Balls

This is a non running post. Shocking, I know.

There probably won't be any paragraphs either because the washing machine just stopped so I need to get clothes out of the dryer and into the dryer.

So a list of all the balls I have dropped as of late:

1. I lost two checks for girl scout cookies. One was from my mom. The other from Vader's co-worker.
2. I forgot to call my brother on his birthday. I did send him a card--the one I forgot to send him last year.
3. I forgot to use the coupon code when registering for the half-marathon so I didn't get the $10 off I should have.
4. I still haven't done my taxes.
5. I forgot to ask for Lightrunner's second flu shot at his sick visit (although they may not have given it to him if he was sick) so I have to call yet again and go in yet again.
6. I keep forgetting to find a place to donate the girls' old clothes so I have boxes piled up in my bedroom.
7. I'm sure there's more and I can't even remember what I've forgotten.

Can it be summer now?

I have lost control

Not of my children. I don't think I ever really had that. 

I've lost control of my house. I am too embarrassed to have playdates. It's just beyond a mess. I can't keep up. There are always more dishes, more laundry, more piss on the toilets. I've never cared about dust or the little nooks and crannies but there are crumbs on the floor that just don't go away. I sweep and they come back. I sweep and Isaac scratches his skin off and Haze drops her dark fur all over. The Princess's poor baby dolls are covered in Haze hair because she leaves them on the dirty floor. Whenever I feel like I've made a dent I have to deal with a crisis somewhere (Daddy's cds thrown on the floor! out of their cases!) and then I have no energy anymore to do anything else. I have no energy to do anything really. In addition to being mom of 2 kids-tired, I also have pregnant-tired, and then medication-tired so I'm pretty friggin' tired. If I do too much I vomit. 

For a while I was has-it-together-girl. I have a spreadsheet of all the rooms and what's required in them and I'd check it off as I cleaned each toilet and changed the sheets and vacuumed and whatnot. Now it is just a painful reminder of my inadequacy. I keep thinking it will get easier. As I go more days without vomiting, I'll be able to keep up. But it just doesn't happen. I cleaned the toilets on Wednesday and already it's like I never did it. 

I'm thinking that instead of asking for a treadmill for Christmas (which finally came today) I should have asked for a maid. Just once, just to get the house cleaned once, and then I could stay on top of it. You know, after I tie up the children and the dogs.

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Why I suck

I suck as a traditional mom. Why? I can't knit/crochet. I really can't cook very well. I'm not all that crafty. But more importantly--I don't bake. I can bake things if it comes in a box with instructions to "add eggs and milk". That's about it. But today, today, dear reader, I have sunk to a new low. 

I am going to a cookie exchange tonight. I wasn't going to bring any cookies because the last few weeks have been really tough for me and the hostess took pity and exempted me. But I felt guilty. 

So right now I am "baking" 6 dozen cookies. 6 dozen ready-to-bake cookies, that is. I am simply taking them from their package and sticking them in the oven. Sigh. That's better than being empty-handed though right? I mean, they're still cookies. And they're still baked. They're just not from scratch--which I probably wouldn't have done anyway. I would have just gotten the damn dough anyway. So really this is just an extension of my already lazy baking habits. 

Sigh. 

But, my kid knows who was the first President of the United States.

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