year. I'm also watching that Notes From the Underbelly show--all about pregnancy and babies. It's funnier than I thought it would be, but I think it has a limited audience--basically pregnant women and moms.

Blah blah blah. I am boring myself.

I have some funny SkyWalker stories that I will share next time because I'm just not in the mood right now.

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Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Still here

I had a lovely day yesterday with BF, first without children and then with. And today has been just wonderful. For most of the day I have been sitting outside in the hot sun. The temp is now 77, but alas I am inside so the poor laptop could get charged and not overheat outside. And so I could have snack #2 (a klondike bar today).

I've had a less productive day than I would have liked because of the glorious sunny weather, but I supposed I am entitled. I am supposed to be relaxing and not stressing myself out and taking it easy. I do have a load of laundry going right now, but I really wanted to clean out the junk drawer in the kitchen. You know, everyone has one. The drawer that you put all the crap in that just doesn't go anywhere else. But then it builds up and becomes impossible to even open? Yeah, that one.

I have an OB appt tomorrow and hopefully they will be able to give me some information. A ballpark timeframe would be nice. You know, besides sometime in the next 3 weeks. Yeah, I know that already.

I'm not wearing any shorts. This amuses me.

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Monday, May 7, 2007

37 weeks

I am still pregnant.

I am really ready not to be.

It is in the 70s and sunny and beautiful and if I had a hammock I would lay in the sun. But I don't have a hammock. I should buy one today so when it is 80 tomorrow I can lay in the sun all day and listen the f'ing guinea hen and the dogs barking.

yeah, that's all I got.

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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

First day

Today is my first day at home having acquired a doctor's note saying I should not work anymore. It feels very odd to be at home and not really be sick-sick. Sure, it hurts to walk, I'm having irregular contractions and still putting drops in my eyes, but I don't have a fever or a cold.

I've started laundry, run the dishwasher, straightened up the kitchen (again), moved the winter coats to the attic, worked on my scrapbook. But I've also eaten a few times and just sat on the couch chatting online. I think that's the difference. I can get up and do stuff but as long as I keep getting off my feet and resting I'll be okay. And doing one load of laundry is so much easier than 5 on the weekend.

The only annoying thing has been the damn guinea hen and it's ridiculously loud noises that keep making the dogs bark. At least I can mostly ignore them and not have to jump up to make sure that SkyWalker is not running to the door to see what they are barking at. I wonder if it's suicidal. They mate for life and one of the pair got killed last year (hit by a car I think) so there's just one that keeps coming over here. The other day it was walking on top of the fence. The fence for the dogs' yard. It's in for quite a surprise if it falls in there. But maybe that's what it wants.

I am eating cheese doodles and drinking milk and sitting on the couch reading my e-mail and chatting online using my wireless laptop.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

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