Monday, November 24, 2008

Insane in the membrane

Insane in the brain. 


In a fit of insanity I decided to take the jedi to Denny's for lunch. I've been wanting to go to Denny's but I didn't feel right going without SkyWalker when he's in preschool. So after his preschool Thanksgiving "feast" which consisted of popcorn and some fruit, we went to Denny's. We didn't leave preschool until 12 so I knew I was pushing it, but the Princess is always so good when we go out... as long as there is food, she is happy. SkyWalker was excited to go and told me how to get there in case I forget. "remember Mommy, it's on the same road as Wal-Mart and Target and the orange Home Depot. Daddy goes there. I do too. But not you, or [the Princess]." 

We got inside and sat down and much like the Anchorman in the bear pit I said  "I immediately regret this decision!". The Princess did not want to get into her booster seat because she wanted to clip the belt straps. Why? I don't know. I distracted her with something, I don't remember what, probably dangerous, and I finally got her in the seat and strapped in. We ordered. The Princess ate crayons and mocked me. Shaking her head and saying "No" very softly much like I do to her. After 3 years or so the food came. SkyWalker got mac and cheese and grapes and the Princess got the little dipper sampler--chicken nuggets, mozz sticks, and fries. (I had a club sandwich if you really need to know). SkyWalker gave his grapes to his sister. And proving that he is the best brother ever he gave her half of his mac and cheese because that is ALL she wanted. Usually she wants a little bit of what everyone is having but she will eat everything on her plate. Not this time. She nibbled her food, but she very loudly asked for the mac and cheese. I thought that they would share so it would all work out, but SkyWalker didn't want any nuggets or fries (!) so he just gave up spoonfuls of his mac and cheese (on his own, no less). 

They were actually both well-behaved, but it's just a pain in the neck when you have two. Going potty, getting all of our stuff together, keeping an eye on both of them. It's just a pain. Which is why I don't do it often and will probably not do it again for a long long time. 

In good news--SkyWalker pooped before preschool this morning and when I told him that it was great that he got that out of the way so early he said "yes, I didn't want to hold it in. I like pooping now. It's not hard anymore." Yay laxative. I actually didn't even give it to him yesterday. I've been tapering off and trying to do every other day. With the holidays coming up he could easily have a relapse though so I'm not cutting him off until I know for sure he's done with that holding crap. 

The Princess pooped on the potty THREE times on Saturday. Her sticker chart is almost full. She peed at the library today. When I say "Do you want to sit on the potty?" she usually runs for it. It would be SO nice to have her trained early. And easy. After all the nonsense with her brother... 

I need to fold laundry and wash dishes and straighten up the kitchen and I have no desire to do anything. Oh and pay bills too. Crap on a stick. I need an assistant. And a shower, but that's another post.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008


I've been allowing my son to play in the office by himself (or with his sister). I accept the sacrifice of balls and cars everywhere and even marker on their little faces. I had ONE rule. Do not go in the basement. I heard him in there the other day and I explained that there are mouse traps he or his sister could hurt themselves with and any number of inappropriate things. Our office is in the finished part of the basement, separated from the unfinished part by a door.

Today as I was getting ready to come to work I heard the door open and a little voice say "Come here Princess." I ran down there. The first thing I saw was a big wet spot at the bottom of the stairs. From my water bottle... which was in my diaper bag.. which was on the floor down there when it was supposed to be in the living room. Open. Fine, you say. So what? He didn't open the diaper part, he opened the front zipper part and took out all of the gum. They didn't know what the hell it was so they just unwrapped it ALL and left the pieces on the floor. The hand wipes and hand sanitizer on the floor. My SWISS ARMY KNIFE on the floor.

That's not all.

He shows me three little cars (disney CARS) I bought for Christmas. I said "ACK!" I grabbed them from him and went into the basement where the christmas gifts were hidden. In Target bags. He opened EVERYTHING. Tore things out of boxes. He knew they were presents even though they weren't wrapped. He opened his sister's stuff. I am so annoyed.

I don't expect him to be perfect. I'm annoyed that he opened the stuff, but I understand that. What I am most angry about is that I told him to stay out of the basement and he not only didn't do that, he brought his baby sister in there! He is no longer allowed to play in the office by himself. Which is going to suck ass since that's the only way I've gotten any peace lately. I will probably relent after an appropriate amount of time.

And now I have to figure out what the hell Santa is going to get him and his sister.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Finding my voice

I have been remiss in posting. I know. I've kind of lost my voice. But I think I found it again today. 

I am sitting on the couch in the office, using the laptop, with most of the lights off. Why are the lights off? I don't know. Ask my son. Why am I using the laptop? Because he was using the desktop to listen to Balls to the Wall and take funny pictures of himself. 

It is the end of November, we have been doing the preschool thing for a couple of months now. While he doesn't necessarily run in the door, he has stopped clinging to me when I drop him off. He enjoys his time there and I think he has started to play with other children. Last week the Princess and I witnessed him on the playground--in the sandbox with a couple of girls. They said something and he gave them his trademark tilted head big dimple smile and said "That's yucky. But some dogs eat poop." Later I asked him why he said that and he said the girls told him they were making "poop pie." 

He is still wearing pull-ups at night but seems to be dry in the morning. He's getting up by himself to pee but seems resistant to wearing underwear. I'm not pushing it. 

The Princess is still doing well on the potty. She pees and poops. She doesn't tell me when she has to go and if given the chance she will just as readily drop a deuce on her brother's carpet. But if I ask her if she pooped she puts her hand on her heiney and says "poo". I've started bringing the potty seat into the library when we're there Monday and Wednesday and she is just as eager to sit there as at home, so that's good. 

She's been participating more in storytime. It was getting so disheartening... she's always very well-behaved and sits nicely in my lap but knowing how she loves to dance and sing at home and then seeing her do nothing at storytime... well, it made me sad. But she's started to warm up and follow the directions. Of course this was the last week. 

She's saying A LOT of words. More than SkyWalker ever did. She not only points to her nose and face and mouth and head she tries to say them too. She says face really well, which is hilarious because her brother will say "pace" until you make fun of him and then he'll finally make the f-sound. At the library today we went over the alphabet and she tried to say almost each letter. And did pretty damn good too. She's so amazing. I know part of it is being a younger sibling and the fact that there hasn't been a moment of silence since she was born, but I think a lot of it is just her. She's just so different from her brother. 

While in some ways I regret not joining the Y when I had the chance, my friends are going to the classes together and that would have been great for me, I have loved every single minute I've had to spend with the Princess. I am completely and totally smitten with her. We go out for a bagel and cup of tea before storytime and it's just so relaxing and fun and not at all like it is with 2 children! If SkyWalker was in preschool all day long or every day then maybe I could share some of my time, but it's only 2 1/2 hours 3 days a week. And we've had a playgroup at the library on Mondays and storytime on Wednesdays and we usually shop/run errands on Fridays. 
Hopefully I will start getting my exercise soon. Vader told me he thought I deserved something special for Christmas this year, even though we had decided not to get each other anything. I finally asked for what I've always wanted--a treadmill. He has a stepper thing but I'm just not coordinated enough for that. I like walking. Simple, straightforward walking. Mind-numbing walking. And the kids can play in the office while I do it. They've been doing that anyway--every day they disappear and I hear them downstairs. SkyWalker plays music or movies on iTunes. The Princess laughs. Right now SkyWalker is playing a video from the summer before last, before he turned 3. It is AMAZING how much better he speaks. I can barely understand what he's saying on the video. I wouldn't be sure it was him, except that he's ... well... naked. 

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Sunday, November 9, 2008


When I got home from a long painful day at work yesterday I was greeted with 2 surprises: one, a car in my driveway and two, my daughter's hair is no longer in her eyes.

My MIL had arrived for the weekly lunch at 11:30 and was still there at 5:20 when I got home. When I get home from work I like to put my hair up, cuddle with my children, eat, and try to wash away the memories of the annoying smelly patrons who talk too much. I don't like to discover guests in my home. I really don't like to discover dinner guests! Luckily I had made baked ziti Friday night and Vader had it in the oven so I didn't have to make dinner on the spot. But that annoyed me even more--I had called at 4:50 to remind him to put the ziti in the oven. Could he have mentioned the fact that his mother was still there then? Apparently not. He didn't know she was staying for dinner until I got home. That is perhaps the stupidest thing he has ever said... how could you not know that? Who would stay that late and NOT expect dinner? If she wasn't staying wouldn't she have left when she usually does? After lunch??? Gah. So he got himself a free day... the Princess napped for nearly 3 hours and SkyWalker was with Grama the whole time. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the weekend when I have to work is knowing that he's getting a taste of my life...and getting the quality time he needs with his children... and knowing he was doing his own thing yesterday pisses me off even more.

The Princess has needed a haircut and we've discussed that. I did not expect to come home to her hair chopped off. Okay,  it's not all of her hair. He only did the front that was in her eyes, but he said that he didn't want to do it again in 3 weeks, so instead of stopping at her eyebrows and making it look okay he cut it higher.

It does not look good.

I mentioned this and the unevenness and that we would have to take her someplace professional and if she sat still for him it wouldn't be a problem. His fear is that she will get her eyes poked out or her ears cut off. Because he's so much better than a professional at preventing that... sigh. You know what's going to happen right? I'm going to go home today and her hair will be even shorter in the front because he will try to even it out. Right before our Thanksgiving picture. Right before our Christmas card picture. It's only hair and it will grow back. And when it does I will take her to someone who understands the difference between girls' hair and boys' hair.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008


I drove to work in the dark today. I hate doing that. It makes it seem so late and just so *wrong*. I should be home snuggling with someone.

We met friends at the State Museum today and it was just we needed. The kids seemed happy to just walk around be pushed around while we moms chatted. We rode the carousel and lunched at Subway and despite the fact that my daughter spilled milk all over herself (my fault) or my son needing to go to the bathroom on the first floor AFTER we had just left the bathroom on the 4th floor, it was a lovely time. It's stressful taking children out especially two of them--my husband would never do it--but it's worth it.

A couple of weeks ago we were using the iChatting with my brother and his wife and he started doing funny things with his video--distorting his face and then riding roller coasters and things like that. SkyWalker was beside himself laughing so much. We've had to call up at least once so he could do it again. Then I discovered that we could do it ourselves with Photo Booth. This has been the greatest thing since cheese doodles. SkyWalker has taken OVER 100 pictures of himself with distorted faces or different backgrounds. He cannot get enough of it. It *is* pretty funny. The Princess even gets into it and laughs with her brother at all the funny faces they can make.

Speaking of cheese doodles, I have procurred some white cheddar cheese doodles. These are indeed the greatest things since, well, cheese doodles.

The bigwigs are on their way to vote for our new head honcho here at the library. I wonder if "will screw the staff the most" was one of the criteria. We shall see....

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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Catching up

I feel like the last week and a half have just flown by. The painting took nearly a week but is finally done. I wound up having an allergy attack to the paint fumes--my throat hurt so bad it felt like it was closing up. It's better now but I keep having coughing fits. My house is still a wreck. I got the kitchen mostly organized last night but I can't move big furniture and the living room is just in shambles. I love how everything turned out. My husband doesn't quite like the kitchen, which means I made the right choice. I hope to have pictures soon. 

I don't have many pictures from Halloween either. SkyWalker was not very cooperative. The Princess had a good time as a cat burglar and seemed to enjoy the idea of people giving her candy. That Mommy got to eat later.

The weather has gotten to me. I am lacking in energy or motivation to do anything. I seriously considered wearing sweatpants to storytime today. I am feeling my hibernating instinct very strongly. Unfortunately I have to work this weekend so no hibernating for me. 

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