Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Here we go again

I have tried to remain positive and optimistic. My baby is having surgery again but at least she has surgery available to her--she doesn't have a fatal disease. This will all be over and she will live a normal life. My husband's job is in jeopardy once again but I am trying to have faith that it will all work out as it has before. 

But this is just too much.

Isaac came in last night limping. He could barely make it up the stairs. I hoped it was just the cold and maybe he had jumped up too quickly. It hasn't gotten any better. Here's the kicker--it's his OTHER leg. Back in August 2007 Isaac had surgery for a torn ACL. They told us there was a good chance it would happen to his other leg too. I will bet anything that this is what it is. We're taking him to the vet on Saturday and then we'd have to take him to the specialist again and he'd have to have another surgery. Which would involve him being in the crate and confined to a leash for 2-3 months. 

So, right now I am 14 1/2 weeks pregnant and taking medication so I don't throw up but even with the medication I still sometimes throw up especially when I do too much like try to vacuum. SO, let's say Isaac gets his surgery in January. Who's home all day to take him out on the leash? Me. He'll be confined to the crate until March? Maybe. What's in March? The Princess's surgery. So I will go from taking care of Isaac to taking care of the Princess. By March I will be 5-6 months pregnant. 

And I'm not even getting into the financial ramifications of having to pay for another surgery. Let's hope Vader doesn't lose his job.

I have way too many posts tagged surgery. 

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Monday, December 29, 2008


I don't know what to do with myself. 

Vader took some time off from work (shocking!) so he's been home since Christmas. It has been lovely, although noisy. I have been sleeping late and napping a lot. I took my meds last night instead of this morning because I did NOT want to nap again today. So I'm not. The Princess is sleeping and Vader and SkyWalker are downstairs bowling and I don't know what to do with myself. I made all the phone calls I had  to do today. I folded the laundry and started another load. The dishwasher is running. I'm sure there is something productive I can do but instead I am wasting time on the internets because I can. 

Christmas was good. Vader was very impressed with "Santa", aka, me, and the lack of presents under the tree. I got a lot of small stuff from the dollar spot at Target. SkyWalker is so happy to get anything that he really didn't notice. He was just as thrilled with the long johns as with the firetruck... The Princess nearly jumped up and down waiting for me to open up her baby doll box. I felt a little bad that underneath the tree looked so empty, but they didn't notice and when you're planning on 4 kids you really have to think about tomorrow as much as today. We won't be able to keep up with crazy Christmases... so it's better not to start. Anyway, all that worry was for naught because I think they got more the next day from my family than they did from Santa! SkyWalker got another bowling set and he was just as happy as he was on Christmas. And it's actually perfect because he sets both up next to each other and he and Daddy pretend they are at a bowling alley and bowl at the same time. He also got two Cranky the Cranes and before I could grab the second one to return/exchange it, he had the box opened and it was too late. But he likes having two. The Princess got a second baby doll and now has her hands full. She's carrying both around now and it's adorable. She now has her own guitar and takes "lessons" with her brother from Daddy at bedtime. I think she will be the one to actually do it. 

Also adorable--she has started saying Mommy. She's said "mama" for a while now, usually while crying, but she just started saying "Mommy!" the other day. When she's looking for me or she wakes up from her nap or if I heaven forbid close my eyes she will come up and yell "Mom-MY!". The first "mama" is always special and nice, but there's something about Mommy that's just so much more... until it's 4 years later and you're hearing it every 2 seconds. 

At dinner the other night she pointed at Daddy and said "Daddy", pointed at me and said "Mommy", and pointed at SkyWalker and said "brother". It was so cute. She has finally said his name but seems to prefer calling him brother. I'm trying to get her to say her own name but I'm not quite sure she's doing it. 

I am still taking the promethazone... and still throwing up every once in a while. I guess I just have to take it easy no matter what and hope it passes soon. Every once in a while is much better than 2-3 times a day. I am beyond tired and looking forward to being really pregnant. I hate the beginning stages. Besides the vomiting, I hate not really feeling pregnant. Not being big, not feeling movement. Although I have felt the um, I don't know what you'd call it, the whole baby sac since the beginning (the benefits of being thin), I don't feel right until I can feel the actual baby moving. I still haven't heard the heartbeat. It doesn't feel real yet. 

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Clever titles elude me. Once again.

I have spent the entire day on the phone. I do not LIKE being on the phone. Gah. I had to call the SOBs that gave me a defective laptop battery so I can get a new one sent to me. For some reason I decided to call the school to see when I have to do the kindergarten registration forms... oh, Dec.1! Gah. It's not like they won't accept him, but maaaan. I almost had to call his doc to get the fax number so I could fax the health forms but I found that online. I had to call the pharmacy because they printed up the wrong label on the amoxicillin last night so it went from 26 refills to 1. Um, no. Yesterday I had to call about refinancing our mortgage and learned that the interest rate went up from Sunday to Monday. I had to call about a $438 bill for the Princess's deflux procedure that didn't even work. Luckily that was just a mistake and we owe nothing. 

I am sick of being on the phone. If I can't do it online I don't want to do it. 

I discovered something about the Princess's naps. She seems to be waking up half way through, but as long as I ignore her and we stay relatively quiet she will go back to sleep. Which is good because she needs it. 

My husband was supposed to get her a guitar last night when he went shopping. They only had one. And it wasn't girlie enough for him so he didn't get it. I would like to slap him. It was a last minute idea for her for Christmas... I feel like I didn't quite get enough for her. We didn't get SkyWalker his guitar until he was 2, but the Princess plays his more than he does! She sits on the chair and is actually serious about it. When she does that then he gets interested in it and wants to play it. So I thought hmmm, let's get her one for herself... We still will but it would have been nice for Christmas!

My son is being incredibly cute today. He's been in time out and we've had our fair share of disobedience and arguing, but he's being really cute right now. He's got a bit of a cold again, but he said "I can still get presents, I'm not really sick, I'm just a little bit sick." Apparently really sick kids wouldn't get presents.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

The cat's out of the bag

which is what happens when you accidentally wear maternity pants to the library that you aren't even supposed to be going to but preschool was closed and your kid was disappointed and you said "Hey, let's go to the library!" even though your sweater is too short to cover your pants that you only wore because your non-maternity loose pants were in the laundry. Oh, and when you have nosy co-workers who catch you.


12 1/2 weeks. June 26. You'll know the gender in June when it comes out. You'll know the name, well, you won't, unless you know me in real life, in June. Otherwise you're out of luck. I'm feeling better now that I am medicated. It has not been easy.

And there ya go.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008


When I worked full time I had lunch at 1, picked SkyWalker up at 4:45ish and was home by 5:15/5:30. I had just enough time to start dinner before Vader got home at 6. He used to get home at 5:45 and I'm not sure what happened to make it 6. Whatever. Sometimes we didn't eat until after 6 but it was fine.

Now that I am home this is just ridiculous! We have lunch anywhere between 11:30 and 12:30 depending on preschool. By 5 we're hungry. Even with a snack. We're hungry. I've laid out a simple dinner tonight since I have to leave at 6:30. It is now 5:30 and I am blogging because I have to wait for it to be close enough to 6 before I start cooking. It's not like Vader works that far away. He doesn't have much of a commute. He just always leaves late. It doesn't matter if he's gotten to work wicked early or on time or late. He still stays until 5:30 every day. (except Thursday because I work). 

Have I mentioned that I am hungry? I'm starting to think the kids and I should just have dinner on our own every night and forget about him. 

Last night I made turkey meatloaf and thought I was screwing it up but it actually turned out pretty good. I gave Skywalker a sliver of it and the carrots and green beans and mashed potatoes that went along with it. He said he didn't like any of it and pushed his plate away. We didn't say anything. He would up eating the carrots because he can't resist carrot math (he counts them and then says "What happens if I take one away/minus one/eat one?" and then counts again until he's eaten them all). He did not try the meatloaf or the mashed potatoes or the green beans that he used to like. His sister ate his meat loaf and his green beans. There was no crying, no drama. Mostly I think because he had had 2 PBJ sandwiches for lunch. On Sunday when it was really bad he had NO lunch because his father gave him orzo with diced tomatoes mixed in. Now, I love tomatoes and I don't like the diced tomatoes in the jar that he gets. SkyWalker has never liked any kind of tomatoes. He did try a grape tomato yesterday (yay!) but didn't like it. Anyway, so naturally he did not eat the orzo & diced tomatoes and was really hungry by dinner but not hungry enough to try the stew I made. Just hungry enough to cry and scream about it. I think I'll keep letting him have control over breakfast and lunch (within the choices I give him) and make sure he's got some food in him and then use dinner time as the try new things time. He won't starve and hopefully if we don't make a big deal out of it and call attention to his whining and crying, then maybe he'll stop whining and crying.

Crikey, I'm hungry.

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Why I suck

I suck as a traditional mom. Why? I can't knit/crochet. I really can't cook very well. I'm not all that crafty. But more importantly--I don't bake. I can bake things if it comes in a box with instructions to "add eggs and milk". That's about it. But today, today, dear reader, I have sunk to a new low. 

I am going to a cookie exchange tonight. I wasn't going to bring any cookies because the last few weeks have been really tough for me and the hostess took pity and exempted me. But I felt guilty. 

So right now I am "baking" 6 dozen cookies. 6 dozen ready-to-bake cookies, that is. I am simply taking them from their package and sticking them in the oven. Sigh. That's better than being empty-handed though right? I mean, they're still cookies. And they're still baked. They're just not from scratch--which I probably wouldn't have done anyway. I would have just gotten the damn dough anyway. So really this is just an extension of my already lazy baking habits. 


But, my kid knows who was the first President of the United States.

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Monday, December 15, 2008


I know I've talked about being a picky eater before and how I really just don't think about food the way other people do. There are some foods that I like, but I don't daydream about them. Food is a tool of survival and that's it. I try not to assign any emotional value to it and I've tried hard to pass that to my own children as well. I don't reward them with food, I don't bribe them with food. We try to eat as healthy as we can and avoid desserts and candy/cookies/sweets. Lately instead of having goldfish in my diaper bag I've had carrots and both of my children beg for carrots when we're out (the Princess's shirt was covered with carrot stains at the library today). 

My son has taken my pickiness and brought it to a whole new level. I know it's payback for what I did to my mother. Whatever. He will refuse to eat food that he LIKES because it's presented in a different way or a different form. He likes macaroni and cheese. But he refuses melted cheese on anything else. He likes chicken nuggets but not any other kind of chicken. And lately he's been refusing nuggets at home and claiming he only likes Burger King chicken nuggets (our one weakness--Burger King). He refuses to try anything new. I've tried to explain to him that if *I'm* cooking it and able to eat it then he should be too... I even tried chicken nuggets and fish sticks to show him that I can try things. He remains stubborn. Which leads me to my dilemma. 

I understand being picky and not wanting to eat anything different. I feel for him. I really really do. I can't just go to a restaurant and be sure that I can eat what they have. I can't just go to a friend's house for dinner. I understand him.


I can't make different meals for all of us. I don't enjoy cooking to begin with and when I have to make alternatives for him it's just a pain in the ass. Once he is old enough to take care of himself I don't care what the hell he eats if he doesn't like what I make. But for now I really don't want to be treated like a restaurant with him ordering something different off the menu. If I'm making something that I know he's tried and really doesn't like I will have another option for him. But if it's something normal that he should like and refuses to even try then I don't make him anything else. Which leads to...

crying. Crying and whining at the dinner table. It's mostly at dinner because I let him choose his breakfast and his lunch. But at dinner I would like us to eat the same meal. So I'm left with him crying and being upset. Crying over FOOD. I've told him that food is never a reason to cry and if he doesn't want to eat his dinner he doesn't have to. He just has to sit with us and not cry over it. I try to ignore the whining and sometimes he will actually stop and take a bite or two. 

So I'm left with this. Either I just let him choose what he wants to eat, or I try to stay in control and risk him developing an emotional association with food. And I know that half of you reading this think that I'm crazy and if he wants a bowl of fruit loops for dinner (no, we don't have that in the house) I should give it to him. But he's got ancestors with weight problems and I'm trying to start him out on the right path. I say him, because the Princess is no problem whatsoever. She eats anything and everything. She tries it all. She loves vegetables and eats a healthy diet. I will probably just have to make sure I get her into sports when she's old enough. And while I know that ultimately he will have to make his own food choices when he's older, I want to give him the right tools now.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008


SkyWalker said perhaps the funniest thing I have ever heard him say while having a tantrum: 

"But I HAVE to check my e-mail!!!" 

while crying and screaming because Daddy said it was bedtime and he had to go upstairs and be done with the laptop,  where he was in fact checking his e-mail.

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The jedi

SkyWalker insisted that the Princess sit next to him during lunch today (instead of across from him) because "I love her". He claimed that he would take care of her, i.e., make sure she didn't drop anything. Then he said "If it's clean, I can touch it. If it's not clean YOU can touch it." I'm assuming he meant her cup or whatever else she might throw. Then he asked me to cut his peanut butter and jelly sandwich into triangles because he wasn't doing very well. He told me to "do the best you can." Thanks dude.

Sometimes he is so damn funny. The past few days they seem to alternate between being really funny and cute and being really annoying. Often it's at the same time as well. They're just so cute TOGETHER, even when they're being mischievious and getting into trouble. The other night I was telling the both of them they had to clean up before bedtime. The Princess had made a lot of the mess and I was telling her what she had to do, when SkyWalker claimed it was NOT clean up time but it was still playtime. I said "No, it's clean up time and if you don't clean up I'm going to put you in time out." The Princess, who was NOT being spoken to, walked away from me and headed into the living room and put HERSELF in time out. Apparently she didn't want to clean up either. It was hilarious. SkyWalker joined her and then time out was tickle and giggle time. I've put her in time out before (for pulling plugs and whatnot) but this was the first time she got there herself and sat right down and stayed there. They did wind up cleaning up.

Can someone tell me why my son eats his coat and his shirts? He didn't put crap in his mouth until his sister came along... toys are one thing, but he's ruining his shirts and his coat is just disgusting. I just washed it but I can't keep doing that. I'm tempted to let him chew gum, but I really don't want to go there and even if he didn't swallow it I'm sure his sister would get her hands on some and swallow it. Of course as I type this I keep putting my own damn fingers in my mouth. Apples and trees, I guess. But I could deal with his fingers. His clothing is just freakin' weird. 

Another funny thing he's been saying: "I'm gonna kick Daddy in the head." Just out of the blue. Of course I tell him it's not very nice, but it's pretty funny. I know how you feel Dude. 

The Princess has been saying: "glasses", "BABY"--whenever she sees a doll anywhere, "more", "please", and her body parts. Oh and "buddy" for her teething blanket thing with the bear head that I call her sleeping buddy or bedtime buddy. She's become quite attached to that and pulls it through the slats on the crib so she can walk around with it. The other night Vader was showing her the map and telling her countries and she repeated "Australia." I kid you not. I'm not sure if she could tell you where it is, like SkyWalker could, but she can say it.  

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Monday, December 8, 2008

Buffy Season 8

How did I not know this was out already? 

I thought I had just checked. It was probably 6 months ago. Maybe someone's looking for a gift idea for me.... hmmm..... 

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Friday, December 5, 2008

Ureters, Reflux and Surgeries. Oh my.

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with the Princess I had a level 2 ultrasound to check my placenta because of the minor abruption I had with SkyWalker. The placenta was okay. The Princess's right kidney was not. That was in January 2007, nearly 2 years ago, and that is how long we have been dealing with this. 

In October of 2007, at a mere 5 months old, the Princess had her first surgery. The plan was to take her "bad" ureter on the right side and hook it up to the good one (you're only supposed to have one anyway!). When they got inside the bad one was so kinked up that they couldn't do it. So they took both ureters and detached them and then reattached them right next to each other on the bladder. Her follow up ultrasound looked great, but she didn't have a VCUG because she hadn't had reflux to begin with... and then she got her UTI in April 08 and in June she had the VCUG and lo and behold there was reflux. In Sept, nearly a year after her first surgery, she had the deflux procedure done to correct the reflux. Today she had another ultrasound and VCUG. 

It didn't work.

The bad ureter is just so bad that the deflux didn't even make a dent. So in March 09 they will take the bad ureter and hook it up to the good one. Yeah, you read that right. She's grown so much that the ureter has stretched and unkinked itself and they are confident that they can do it this time and then that will be it, it will be fixed. At that point she will be just under 2 years old and she will have her 3rd surgery. 

Good. Friggin. Times.

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

A bunch of nothings

Muppets from Space is a funny movie but I don't think SkyWalker is really getting it. Too much plot, I guess. 

After a few days of being home and having my buttons pushed we went to a playdate at the library this morning. It was SO nice to be able to just play in the storytime room and not have to worry about chasing the kids. As an added bonus we went to lunch--at our favorite place--with friends this time--and I had the best burger I have had in eons. The kids were fine, spilling milk and being loud, and we were able to have real adult conversations. In bits and pieces of course, but you get my point. It was divine. 

Why is Pacey in this movie? And um, what was Katie Holm's on Dawson's Creek? I can't remember her name. Crikey.  I could look it up but that's not as much fun as torturing myself. 

The Princess has her ultrasound/VCUG tomorrow morning. Hopefully I will be posting that she is reflux-free and will be off the amox in a few months. I'm sure they'll keep her on it a little longer just to be safe. When she first started it (the day she was born) it used to bug me how much I had to get rid of after the 2 weeks were up. Regardless of how much is left over you have to get rid of it after 2 weeks and get a new bottle. It would be mostly full. Now? It bugs me even more because we have just enough for 2 weeks. There's a big difference between the dose for a 7 pound baby and a 23 pound toddler. She has been on it *that* long, not counting her brief few month hiatus after her first surgery. 

Yes, I changed the name at the top of this blog. Not the address, just the name. As much as Miss Bagel disagrees with me, I'm just not the goddesslibrarian anymore. There was a time when I kicked ass in this profession but that time was long ago.

Whenever I type anything SkyWalker always asks me if I'm typing "a bunch of nothings." I believe I told him that once A YEAR AGO. And he won't let it go. Sadly though, he's usually right.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Thanksgiving was good. It was nice being with my family and letting them share the jedi. It's always easier when there are so many people you can pass them off too. I couldn't make ferry reservations for the way home when I made the original reservations and then I just forgot about it until the day before we left. At which point all the possible ferry times we would have chosen were booked. So we drove around and it sucked. We left at 10 and didn't get home until 5. We did stop for an hour for lunch and had to stop again for SkyWalker to pee, but for the most part it was just traffic. 

SkyWalker has his "I've been away from home" cold. Just snot and coughing. He's upstairs in his room now, presumably napping. 

The Princess had her 18 month check up yesterday. I had to fill out a questionnaire... which was was weird because I hadn't seen one of those since SkyWalker was in daycare. And I wasn't the one who filled it out then! She scored really well on her gross motor and fine motor and most everything. There were a couple of weird problem solving questions-- if you put a cheerio in a bottle does your child try to get it out. I don't know. I try not to put cheerios in bottles. She is 23 pounds, 4 ounces and 32 inches long. To put that into perspective, SkyWalker is 32 pounds and 39 inches long. If he doesn't start eating his meat and vegetables his baby sister is going to be bigger than he is! 

I saw so many christmas trees on the cars when we came back on Sunday. I just have to laugh. I don't see the point in putting up the tree on December 1... by December 25 it's got to be half-dead. I would wait until Christmas Eve like my parents always did, but you can't do that anymore because of all of the people who get theirs on Thanksgiving. The latest we can go is the weekend before. We don't decorate it until Christmas Eve though. And then the first time the kids see it all lit up and magical is Christmas morning. We should plant our own so we can wait. That would be cool. 

I'm coveting the iPhone again. But I don't really use my cell phone. I have the pay as you go one, and I put $100 last January. I have roughly $60 left. And that's because whenever I can I get online with it just to spend some money! I did that during the car ride and it was sucky, but at least it cost me a couple of bucks. I think what I would rather have is the iTouch. Because really all I want is an iPod that will stay charged over night and something that will get me on the internets and be pretty not texty. Sadly though, even though I think nothing of buying Vader an iPod, or two, I won't spend that kind of money on myself. Not now. Even with my iPod being all wacky. Damn my responsibility. I could have asked for one for Christmas instead of the treadmill, but once again there's that frickin' responsibility thing.

My house is a mess. The kitchen smells. I still haven't taken pictures of the painted walls. Maybe next summer. 

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Insane in the membrane

Insane in the brain. 


In a fit of insanity I decided to take the jedi to Denny's for lunch. I've been wanting to go to Denny's but I didn't feel right going without SkyWalker when he's in preschool. So after his preschool Thanksgiving "feast" which consisted of popcorn and some fruit, we went to Denny's. We didn't leave preschool until 12 so I knew I was pushing it, but the Princess is always so good when we go out... as long as there is food, she is happy. SkyWalker was excited to go and told me how to get there in case I forget. "remember Mommy, it's on the same road as Wal-Mart and Target and the orange Home Depot. Daddy goes there. I do too. But not you, or [the Princess]." 

We got inside and sat down and much like the Anchorman in the bear pit I said  "I immediately regret this decision!". The Princess did not want to get into her booster seat because she wanted to clip the belt straps. Why? I don't know. I distracted her with something, I don't remember what, probably dangerous, and I finally got her in the seat and strapped in. We ordered. The Princess ate crayons and mocked me. Shaking her head and saying "No" very softly much like I do to her. After 3 years or so the food came. SkyWalker got mac and cheese and grapes and the Princess got the little dipper sampler--chicken nuggets, mozz sticks, and fries. (I had a club sandwich if you really need to know). SkyWalker gave his grapes to his sister. And proving that he is the best brother ever he gave her half of his mac and cheese because that is ALL she wanted. Usually she wants a little bit of what everyone is having but she will eat everything on her plate. Not this time. She nibbled her food, but she very loudly asked for the mac and cheese. I thought that they would share so it would all work out, but SkyWalker didn't want any nuggets or fries (!) so he just gave up spoonfuls of his mac and cheese (on his own, no less). 

They were actually both well-behaved, but it's just a pain in the neck when you have two. Going potty, getting all of our stuff together, keeping an eye on both of them. It's just a pain. Which is why I don't do it often and will probably not do it again for a long long time. 

In good news--SkyWalker pooped before preschool this morning and when I told him that it was great that he got that out of the way so early he said "yes, I didn't want to hold it in. I like pooping now. It's not hard anymore." Yay laxative. I actually didn't even give it to him yesterday. I've been tapering off and trying to do every other day. With the holidays coming up he could easily have a relapse though so I'm not cutting him off until I know for sure he's done with that holding crap. 

The Princess pooped on the potty THREE times on Saturday. Her sticker chart is almost full. She peed at the library today. When I say "Do you want to sit on the potty?" she usually runs for it. It would be SO nice to have her trained early. And easy. After all the nonsense with her brother... 

I need to fold laundry and wash dishes and straighten up the kitchen and I have no desire to do anything. Oh and pay bills too. Crap on a stick. I need an assistant. And a shower, but that's another post.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008


I've been allowing my son to play in the office by himself (or with his sister). I accept the sacrifice of balls and cars everywhere and even marker on their little faces. I had ONE rule. Do not go in the basement. I heard him in there the other day and I explained that there are mouse traps he or his sister could hurt themselves with and any number of inappropriate things. Our office is in the finished part of the basement, separated from the unfinished part by a door.

Today as I was getting ready to come to work I heard the door open and a little voice say "Come here Princess." I ran down there. The first thing I saw was a big wet spot at the bottom of the stairs. From my water bottle... which was in my diaper bag.. which was on the floor down there when it was supposed to be in the living room. Open. Fine, you say. So what? He didn't open the diaper part, he opened the front zipper part and took out all of the gum. They didn't know what the hell it was so they just unwrapped it ALL and left the pieces on the floor. The hand wipes and hand sanitizer on the floor. My SWISS ARMY KNIFE on the floor.

That's not all.

He shows me three little cars (disney CARS) I bought for Christmas. I said "ACK!" I grabbed them from him and went into the basement where the christmas gifts were hidden. In Target bags. He opened EVERYTHING. Tore things out of boxes. He knew they were presents even though they weren't wrapped. He opened his sister's stuff. I am so annoyed.

I don't expect him to be perfect. I'm annoyed that he opened the stuff, but I understand that. What I am most angry about is that I told him to stay out of the basement and he not only didn't do that, he brought his baby sister in there! He is no longer allowed to play in the office by himself. Which is going to suck ass since that's the only way I've gotten any peace lately. I will probably relent after an appropriate amount of time.

And now I have to figure out what the hell Santa is going to get him and his sister.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Finding my voice

I have been remiss in posting. I know. I've kind of lost my voice. But I think I found it again today. 

I am sitting on the couch in the office, using the laptop, with most of the lights off. Why are the lights off? I don't know. Ask my son. Why am I using the laptop? Because he was using the desktop to listen to Balls to the Wall and take funny pictures of himself. 

It is the end of November, we have been doing the preschool thing for a couple of months now. While he doesn't necessarily run in the door, he has stopped clinging to me when I drop him off. He enjoys his time there and I think he has started to play with other children. Last week the Princess and I witnessed him on the playground--in the sandbox with a couple of girls. They said something and he gave them his trademark tilted head big dimple smile and said "That's yucky. But some dogs eat poop." Later I asked him why he said that and he said the girls told him they were making "poop pie." 

He is still wearing pull-ups at night but seems to be dry in the morning. He's getting up by himself to pee but seems resistant to wearing underwear. I'm not pushing it. 

The Princess is still doing well on the potty. She pees and poops. She doesn't tell me when she has to go and if given the chance she will just as readily drop a deuce on her brother's carpet. But if I ask her if she pooped she puts her hand on her heiney and says "poo". I've started bringing the potty seat into the library when we're there Monday and Wednesday and she is just as eager to sit there as at home, so that's good. 

She's been participating more in storytime. It was getting so disheartening... she's always very well-behaved and sits nicely in my lap but knowing how she loves to dance and sing at home and then seeing her do nothing at storytime... well, it made me sad. But she's started to warm up and follow the directions. Of course this was the last week. 

She's saying A LOT of words. More than SkyWalker ever did. She not only points to her nose and face and mouth and head she tries to say them too. She says face really well, which is hilarious because her brother will say "pace" until you make fun of him and then he'll finally make the f-sound. At the library today we went over the alphabet and she tried to say almost each letter. And did pretty damn good too. She's so amazing. I know part of it is being a younger sibling and the fact that there hasn't been a moment of silence since she was born, but I think a lot of it is just her. She's just so different from her brother. 

While in some ways I regret not joining the Y when I had the chance, my friends are going to the classes together and that would have been great for me, I have loved every single minute I've had to spend with the Princess. I am completely and totally smitten with her. We go out for a bagel and cup of tea before storytime and it's just so relaxing and fun and not at all like it is with 2 children! If SkyWalker was in preschool all day long or every day then maybe I could share some of my time, but it's only 2 1/2 hours 3 days a week. And we've had a playgroup at the library on Mondays and storytime on Wednesdays and we usually shop/run errands on Fridays. 
Hopefully I will start getting my exercise soon. Vader told me he thought I deserved something special for Christmas this year, even though we had decided not to get each other anything. I finally asked for what I've always wanted--a treadmill. He has a stepper thing but I'm just not coordinated enough for that. I like walking. Simple, straightforward walking. Mind-numbing walking. And the kids can play in the office while I do it. They've been doing that anyway--every day they disappear and I hear them downstairs. SkyWalker plays music or movies on iTunes. The Princess laughs. Right now SkyWalker is playing a video from the summer before last, before he turned 3. It is AMAZING how much better he speaks. I can barely understand what he's saying on the video. I wouldn't be sure it was him, except that he's ... well... naked. 

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Sunday, November 9, 2008


When I got home from a long painful day at work yesterday I was greeted with 2 surprises: one, a car in my driveway and two, my daughter's hair is no longer in her eyes.

My MIL had arrived for the weekly lunch at 11:30 and was still there at 5:20 when I got home. When I get home from work I like to put my hair up, cuddle with my children, eat, and try to wash away the memories of the annoying smelly patrons who talk too much. I don't like to discover guests in my home. I really don't like to discover dinner guests! Luckily I had made baked ziti Friday night and Vader had it in the oven so I didn't have to make dinner on the spot. But that annoyed me even more--I had called at 4:50 to remind him to put the ziti in the oven. Could he have mentioned the fact that his mother was still there then? Apparently not. He didn't know she was staying for dinner until I got home. That is perhaps the stupidest thing he has ever said... how could you not know that? Who would stay that late and NOT expect dinner? If she wasn't staying wouldn't she have left when she usually does? After lunch??? Gah. So he got himself a free day... the Princess napped for nearly 3 hours and SkyWalker was with Grama the whole time. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the weekend when I have to work is knowing that he's getting a taste of my life...and getting the quality time he needs with his children... and knowing he was doing his own thing yesterday pisses me off even more.

The Princess has needed a haircut and we've discussed that. I did not expect to come home to her hair chopped off. Okay,  it's not all of her hair. He only did the front that was in her eyes, but he said that he didn't want to do it again in 3 weeks, so instead of stopping at her eyebrows and making it look okay he cut it higher.

It does not look good.

I mentioned this and the unevenness and that we would have to take her someplace professional and if she sat still for him it wouldn't be a problem. His fear is that she will get her eyes poked out or her ears cut off. Because he's so much better than a professional at preventing that... sigh. You know what's going to happen right? I'm going to go home today and her hair will be even shorter in the front because he will try to even it out. Right before our Thanksgiving picture. Right before our Christmas card picture. It's only hair and it will grow back. And when it does I will take her to someone who understands the difference between girls' hair and boys' hair.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008


I drove to work in the dark today. I hate doing that. It makes it seem so late and just so *wrong*. I should be home snuggling with someone.

We met friends at the State Museum today and it was just we needed. The kids seemed happy to just walk around be pushed around while we moms chatted. We rode the carousel and lunched at Subway and despite the fact that my daughter spilled milk all over herself (my fault) or my son needing to go to the bathroom on the first floor AFTER we had just left the bathroom on the 4th floor, it was a lovely time. It's stressful taking children out especially two of them--my husband would never do it--but it's worth it.

A couple of weeks ago we were using the iChatting with my brother and his wife and he started doing funny things with his video--distorting his face and then riding roller coasters and things like that. SkyWalker was beside himself laughing so much. We've had to call up at least once so he could do it again. Then I discovered that we could do it ourselves with Photo Booth. This has been the greatest thing since cheese doodles. SkyWalker has taken OVER 100 pictures of himself with distorted faces or different backgrounds. He cannot get enough of it. It *is* pretty funny. The Princess even gets into it and laughs with her brother at all the funny faces they can make.

Speaking of cheese doodles, I have procurred some white cheddar cheese doodles. These are indeed the greatest things since, well, cheese doodles.

The bigwigs are on their way to vote for our new head honcho here at the library. I wonder if "will screw the staff the most" was one of the criteria. We shall see....

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Catching up

I feel like the last week and a half have just flown by. The painting took nearly a week but is finally done. I wound up having an allergy attack to the paint fumes--my throat hurt so bad it felt like it was closing up. It's better now but I keep having coughing fits. My house is still a wreck. I got the kitchen mostly organized last night but I can't move big furniture and the living room is just in shambles. I love how everything turned out. My husband doesn't quite like the kitchen, which means I made the right choice. I hope to have pictures soon. 

I don't have many pictures from Halloween either. SkyWalker was not very cooperative. The Princess had a good time as a cat burglar and seemed to enjoy the idea of people giving her candy. That Mommy got to eat later.

The weather has gotten to me. I am lacking in energy or motivation to do anything. I seriously considered wearing sweatpants to storytime today. I am feeling my hibernating instinct very strongly. Unfortunately I have to work this weekend so no hibernating for me. 

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Roller coasters

This Monday started off better than the last one. I got my lazy ass out of bed at 7 and was in the closet getting dressed when SkyWalker came in. Unfortunately he did not get himself dressed which is what I've been telling him to do. But he was still sleepy enough that he was compliant and we went upstairs and got dressed without incident. He had a little bit of play time and we left only slightly later than I had wanted to. Unfortunately when we got to preschool I couldn't leave because it was my day to be the parent volunteer. Oh. Joy. We brought in corn muffins and apple juice for snack. The Princess did everything the big kids did, except for listening and sitting quietly. Other than that she painted, drew with markers, did puzzles, played with the kitchen set and out on the playground. SkyWalker did not play with one single kid inside the classroom. His teacher said he never does. But she said he does talk to them and interact, he just doesn't do cooperative play. But then out on the playground he ran around with a hula hoop chasing the "bad guys" and shouting and playing with the kids. The teacher said it was a first. I only hope that he's okay on Wednesday when I'm not there. 

We had an okay day after that, including riding a virtual roller coaster with Uncle Rye-rye, and then it all went to hell after dinner. He refused to listen to one single thing I said! I threatened to take his beloved bike away--his inside bike that he rides everywhere--he said "take my bike away." I said "no books before bed." No biggie. We all went upstairs and I brushed his teeth for him and wound up throwing his pajamas on the floor and telling him he could sleep naked for all I cared. I shut his light out and put the Princess to sleep and he put his pajamas on. She SCREAMED at the top of her lungs. I still don't know why. He went to bed. Got up. I hear "Mommy. See my poopy." So I had to go up there to congratulate him on his poopy (I have no choice with that) and as I'm up there the Princess starts screaming again. I pick her up, she points, I bring her to the bathroom, she smiles at herself in the mirror. I bring her back to her room, she points, I put her on the changing table, she has nothing. I put her back down, turn her clock radio off and she turns it back on and lays down fine. What the dilly-o?

I have the kitchen organized and cleaned and that's all I'm doing tonight. I'll need to get the bathrooms done tomorrow. The wallpaper removal guy/painter is coming on Wednesday. I have no idea where he's starting but I should at least try to clean the damn toilets. 

I think, yes, it is. My daughter is listening to Pantera now. Classic. My son likes the Beastie Boys but she seems to like the heavier stuff. Excellent.

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Friday, October 24, 2008

The need for clothes

There is a love affair in this house that makes me sick. Sick, I tell you! It's not the way SkyWalker always gets a snack for the Princess when he's illegally getting one for himself. It's not the way he kisses her when he sees her in the morning or when we pick him up from preschool. It's not the way he says "Hi Miss Lady" and hugs her and tickles her. It's not the way he reads to her in the morning when he sneaks into her room/crib and teaches her how to say things. No. It's the way he TAKES HER DIAPER OFF and chases her so he can kiss her HEINEY! 

Tonight was just beyond belief though. Vader had promised dinner so I was in the kitchen straightening up and well, facebooking, and the children were playing. Next thing I hear is a closed door. I open my bedroom door and I think I need to see a shrink now... and there they were, both naked from the waist down, jumping on my bed. Rolling around my bed. Wrestling on my bed. With the lights off. I was told to GET OUT and TURN THE LIGHT OFF! I put a pull-up on the Princess quickly and made SkyWalker out his underwear on and then... I got out. 

Now, I am not a fashion person. I don't like shopping all that much. I tend to wear the same clothes over and over until my mother and/or siblings buy me something new. BUT. I wear clothes! I like clothes. They make me warm. They cover my girlie bits. So, why? Why, do my children not like to wear clothes? What is so appealing about being naked? It's too damn cold. 

I have to wrestle the both of them to get them dressed now. The little one is just as bad as her brother. It's a constant struggle. Every single morning we fight, even when we promise not to. Perhaps I should send SkyWalker to preschool naked. Maybe he'll get dressed then. I almost miss the days he peed the bed and got himself dressed in the morning because of it. Almost. I know what I need to do is get MY ass out of bed earlier so I can get him out of bed earlier and get him dressed when he is too tired to fight and then give him the play time that he's always fighting for. He can get himself dressed but he usually needs pushing to do it. And lately he's been sleeping later and so have I. It would be nice if I could have someone else nagging him in the morning but I just don't know who would be able to do it. *insert eyeroll here*

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Jekyll and Hyde

My son was a whiny piece of crap this morning. We fought getting dressed, we fought brushing teeth, we fought getting out the door, we fought over the storytime craft, we fought over lunch. And then, while I was changing the Princess's stinkalicious poopy diaper, I heard "Come see my poopy!!". I put her down for a nap and ran downstairs and SkyWalker had done another huge poop. He had spiked apple juice this morning and spiked PBJ for lunch. Someone normal would probably have diarrhea, but he doesn't. He did have a rather loose one yesterday--in his underwear because he was trying to hold it in (so bad I had to throw them out). And once he pooped--even though he hadn't expressed any difficulty this morning--he was a changed boy. Completely and totally changed. Happy, smiling, singing, kissing me and telling me he loves me. 

He does this a lot. 

I think moms get a bad rap for being bi-polar. Really it's our rotten unbalanced children who scream and cry over not being able to have a piece of bread before lunch--which consists of FRIGGIN BREAD--and then tell you how much they love you and want to cuddle you. It can drive a person nutty!

By the time I am done with all this birthing of babies I am going to be completely and totally crazy. I will probably wear old bathrobes with holes in them--to storytime--and wash my hair once a month instead of the every other day--or so--that I do now.

Good times my friends. Good times.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

I hate Mondays

I hate Mondays. 

I'm not in school anymore. I don't work full time anymore. But still I hate Mondays. Vader goes back to work and even though he's usually so busy on the weekends, it's nice having him around. He spent all morning with SkyWalker yesterday and then SkyWalker went outside with him later in the afternoon and helped him dig holes. It was nice. But Mondays he goes back to work and we go back to being by ourselves. All day. Vader goes food shopping after work so he doesn't get home until very late. Which means we have dinner by ourselves, I have to feed the dogs (he usually does), and get the kids to bed by myself. They often go to bed early because after 12 hours we're fighting and they're misbehaving and get sent to bed early. But really, the reason I hate Mondays most of all is because the dogs don't SHUT THE HELL UP. As soon as it gets close to the time when Vader would normally be getting home they start expecting him. And barking. But he doesn't come home, so then they go on high alert and bark at every single noise-real or imagined. They are locked in my bedroom now in a feeble attempt to keep them from waking the sleeping children. 

I hate Mondays. 

We used to have the distraction of dinner companions each Monday evening so that we were not alone and yelling at each other to do this or that. If it wasn't such a pain in the ass (and expensive) I would just take the kids out to eat each Monday. But alas, it is a pain and it is expensive, so each Monday we just muddle through it ourselves and hope that Tuesday is better. 

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Random question

Who's reading me that lives in Broadalbin? Or near enough there to have an IP address associated with it?

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Lazy sunday afternoon

More meetup drama for those of you who just unlurked yourselves. Who knew all I had to do was have a locked post and you'd come out of the woodwork. Tee-hee

SkyWalker has worn pull-ups the last couple of nights. The first night it was a little wet. The second was dry. The third was soaked. Sigh. He's been trying to hold his poop in but since I'm giving him the laxative every day he can't do it. I think another child would have diarrhea, but he's just having soft poop like a normal person. It's tough giving it to him though because he should have it in juice or water and all he's been wanting is milk! I put it in the milk anyway, but I have a feeling it's a little counterproductive. 

The Princess has horrible diaper rash and it might be from the pull-ups. I'm not sure, but maybe they're not as absorbent and she's been sitting in her pee too long? Oops. 

SkyWalker took a lovely nap yesterday and then was up late and a couple of times at night. The Princess woke up crying in the middle of the night. Haze scared the crap out of me sticking her cold wet nose on my face in the middle of the night and then walked around the room bugging us. In conclusion, I am tired.

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Drama, part deux

Just to follow up... 

I got e-mail today from the mom who quit my group. She apologized for her harsh message and said that about an hour before she got my e-mail she got devastating news about her youngest daughter and that her whole world had collapsed so she responded inappropriately. Her daughter has hydrocephalus and chiari and has had multiple brain surgeries. There's only one thing that I would label devastating and I really hope it's not that. I e-mailed her back right away and said I was so sorry that things weren't going well and that I hoped she got a miracle and it wasn't as devastating as it could be. 

It kind of makes sense now. I really wasn't expecting that response from her and now I know what's going on, kinda. Part of the reason I e-mailed her in the first place is because I knew her daughter took up a lot of their time--constant traveling to specialists--and I didn't want her to be stressed out worrying about the group. I still think that she overreacted but it's so miniscule compared to the important things in life. She apologized and recognized it and I feel better that there isn't any weird unsettled business. 

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Thursday, October 16, 2008


I accept it. 

SkyWalker is just not ready to stay dry at night. Despite the fact that he has done it numerous times, I don't think he really *wants* to do it and that's the key... Last night he peed in his bed BEFORE he fell asleep. He was awake. He said he "forgot." Maybe he's just trying to get our attention? He peed AGAIN less than 2 hours later. And then again this morning. I told him that if he couldn't stay dry he would have to wear a pull-up. I thought maybe he would be motivated. Nope. His response? "I want to wear a diaper like the Princess." I am not putting him in a diaper. I still want him to pee on his own and a pull up is easier for that. So tonight he will wear a pull-up and perhaps we will all get some sleep. He slept until 8:30 this morning. He has dark circles under his eyes. He's refusing to nap during the day but he's clearly so tired. Maybe pull-ups will help.

He also hasn't pooped since Tuesday. He told me yesterday that he was going to poop but then thought it was going to be a bad one so he decided not to. WTH? I am ignoring it and just putting the laxative in his drinks. It hasn't worked yet but he hasn't accepted a full dose yet! I am definitely going to give him the laxative every day now to try to prevent this from happening again. Hopefully he will grow out of this nonsense!

The Princess is also wearing a pull-up right now. The other day I put her on the potty before her nap and she peed and we clapped and then I said "Try to squeeze out a poop so you don't wake up cranky" and lo and behold people she SQUEEZED out a poop. Immediately. It was amazing. 

My house is full of yin and yang.

The Princess is awake after just an hour of napping... SkyWalker didn't even let himself fall asleep. I probably should have taken a shower since I have that whole work thing tonight, but why should I start to care now? You know those moms who wear makeup and look nice? Screw you. I'm proud of my unwashed hair and my hairy toes.

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A bunch of nothing

I just wrote a post about my meetup drama. But you have to be logged in to read it. So if you're a lurker, sucks to be you! 

My daughter fell asleep with both the clock radio and her oceans aquarium on. 

My husband just pulled in and I haven't even played Word Challenge yet! Damnit! Better clear this internet history so he thinks I've been cleaning all day and not on the internets!

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Oh the drama

I've been having some meetup problems. I go back and forth between laughing at the absurdity of it and getting really annoyed with things. The background: I started this meetup because I had joined another across the river and it was just too much of a pain with my kids' schedules to get over there to do things. But I liked the people I met and I liked the idea. So I asked the meetup organizer if it would be okay for me to start my own for over here (because I'm a geek like that... I didn't need permission but I liked her and didn't want to offend her). She was totally supportive. So I started one over here. And made some wonderful friends who have made my life so much better than the dark depressing days of October 2007. My group now has 33 members in it. There are LOTS of inactive people. People I have never met. But they keep coming to the site and at least checking it out so I'm not removing them yet. Then there are some that come to things that I REALLY wish wouldn't. I don't know how to get rid of them. I'm sorry I don't like you doesn't seem to be a good excuse. Because the group got larger and I got busier I had a couple of Assistant Organizers. They turned out to do NOTHING. Now that SkyWalker is in preschool 3 days a week and the Princess naps right after we get home, my time is pretty limited. So I really NEED the asst. organizers now. I e-mailed the other meetup organizer for advice, which she nicely gave, and I e-mailed the 2 assts. and very nicely explained that I really needed help and if they were too busy they could step down and that would be okay, no hard feelings. I had expected a somewhat less than favorable response from one of them but not from the other one. The other one e-mailed back that she would be leaving the group and then before I even got a chance to say "hey, you don't have to do that" she left the group, with a snarky comment no less. I so do NOT need this drama. I could e-mail her and try to explain and make her feel better. But you know what? I'm not. Because I don't need drama. 

And because I'm kind of hoping that one of the annoying people leaves when she sees that this person has also left. 

So I did what I should have done in the beginning and had one of my actual FRIENDS be an assistant organizer. And it's actually perfect since she just got a job (boo hoo) so she'll focus on nights and weekends. PERFECT. 

It kills me that I pay for this too. $75 for 6 months. And of course I do all 6 months at once because it's cheaper that way. And of course I just renewed it. I should not be paying for drama! 

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Sunday, October 12, 2008


Man poop does not even begin to describe the massive amount of poop that just came out of my son--amidst loads of painful screaming. More like gorilla poop. Or dinosaur poop. Three days worth of backed up poop. Dude, it filled the toilet. No wonder the kid slept for HOURS today. I wouldn't be able to move with all that in me either.

And that has been your poop update, brought to by PBJ spiked with pureed prunes and lots of apple juice.

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Lest you all think that things are going smashingly grand in the Jedi house... As the Princess continues to poop on the potty (6 times now), her brother is on day #3 of holding it in. He is sleeping now, didn't have lunch, and has been off and on screaming in pain for the last couple of hours. I'm going to fill the miralax prescription, despite my husband's disapproval, because I cannot go through this again. 

The end.

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Friday, October 10, 2008


This morning the Princess woke up crying at 6:30. I was already up (!) and went up there to see what was the matter since it was most unusual. I took her diaper off, no bad poopies, and she pointed. To the potty. I put her on it as I do every morning now. I read her a book. Nothing. I said "Are you done? Do you want to get down?" She matter of factly said "No." and proceeded to poop and pee and then pointed to the toilet paper and wiped herself. 

I kid you not. 

She will be 17 months old next Wednesday.

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Thursday, October 9, 2008


There are so many funny things to share I can't possibly remember them all. Today while playing Disney Memory, SkyWalker turned over Alice in Wonderland and said "Alice in Wonderland. Like Alice in Chains." I love this boy.

He and his sister were wrestling in his room (yes, they were wrestling. Crawling all over each other, giggling like crazy). He dragged her around the room by her leg and she loved it. I checked on them again and she was naked and he was chasing her trying to kiss her heiney. He was successful.

Quite possibly the funniest thing today was this morning as he was getting dressed. When we were at his check up on Monday his pediatrician had a hard time finding his testicles. It was cold. He was nervous. They were riding a little high. This morning he was naked and I looked and all I see is empty sac. So I say "Where are your balls?" He looks down and says "Where ARE my balls?" and starts feeling around. He's pulling and pulling on himself and gets one down. He says "Here's one." I say "Okay." He says "Maybe I just have one ball?" I said "No [giggle] you have two". He says "Where ARE my balls?" again and attacks himself looking. It was the funniest thing ever. But now I'm going to have to have Daddy check him out and make sure he's got 2 where they're supposed to be!

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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Apple picking


When I first told SkyWalker that he would be apple picking, the first thing he said was "With Littleman?" I said "No, honey, he's in Texas, we're going apple picking with other friends." He said "Tony?" I said "No, honey, his Mommy got a job, he's in daycare now." He wanted to go to the one we went to last year (with Littleman). I said no, we're going someplace else. I think he thought there was a slight chance if we went to the same place Littleman would miraculously be there. We went someplace near our house. I had told him that the little jobber would be there but the poor little guy boycotted his naps today, so he had to bow out. SkyWalker said "So who's going to be here?" and I wondered the same thing. We waited around and then we went apple picking by ourselves. The Princess enjoyed pointing to the "balls" and picking them up. SkyWalker asked where all the good ones were. We got the bag half full and half an hour later SkyWalker said let's go home. I said sure. As we were walking to the car, I asked him if he wanted to get a cider donut and he got excited by that. A car pulls up--the homeschooling mom. It is now 4 pm and we were supposed to meet at 3:30. She sees us and proceeds to complain about us being done already. Um, I have a 4 year old and a 16 month old, who was walking on her own, and you're half an hour late. How long did you think we'd last? She and her kids had a donut and chocolate lollipops with us and she continued to complain about A) the length of our meetups and her commute and B) no one else showing up. She asked if it was even worth it for her to come out. 

I was so nice people. So nice. I said everything I could to convey, No it's not worth it, without saying it. I wanted to say, I'm sorry that you have an hour commute, but that's the risk you take when you join a group that far away. We have little kids, we can't have meetups that are 3 hours long, and things change at the last minute! People cancel, I cancel. These things happen. If you can't deal, don't come. 

So apple-picking sucked. 

Which leads me to Halloween. 

Last Halloween was um, rather traumatic for us. The trick-or-treating was fun--our first time--but after that was well, traumatic. I really REALLY want to make nice happy pleasant memories this Halloween. The only problem is our friends all seem to be busy or won't be around here. The library is not having it's program this year. I have no idea where I'm going to take my kid and more importantly--with who. I know it's only one day and I know he will have fun Halloweens in the future, but this one, this one I really need to be a good fun one. And if it's not, that will suck donkey balls.

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Since the napping rule started the jedi and I have fallen into a routine. Please note, I did not say a nice routine. It goes something like this: SkyWalker refuses to go to sleep at 8 and instead we keep finding him on the stairs wanting to A) tell me he loves me all day or B) want to know what we're watching. He also wakes up in the middle of the night crying because various body parts hurt or whatever excuse he can come up with. My alarm goes off at 6, I turn it off, take my temp and wait for my second alarm--my children. But because my children are sleeping like crappity-crap, they are  either waking up at 8 or not at all and I'm waking up at 8. Leaving me with precious little time to get all 3 of us dressed and fed and out the door. Particularly when I have to wrestle both of them to get them dressed. I tried to put a bow in the Princess hair this morning and I should have just cut her ears off instead, since she was giving me the same struggle. SkyWalker has actually had 2 dry nights in a row (I'm not ready to say it's the napping), which means he's not getting himself dressed in the morning. And he fights me tooth and nail. I get them dressed and out the door and leave behind dishes in the sink, dirty cereal still in them dishes, milky towels and tableclothes and a general mess. When we get home we have lunch and then the naptime fight. I have no idea how long he actually falls asleep, but I do not think it's long. It's probably half an hour or so. So I have to repeatedly go up there and tell him to get back in bed and stop playing and have to listen to him tell me he's not tired and he wants me to stay because he just really loves me--all for a half hour nap? That screws up the night and is leaving us exhausted in the morning? If he continues having dry nights I suppose I'll have to just deal... and force myself to get out of bed earlier. I keep thinking about next year when he's in kindergarten. What the hell am I going to do then? It's going to be so early! Although maybe that will be good. Maybe Vader will have to actually help out and stand out at the bus stop with him. Because if I have to get both of them dressed, in addition to myself and stand outside at 7 something in the morning, I will begin screaming now and not stop for the next 17 years. 

I am tired and grouchy and irritated. The dishes are done and I'm washing towels and I swept the floor but I feel like I can't get a handle on my life right now and that really irritates me. I need something to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. And I need to stop playing Word Challenge damnit.

Oh--but the Princess has pooped on the potty 3 times now, peed countless times and will go and walk to it if you say "Do you want to use the potty?" When she is done she twists and points to the toilet paper. That's pretty good right?

2:09 pm. I am going to scream. The Princess was sleeping. Because SkyWalker isn't tired and didn't want to nap, he went in her room and woke her up after just half an hour. They were giggling and playing in the crib. She NEEDS to sleep. We're going apple picking and leaving at 3. If he were not upstairs she would be sleeping and he would never have woken up. They are both screaming and crying right now. I think there will be WWIII when Vader gets home tonight.

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Sunday, October 5, 2008


I just read a couple of books. I do that every once in a while. I wrote about them over here. You can see what they are by scrolling down and looking to the left at my new um, widget thing (on vox). I'm not sure what it's called. But it's cool. And took me all day of surfing to find. If you're interested in my shocking opinions on Breaking Dawn, click away.

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Saturday, October 4, 2008

Brain cells

I used to be so smart. Really. I did good on my SATs. Went to college in the honors program. Always did well playing Jeopardy.

And then.

Well, and then I had children.

And now I wear slip on shoes because I don't think I could handle shoe laces.

Need more evidence?

On Thursday night, after wrapping up an exciting evening of playing Word Challenge, I closed the web browser at work and saw a pop-up that said this: "Your System Administrator has determined that your current activity is providing a level of enjoyment beyond that which is allowed on company time. Your enjoyment will now be disabled. You may continue with this activity but you may not enjoy it. See your system administrator for more details." And then buttons that said "Ok" "Sorry" "Dock my Pay".

I instantly thought that my system administrator was screwing with me from home, since part of the night I had been chatting with her online. I logged off the computer when I couldn't get it to go away.

When I turned the computer on this morning I was surprised to see it still there. Since I was once again chatting with my system administrator online, I asked her about it. She had me run ad-aware and we looked into it and then I got busy. I decided to just run some spyware stuff because I just couldn't get rid of this pop-up.

And then. I realized.

It wasn't a pop-up.

It was the desktop picture that one of my co-workers had chosen.

This is almost as funny as the time I was hooking up my cable box in the bedroom because the floors in the living room were being done and I couldn't get anything to work and called up and then realized that I had hooked one cable box to the other cable box instead of to the signal from the wall.

I used to be so smart.

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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I need a synonym for progress


The Princess and I dropped SkyWalker off at preschool this morning and he was the first one in the room and barely looked back. He wanted to show the teacher the alligator he made at the library storytime yesterday. I don't know if that was it or if something just clicked with him, but whatever it was, he was happy and fine. He asked me to sing our goodbye song* but that was it. I got out in 5 minutes instead of 10. It was amazing. He claims he pooped there on Monday and since he was chock full of laxatives and suppositories I think I believe him. Maybe he just needed to poop there to find his comfort zone. 

The Princess and I went to Wal-Mart where I found a black long-sleeve onesie ("creeper") for her for Halloween instead of having to buy it online. There was a time when you couldn't find black clothes for kids. I'm glad I don't live in that time. And I found washable dry erase markers that will hopefully save her sheets and clothes from any more permanent damage. At Target I got an umbrella stroller with a canopy. Score!

She was happy in storytime, although still not as enthusiastic as I thought she would be. She smiles a lot and enjoys it but I really thought she would be up dancing the whole time. She's pretty tired by the time we get there though. I don't know what I can do though. If I took her home for a nap she'd get less than an hour--assuming that she fell asleep the minute we got home. Which she wouldn't because she's not tired at 9:30. If gas wasn't so damn expensive I would drive around and let her fall asleep in the car before storytime. BUT, I am happy to say that she is sleeping now and I had no problems getting her down for a nap today. Is it possible that we've found our rhythm? 

We picked up SkyWalker and I had to pee like a racehorse so we used the potty. I made him pee like I always do before we get in the car and he surprised me by pooping there. JOY. (for reals) He's watching Hard Hat Harry right now instead of napping but I don't think the napping thing is working so I don't care. 

It's so nice when things just work out.

In the funny files, this was our one-sided lunch conversation:
"When my room is dark and downstairs is dark I'm scared but in the morning when I'm in my room and downstairs I be fine but when it's dark in my room I'm scared but I'm okay. Was I a little boy when we went to North Carolina? A long time ago when I was a little little boy I pooped in my diaper at night and peed in it and it didn't get in the bed and that's why I love you."

There was even more but sadly I can't remember it all. I wish I had surveillance cameras on him because he is hilarious. And then I would have seen him cutting his sister's hair the other morning. He only did the back and top and it's not even noticeable. But I'd love to know if she just sat there for him. He was in her crib in the morning and used baby nail scissors so it's not as bad as it could have been. He said that her hair looked funny and he thought she should have hair like him. He's right, it does look funny, but I don't think she needs his cut. 

*(To the tune of Frere Jacques)
Mommy loves you.
Mommy loves you.
Yes I do.
Yes I do.
There's no need to cry now.
There's no need to cry now.
I'll be back.
I'll be back.

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Poop! On the Potty!

SkyWalker seems to be back to "normal" and has pooped a few times without me forcing him to try. Yay. 

This post is not about him. 

After letting the Princess cry and cry, I finally went upstairs expecting to see a poopy diaper as the cause of her sudden wake-up and refusal to go back to napping. There was none. I put her on the potty just for the hell of it, read her a book, asked her if she was going to pee and then... and then.... I saw the face. She pooped (and peed) on the potty! SkyWalker and I clapped and screamed and the Princess clapped and seemed to be more interested in her brother's reaction than mine. If only she would tell me when she has to go, we'd be on our way to potty training!

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Bull. Shit.

Vader took SkyWalker to preschool this morning* and when I called later to see how he did at drop-off, Vader said he was absolutely fine. Not sure if our definitions of fine were the same I asked if he clung to him and asked him not to go and had to pulled off by the teacher. Nope. He sat at the table to do his name like he's supposed to, gave Vader a high five and knuckles and that was it. 


Am I just a patsy? It's not like I stick around when he does this. Why does he do this to *me*?? 

Of course he also napped this weekend. When his father put him down and flipped his magic switch. It was either because it was Daddy or because when he's holding in his poop he just wants to lay down. It's easy to hold it in when you're laying down. He is upstairs right now doing everything but napping. He also pooped 3 times today...

Last night I got together with my new friends for board game night. Yes, I am that lame. Instead of boozing it up, I set up board game nights. Aside from the absence of a couple of people who should have been there (*points fingers*), it was great. I hope we can make it a regular thing. 

Vader took the fridge from the garage to the dump on Saturday. He had to use his mother's truck, so SkyWalker couldn't go with him. I explained that we couldn't put a carseat in the truck so that's why he couldn't go. Then I asked if he remembered Daddy's truck and told him that's why we sold it and bought the van. He asked how we got to Japan to buy the van (apparently he knows it was made in Japan). I laughed and said we didn't, they made it in Japan and sent to a car store here. He said "but how did we get it out of the box?". It was hilarious. 

*I slept like crap and had a headache and woke up with a wee bit of diarrhea and dizziness. Vader offered, yes, offered, to take SkyWalker to preschool and I thought that was a fantastic idea. 

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Really? Again?

SkyWalker is holding in his poop again. For the 3rd time in as many weeks. I have spiked his peanut butter and jelly with pureed prunes. I have spiked his grape juice with liquid laxative. I have given him a suppository. He pooped a little bit after that, but not 3 days worth, and he's "leaking" again so it looks like he's right back to where he started. I need to find something that will work immediately, regardless of whether he wants it to or not, so that on that very first day that he doesn't poop I can get it out of him. He needs to go every single day, and all it takes is him holding it in ONCE, to screw everything up and get him caught in a vicious cycle. 

I think I might scream now.

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Friday, September 26, 2008


This preschool thing is killing me. 

I made lunch last night, we ate as soon as we got home, the Princess pooped, and then she went to nap. There is no reason why she should be screaming her head off just an hour later. This. Sucks. 

In addition to that, Vader thinks that if SkyWalker napped during the day he would sleep less deeply at night and then wake himself up when he needed to pee. I think he is wrong. Not only because I think SkyWalker is peeing when he is awake, but also because it's not like I can just flip a switch and make him nap. He's up in his bed right now crying and saying Mommy over and over again. (I put him up there after the Princess started her crying so he's not the one who woke her up.)

Rather than let me blather on about the screaming and crying in my house right now, please enjoy the following videos. They are too long, but I have adorable kids. 

And finally, for once, SkyWalker enjoys Happy Birthday!

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Thursday, September 25, 2008


My son has never watched the Teletubbies. I forbid it. Forbid. 

But the little sonofabitch is so friggin good with the computer and the internets (big surprise) that he has found a teletubbie game on pbs kids and I am hearing "eh-oh!" "bye-bye" over and over and OVER again. Whose idea was it to let him have his own computer? 

We had a fantabulous playdate this morning. Fantabulous because it wasn't at my house so I didn't have to go crazy yesterday trying to straighten up and I'm not going crazy now doing dishes and washing tablecloths. Fantabulous because I was surrounded by friends and we sat and snacked and talked and gossiped and our children all played nicely. We even had the kids eat by themselves in the dining room as we ate in the kitchen (within viewing distance for possible choking). And they all did SO WELL. There was no chaos, no crazy. It was a beautiful morning and just what I needed to get out of my fall weather funk. 

I do not like the fall. I like that we have one. I like that our seasons change. And I will begin to like fall, but right now, in the beginning I just get sad. There's so much to DO in the summer. Swimming, playing outside. The fall is, eh. I don't like being chilly. I don't like having to put jackets and coats on my kids to go outside. I don't like the way it messes up the carseats being so bulky. *I* don't like being chilly. I'd rather lay on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and read a book for the next 9-10 months. I just don't want to DO anything. I suppose once we go apple picking and trick or treating and I figure out how I can make my kids tired without making me chilly, it will be okay. And then it'll be winter. And I REALLY don't like the winter. 

There are things I keep meaning to blog about. Like how I haven't worn a watch since July. But the Princess is claiming that she doesn't need a nap right now. I think it will be an early bedtime, which is just fine since I am not working tonight and I have TV to watch!

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