Twofer Tuesday

Tuesday's are my speedwork days. I am a creature of habit and I stick to things much better when they are part of a defined regular routine. I hemmed and hawed all day Monday about whether I should do my intervals on Tuesday since I had just run a race on Sunday. I decided if I felt ok I would do it and if not I could do an easy run and switch it to Thursday instead. But I am, like I said, a creature of habit. So I really wanted to just do it on Tuesday.

Unfortunately, the cards seemed stacked against me yesterday. LightRunner and I lazed around like sloths during breakfast. I wanted to do pyramid intervals but for some reason I REALLY wanted to use my new watch too. So I programmed it to do the intervals I wanted, but then realized I messed up the number of repetitions so I had to edit it before I started running. It was already basically lunch time before I hit start. I was so focused on the damn watch not being in sync (I think the auto pause messed me up) that I ran longer than I wanted to for the initial intervals. Then I had to stop because LightRunner disappeared and I found him upstairs eating an apple. I had to deal with that and by the time I got to the "peak" of the pyramid, I was just done. So my 5 miles turned to 3. It wasn't an entire fail because I did run really fast for those early intervals, I just didn't do exactly what I set out to do. Did I need to use my watch? No. Not at all. But I wanted to. I cut it short at 3, took LightRunner back upstairs & intended on exercising before I ate lunch (LightRunner had eaten multiple snacks). But I got a phone call from the school nurse than the Princess was tired. So what, right? She had rammed her head into a pole earlier in the day and had a huge goose egg & being tired can be a sign of concussion. So off we went to pick her up and by the time we got home I really needed to eat lunch & get LightRunner down for a nap. No more exercising. 

If the Princess was feeling okay, we had to go to Girl Scouts that evening, so I planned on doing my remaining 2 miles outside around the school. Luckily, she was doing just fine and we could go.

Now, keep in mind, when I run speedwork on the treadmill, I generally do between 8:32 and 9:00 depending on the distance. I always have the incline set to 1 (except yesterday I kept it at 0). I thought about doing an easy 2 miles. But it was Tuesday. And Tuesday is speedwork. So I said screw it and planned 12 repeats of 1 min fast, 1 min walk. On the treadmill I usually do the fast portions at 8:32 when I do this workout.

I warmed up for only half a mile and then went right into it. I planned on running as fast as I could, rather than hit a particular pace so I also planned on waking each resting minute. I wound up with:

7:02

8:32

7:25

7:06

8:46

7:29

7:25

9:24

7:49

8:13

8:37

7:40

The slowest, 9:24, was up a hill. I had to run up that hill for portions of other fast repeats, but that particular one was entirely up the hill. My goal 5K pace right now is 8:48. So for 11 out of 12 repeats, I ran faster than my goal pace. And for 8 of them I ran way faster than I ever do on the treadmill. I wound up with 3.32 miles instead of 2. Oopsies.

And I did this after already doing intervals that day and running a race on Sunday. It was exactly the kind of confidence booster I needed just a couple of weeks before my goal race. I really think all the biking is helping me and doing the run/walk for my long run as well. At one time if I ran more than I should have I would be destined for some kind of injury. But I feel great. I hope I can carry this into the race in a couple of weeks... And then to the half-marathon.

Lather--Rinse--Repeat

Or, how I finally solved my laundry problem.

While 62 miles a month may not be a lot to some people, to a Mama of 4 with other responsibilities as well (goddesslibrarian.blogspot.com) it was a lot to me. I didn't run after the half marathon in October and when I started up again in December I had a really hard time fitting it into my schedule. I am a creature of routine and habit. I had been running M-W-S for so long that I just couldn't break out of it, but M-W we have preschool and then speech and then when I finally get LightRunner down for a nap, it's time to get the kids off the bus. It just wasn't working. So I used January to get running and exercising back into my schedule and establish a working routine. I switched my running days to T-Th-F-S (yes, 3 days in a row) and added cross training on those days as well. I'm following the "hard days hard" philosophy and making my T-Th really hard, Wed just cross training, Friday easy, Saturday long and Sunday-Monday completely off. No run, no exercise. Two full days in a row and it works out lovely. Sunday I am with my family and doing odd things around the house. Monday is my grocery shopping day. It's working out really well. Sometimes there are wrenches--like class parties on Thursdays--but I just adjust nap times and make it work. I have a monthly calendar on the fridge with every single day designated for something and I like checking off my run or cross training or stretching.

The other thing I have on the fridge now is a weekly calendar. I have given myself completely to lists and schedules and organization. On Sunday I go through the week and make out my daily to do list with such thrilling activities as dishes and cleaning toilets and laundry and other crap I have to do. Like I said, I am a creature of habit and the way I have done things for decades is to wait for things to pile up and then take care of them. This is particularly true of laundry. When the hamper is full or we've run out of underwear is my signal to do laundry. It worked out fine until I had all these kids. There are 6 of us and we generate a lot of dirty clothing. The kids' clothes were a real problem because they are so much smaller, more clothes could fit in the damn basket. Now I'm fine with putting clothes in the washing machine and dryer. It starts to break down when I need to take it out of the dryer and there's a complete fail when it comes to folding and putting away. So I would wind up doing all of the kids' laundry on the same day and have a bunch of clothes to fold. But the kids' clothes go upstairs and I am basically downstairs the entire day. I would wind up frantically trying to fold clothes at bed time, irritating the man who thinks bed time is learning time. It wasn't working. So, much like changing my running routine, I have overhauled how I do everything. Instead of waiting for things to pile up, I am now scheduling them ahead of time and breaking them into sizable chunks. I clean toilets and do our clothes on Mondays. On Tuesdays I do the girls' clothes, on Wednesdays the boys, Thursday is whatever, Friday I do the girls' clothes AGAIN and the same with the boys on Saturdays (and my running clothes which I always forgot to do before!). Breaking the kids clothes up into 4 days a week has made it so much more manageable. It's not like it's just a few things--there's still a load of clothes but I'm not doing two double loads. I can easily fold the clothes on the couch during nap time, put it back in the basket and get it put away when I get upstairs.

This has seriously revolutionized how much crap I have to do. I don't have baskets of laundry in the living room hanging over my head. It took me a few minutes to clean the toilets instead of having to do a major cleaning. Then I still have time in my day for running and exercising and stretching and showering and reading and writing book reviews and playing games with kids. Sure, it might start to feel like I am doing the same things over and over and over again--Lather-Rinse-Repeat--but I am in more control over it. Instead of feeling like Sisyphus rolling his bolder up the hill and not making progress, I feel like I am taming the laundry/housework beast. (Of course having a mobile 18 month old creates all sorts of messes that can't be scheduled in, but I can always bribe older siblings to help with that.)

January was all about establishing the routine and I did pretty good. February is going to be about taking it a bit further-- getting my long run longer, my speed work faster, my legs straighter, lifting higher weights, reading more books, writing more reviews. But don't worry, I'm not planning on dusting at all.

Wrinkles

Not the facial kind but the get in the way of all your lofty plans kind. I've got some wrinkles.

I've been doing good decent ok with the new exercise regimen. The only exercise I've ever stuck with has been running, so doing anything other than running for more than a few times is pretty spectacular for me. I'm ready to profess my love for Jessica Smith and her quick workouts. The only thing I don't really like is the cardio routine on the DVD and that's more because I am so completely uncoordinated. It's okay for one session but now that I've added more, I just can't do two in a row. But luckily she adds routines to her youtube all the time and I've been able to find quick workouts for a little variety. I had to shift my running days so that I could have a true rest day with no obligations, instead of a rest day from exercise and a rest day from running and not having them be on the same day! The house is not as damaged as I thought it would be and aside from last week when I was fighting a cold and had a million things to do that kept me from home, I've been following my schedule pretty well.

And then yesterday happened.

I took Lightrunner to his 6 month checkup. And as I had feared and expected, he hasn't gained much weight in the last couple of months (he weighs 13 pounds, 9 ounces). He's grown longer so it's not a "failure to thrive" situation and he's clearly happy and healthy. He's just following in his siblings' skinny footsteps. We started cereal on Monday and I thought I would be chastised for waiting so long, but instead my pediatrician (who I love) was adamant about making sure that breastfeeding is his number one source of calories. She's afraid that his interest may wane now that cereal has been included in his diet. Luckily I spent so many wee morning hours pumping up a freezer supply so that I can mix his cereal with frozen pumped milk so he'll get some extra that way. But she also wants me to add an extra feeding and since neither one of us wants to disturb his 11-hour nights, that means I need to squeeze a 5th nursing in to our day. Just a few short months ago I did feed him 5 times a day, every 3 hours, and there was no problem. But as of late we've only been doing 4 times a day, every 4 hours, and he's been giving me glorious 2 hour naps (if we're home). Going back to every 3 hours is going to interfere with naps. Interfering with naps is going to interfere with EVERYTHING.

Wrinkles.

The good thing is that my ped is pro-breastfeeding and is not telling me to add formula or push him into pureed foods. The good thing is that he did gain SOME weight, he did grow, and he's bigger than SkyWalker was at 6 months. Anyone who sees him can see how well he is doing--he's not starving, he's got some good chub on his legs, and he is almost always smiling and happy. I just need to make sure he stays that way. I'm sure I'll come up with a good routine for us that will keep him fed and well rested and me exercised and stress-free.

And then he'll get his first tooth.

Blathering

School started a few weeks ago and we have yet to fall into a good routine. The girls were sick last week and that screwed things up. Chewie has been taking later naps, leaving me with very little time. She finally fell asleep at 2 (after taking her diaper off. Again. I don't even care if she wets the bed, I just need her to sleep.), I got the Princess up there shortly after and that leaves me with a grand total of 40 minutes. Yesterday we had gymnastics so she was tired enough to fall asleep at 12:30ish and slept a good 2 hours. I was able to run my intervals and shower, and they woke up just as I got SkyWalker off the bus. I'm not sure what's better--to have more time to myself or to have them sleeping when he gets home. I think it's the former. And I think we're going to have to get up a wee bit earlier in the morning so naptime is earlier.

The Princess is ready for kindergarten. She's ready to go and I'm ready to send her. I'm going to have to request a teacher who is very patient with little girls who don't know how to stop talking. Because she can NOT STOP TALKING. My head is going to explode.

Chewie is talking much more and repeats everything and likes to tell me to be quiet and shhh and "top it." She's very rude. She's peeing on the potty again but not doing anything else. She likes to take her diaper off. And her clothes. Big surprise. I don't know why my children always like being naked. I would like to go cold turkey and potty train her, but I don't want to have to stay home. And I can't stay home because of preschool. I need a school break, but I don't want to do that over Thanksgiving or Christmas, so that leaves February. But that seems so far away and I am so very tired of wrestling her to get a diaper on her.

SkyWalker is doing well in school. He has a nice positive teacher so I think things will be good this year. He is getting tired of living in a house with so many girls and gives me guilt trips on a daily basis. He is definitely growing up. He used to be so grateful for anything and this birthday he complained about the books I got him, the legos I got him, everything. I intended on saying "I'm sorry your birthday has been so disappointing." but instead I said "I'm soSOBrry, your SOB birthday SOB has been so disappointing SOB!" (No, I cannot blame this on pregnancy hormones. I am still not pregnant.) He left the room. Vader followed him and I wasn't sure at the time whether or not he told him to be more grateful or not to worry because Mommy does that crap to him all the time too... but he did eventually thank me for everything and seemed to be genuinely happy with it all.

I've done very little. Dishes/laundry/sweep. That's pretty much it. And run. I stopped writing articles because the payback was so little compared to the stress of trying to write multiple articles a week. I generally just read the books I have to review for VOYA now.

Vader and I went to see Primus last night. I didn't recognize many of the songs, but it was a good show nonetheless.

Haze hurt her leg, the same way Isaac did years ago. Vader took her to the vet yesterday who confirmed that she should have surgery. He also said, however, that we could medicate her and keep her on the leash and make her comfortable. At first we both thought there's no point in that if she did completely tear her ACL. But then I came on here and looked up Isaac's SECOND injury and all we did was medicate him and keep him on the leash for months and then he was fine. It was when I was pregnant with Chewie and we really didn't want a second surgery. I would like Haze to be healed... but I don't really want to do another surgery. Besides the fact that it's another $3000 that won't go towards redoing our attic (if we ever redo our attic), I just don't want her to have to go through that. If she has to be in the crate for 2 months and won't be able to lay right next to me...  When Isaac hurt his first leg he couldn't even get up the deck stairs. I had to put a ramp out so he could get up. When Vader touched it, he didn't howl in pain, but he definitely yelped a bit. Haze has shown none of that. She'll still run if we let her (we've had her on the leash for over a week), she doesn't yelp or cry or seem in pain. She's just limping and walking funny. I'm kind of leaning towards giving her the medication, keeping her on the leash, and waiting it out. If she gets the surgery she has to be crated for months and then confined to a leash for more months. So we might as well wait and see.

Snow Day

Vader left the house at shortly before 5 am to go across the state for work. He won't return until late tomorrow night. He's the one who gets up with SkyWalker in the morning and gets him on the school bus at 6:50. Which meant I was going to have to do it this morning and tomorrow. But, luckily for us, we had a snow day. So instead of waiting for the bus at 6:50 I got to lay in bed awake wondering if Vader was in a ditch somewhere and if my dogs would EVER stop barking at the plow guy. I had contemplated getting up at 5 when I was wide awake, but I didn't and sure enough I fell back to sleep right around 6:30 and woke up at 6:45 when the dogs declared war on the plow guy (one of the best decisions we ever made was having someone plow our driveway. Totally worth the money.)

Everyone was excited that it was a snow day and happy to be together. I posted an article while we were all still in pajamas just after breakfast, we quickly got dressed and did math homework and the older two played a little and then we had lunch. Chewie slept okay, SkyWalker and the Princess played in his room and I had just enough time to run 3 miles and shower. Then I brought the laundry up there and without saying anything SkyWalker started to help me sort it and put his own clothes away. So the Princess put her clothes away--which fell short of making it into the dresser, so SkyWalker picked THOSE up and put them away too. Usually it takes me so long to put their stuff away because the three of them like to climb all over the clean clothes and me and cause a ruckus. But today it was done in no time. After that we made corn muffins and then we all went outside and played in the snow. They shoveled and fell down and jumped and I had to drag Chewie in crying. She would have stayed out much longer. We ate our corn muffins, had breakfast for dinner (french toast for them and an omelette for me), and then headed upstairs for bed.

It was an amazing day.

I take for granted, sometimes, how lucky I am that I have kids who get along so well with one another. SkyWalker has always played on the Princess's level, even when she was a baby, but now that she is older they've really become companions. It's so nice to see. They often giggle and laugh. I can leave them together to play outside in the snow and not worry. Not everyone can do that. I am so lucky that they are so good to each other.

But today was not all about luck. I worked hard when they were younger to set routines so that they have alone time and so do I. I remember when SkyWalker gave up his nap and I... just let him. It was so stupid of me, but he had been in daycare and now he was home and it was kind of nice having alone time with him while the Princess napped. It wasn't until I was pregnant with Chewie and couldn't physically keep up anymore that I started the Quiet Time Experiment--something that turned out to be a lifesaver. Because I enforced it with him, the Princess doesn't fight it. During the summer we had some struggles because they wanted to play together but they were too loud and would often wake Chewie. But now that SkyWalker is back at school the Princess has settled into her routine of being in her room quietly while Chewie is sleeping. Last week she played with her new doll house and then "got tired" and took a nap herself. On the weekends when Daddy is home I am not as vigilant about quiet time and it's okay. And on special days like today I let them play together and they are often so happy for the chance that it works out. And I am glad that Chewie sleeps in her crib giving me the freedom to run on the treadmill or take a shower or go out to the mailbox. I honestly do not know what I would do without that alone time. We're all so much better off because of it.

Today was one of those days when the little things clicked, like a sign saying "You did it right!" It's not often that one ever feels that way with parenting, so when it happens it's nice to have a record of it...

Coming out

I'm coming out.

Of the closet.

The running closet, that is. 

I know. I've been doing this running thing since March, or well, really since September when I started (and failed) the Couch to 5k. And I know I ran my first 5k in June. And here it is, the last week in July, and I am just now coming out. When I first started in September I did it because of my friends was so happy, so in LOVE with running, that I wanted to experience that. But it wasn't the right time for me. Chewie and I were still struggling with our routine (i.e. naps) and school had just started. So I quickly failed. But I kept getting on that treadmill. Then in March when my happy running friend organized a group of moms to train them to run a 5k, I thought it would be good to try again and it would help in my friendship quest. I followed my directions and ran what I was supposed to run (for the most part). I did the race, peed my pants, and decided to keep getting on the treadmill and going outside for my weekly Sunday run and I was proud of that. The last few weeks I've been doing less mileage because I have a MILLION things to do and just not enough time. And I was okay with that. And then. 

And then.

Last Thursday night I went for an evening run with my strong running mama friends. It. Was. Awesome. I ran 3.5 miles (okay, 3.49) and it was great. It was nice to run without the sun shining in my eyes, but it was more than that. It was so nice running with these people. They pushed me to continue when I would have given up on my own. They made it fun. They made it awesome. 

Since then I have registered to run another race (in my hometown! in August), I've upped my miles on the treadmill again, I've researched yoga for runners and am waiting for my Yoga-teacher sister to get me a plan so I can do some cross-training to help me improve, and I've reached out to people to find a running partner closer to home. Through the magic of the internets and social media I have actually found one and will be doing a run with her on Sunday. (My strong running mamas don't live in my town and while I would definitely drive to where they are again, it's nice to have somebody right here so I don't have to add a 25 minute drive to the time I need coverage for the kids.)

And I realized that I am, without a doubt, a Runner now. If I were to get pregnant tomorrow (which I am absolutely not) I would still keep running. That is HUGE for me. I want to have some more time and get some more miles in so that I feel absolutely comfortable running while pregnant, so I won't be running for two anytime soon. That's okay. I'm having fun running for one. For me.

I have a MILLION things to do, who doesn't?, so I need to rearrange my life/schedule a little bit. I go out every Sunday morning for a run on my road. This past Sunday I also wrote my examiner articles for the week so all I had to do was publish them. I'm planning on running Monday, Wednesday, Friday and then doing the yoga and some strength weight training on Tuesday, Thursday. I need to get up earlier in the morning and make better use of my evening time so that I can devote my nap time and not feel overwhelmed because of laundry or dishes or the dogs. I fritter a lot of time away during the day, 5 minutes here and there checking facebook and whatnot because I think it's only 5 minutes. But it adds up. That's 5 minutes I could fold the laundry still sitting in the basket in my bedroom. I think that if I stay on target I can make this work. And if I can't, well, don't look at my toilet when you pee in it because I'll be running and not cleaning it.

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Go ahead and roll your eyes

I know that people probably roll their eyes when they hear me talk about daily schedules and what I do with my kids. I could make things easier. I could have the TV on all day. I could let them do whatever they want. I could send them all away and let someone else take care of them. But that's not how we do things. We like to be together. We like to do things together. There's just a small part of the day when I need a break and they get crazy. It's only been 2 days but this daily schedule is working GREAT. I think SkyWalker really responds to a structured day. He's said many times that he misses school. Yesterday we did our morning fun at a new local indoor play area since the weather was so muggy and there was a threat of thunderstorms. We came home for lunch and then went upstairs and read together and did some gymnastics and then I had all 3 of them napping or having quiet time for 2 hours. No problems. After nap time we did our A is for Apples stuff and SkyWalker showed the Princess how to write a letter A and she did it. Mondays are always so difficult, but yesterday was just great from start to finish. He asked that we add 30 minutes to the schedule--for cuddling and kissing. For serious. Today was less great--they got a little crazy in their rooms while I was making dinner, but nothing horrible. They had their nap/quiet time long enough for me to run and shower. I don't even really care if the Princess sleeps, as long as she doesn't wake up Chewie. The important thing is giving me a break so I can run. 

Speaking of. 

A couple of Sundays ago I went to the local high school track to calibrate my Nike+. I ran my fastest mile (9:18). I ran another mile to make sure it worked and it did. I was curious to see how my treadmill would compare to my calibrated Nike+. I expect them to be a little off because they measure differently, but I was shocked at how off they were. The treadmill said I did 3/4 mile LESS than the Nike+. That is a HUGE difference. Let's say that it's not really that far off... even if it's 1/2 mile that's still a pretty big difference. I've often felt that my treadmill was harder than it should be. I know when I was in college I walked at a much faster speed than I can now, but I figured I was just old now. When I ran on my SIL's treadmill there was a definite difference in speed. I don't know if the kids putting paint on the treadmill can affect it or if it needs a tune up... I don't really care all that much. It works. I just don't pay attention to the distance now. And I don't kill myself trying to run at a higher speed. Since I've discovered this it's given me extra motivation. When I went out this past Sunday I ran the whole way on my road--a first for me--and finished in just less than my race time. When I ran today on the treadmill I ran for 30 minutes straight because I wasn't trying to maintain an inflated higher speed. I had been looking at my running friends and their facebook statuses and wondering why I wasn't able to do as much or keep up... and now I know! When I thought I was running at a 6 speed (10 minutes per mile) it was really much faster. I can't keep that up! Not yet anyway. I'm pretty excited that I've been doing more than I thought I was and I'm eager to keep running. I'm trying to figure out how I can add another day of running to the week and still write my articles and take care of my children. And do laundry. OH and this past week? All the running I did? I had my girlie monthly visitor. And it was bad. The only relief I had was while running. I can't stand at the sink to do dishes without being in pain, but I can run. Funny, no?

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Clutter

The big kids are at swimming and the little one is sleeping. I'm taking this time to chill out after a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. 

Last weekend we surprised my sister with a baby shower. The shower itself was nice and quick. Later that evening we all went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. While there a man in the back started choking.  I heard a woman say "Is there a doctor or a nurse?" and before I could even look towards the end of our table my SIL nurse was up and running. As was my husband. They moved tables out of the way, my SIL did CPR (it had progressed beyond a choking incident). He didn't have a pulse when she got to him, but he did when she left. He might not have much longer (he was pretty old and had parkinsons and other problems), but because of her he didn't die in a Chinese restaurant. And it was really because of HER. No one from the restaurant was over there to help. There was a family doctor there who walked over and then returned to her own table to finish her dinner. My SIL was amazing. But the really impressive part was that once the paramedics came and took over she didn't come back to the table. She stayed with the old man's wife and comforted her and explained what was happening. It would have been easy for her to stay with us, to stay with her baby, to do what the family doctor did and let someone else handle it. But she didn't. She saw what had to be done and she did it. She was truly amazing and I am so SO proud of her. 

We got back from LI on Sunday and back to our routine on Monday. I missed yet another group run since I was in the car on Sunday. We had a busy busy week complete with a trip to the doctor and an x-ray. On Tuesday SkyWalker had an unfortunate incident with a hula hoop and another kid in gym class. The girls and I were at a park and had to rush to get him at school, bring him to the pediatrician, and then bring him to get an x-ray. Nothing is broken, and he's all better now, although he's milking it like crazy. It was a royal pain in the arse taking all 3 kids particularly since the girls and I still needed lunch (luckily I had packed one for the park so we didn't have to get Burger King). And I couldn't bring the girls into the x-ray room so SkyWalker had to go in by himself. I was right out in the hallway but I think a year ago he wouldn't have let me go. The X-ray woman looked at me with Chewie & SkyWalker in the double stroller and the Princess walking and said something like she didn't know how I did it with 3 so young. Is it really that uncommon to have more than 2 kids now? Whenever I have all 3 people look at me like I have a caravan... and then they ask if they're all mine and inevitably say "Wow you have your hands full!" Dear strangers: if you're going to say "you have your hands full" you better follow it up with "and you're doing a wonderful job!". Otherwise I don't need your comments. Anyway, I digress. It was a pain in the neck but we managed and they were all scared enough to behave beautifully. He couldn't go to school on Wednesday which meant he was at gymnastics again. This time he had to stay in the stroller with Chewie (I figured I wouldn't carry her in the sling if he was there with her). It was nerve wracking checking the waiting area all the time and relying on the kindness of strangers (the grandmothers there made sure they didn't get kidnapped), but we did it. He cried and screamed Thursday morning but he went to school. By then I was a big ball of stress. 

My entire routine had been thrown out the window. And I *need* my routine! With Easter, and then traveling, and then the hula hoop incident, I was all out of whack. I haven't written an article in weeks, I don't have my preschool playdate planned, I had bills to pay! We went to the library Thursday morning--I know, why didn't I just stay home and get things done?--and I just let the stress go. The examiner articles are not a *job* with deadlines. They can wait. I have the preschool playdate mostly planned in my head just not on paper. I'll get it done. The thing that was really REALLY stressing me out was the clutter in my house. I don't care about the dust on my banister or that my bathroom is gross. But the kitchen was out of control. I had a huge pile of paperwork on the counter. The homework table was growing papers and playdoh and the kids' toys were just everywhere. So Thursday after lunch I put the computer to sleep and I attacked the kitchen. I did the paperwork and threw out stuff and sorted others and now have a pile down in the office that needs to be filed, but I'm okay with that. And once I got that done it was like a breath of fresh air. I know my house is not *clean*. But I really can't stand clutter. It makes me feel out of control. I would rather have dirty windows than papers piled up on the counter. 

I'm hoping to get back into my regular routine next week. Actually as I type this I realize I probably won't... my routine is usually running MWF and article writing T/TH. But this week I might be running on Tuesday, so I have to run on Sunday just in case. Hmmm. Okay, well, in any event, poor innocent blog reader who has to read my thoughts as they actually happen, I hope to get back to some routine. Crap, yeah, I have an Earth day playdate on Thursday too and have to make magazine holders. Hmmm. 

There's a rumbly in my tumbly and I hear a little girl stirring in her crib, so I will leave you with this: I registered for the 5K. We all know how cheap I am so I pretty much have to do it now right?

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Routine

Sometimes I get a little boxed in by my routines. For the most part things work out really well and by sticking to my routines as much as possible I can keep control over my days. I had been "dream feeding" Chewie at 10--feeding her in her sleep so that she would make it until the morning (7:30) and not have her sleep interrupted. Lately she's been waking up at 10. Which is no longer a dream feed and pretty indicative of a habitual waking. The last couple of nights I fed her only one side, something that would have caused a 3 or 4 am waking a few weeks ago. She took it and slept until 7:30. Or well, 7:20, but we're not going to quibble. Last night I decided not to go up there at all. She woke when Vader took SkyWalker and the Princess to the bathroom. I grumbled but didn't go up. She wasn't screaming or crying but really just fussing. She went back to sleep after just a few minutes. I was truly shocked when my alarm went off at 5:30 and I realized I hadn't been up yet. I knew this had become a habit waking but part of me was afraid to not feed her. Not that she would wake me up later, but just because she seems so similar to SkyWalker--born early and small, not the easiest pooping, looks just like him--that in the back of my head I thought "I don't want another baby to stop gaining weight." But she is not SkyWalker and she is still gaining weight. She now has some chunky thighs like her big sister. And she is a week away from cereal anyway. I decided I didn't need to wait until EXACTLY 6 months, so I'm doing it just one week early--on Thanksgiving so my mom can be there. My mother was there for the other 2 and now she can be there for Chewie's first cereal tasting as well. 

That was a long paragraph. 

I'm pretty flexible with my routines. If Chewie has only napped half an hour in the morning I have no problem letting her nap 3 hours and feeding her a little later. I really don't watch the clock unless she is right on cue and it just happens that way. When you have more than one kid you need some kind of structure though. When we're home we've fallen into a nice routine of me feeding my children all day. Seriously some days it feels like just that:

7:30 feed Chewie

8: feed the Princess breakfast

8:30/9 feed Chewie again so she'll last her nap (this is becoming unnecessary)

11: feed the Princess lunch

11:30 feed Chewie

1: feed Chewie (again, this is up in the air)

3:30: feed Chewie

5-6: make dinner

6:30/7: feed Chewie

I'm trying to keep Chewie from doing nothing but sitting in her high chair or carseat or swing so I need to plan the Princess's lunch before I feed Chewie. I need to have a handle on my day. Of course when we go somewhere it's all up in the air and she gets no tummy time and usually just takes a series of short naps and I feed her way too much trying to get her to just take one long one. 

The Princess has just started whining "Mommy" which in turn has woken Chewie up. It's only 6:20 and I'm ignoring it. I should probably shower while I can.

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Ramble On

It's funny, when your time is split into 2-3 hour chunks it goes amazingly fast. I close my eyes and it's a week later. We've been working really hard on our routine. And by we I mean me. Chewie has been on EASY (the baby whisperer) since I brought her home--I nursed her, changed her diaper to wake her up a little, and then put her down to sleep. Eat, Activity, Sleep. The Y is supposed to be You time, but with 2 older kids there is no You time. She's starting to be awake longer... and thus is now able to get overtired and then have to scream herself to sleep. Joy. In addition to the sudden and random blood curdling screams brought on by gas, she also enjoys crying in her sleep. I am so glad I got that video monitor because I would think that the Princess was sitting on top of her. Oh no. She's completely asleep. Crying. I do think she's been overtired and that I've been misreading her cues a bit and feeding her when she just needs to sleep. Ah well, tomorrow is a new day. She'll be a month old tomorrow and all things considered she's doing really well. I do remember with the Princess that I thought she would never go longer at night and settle into a routine, but she did her first 7 hour stretch at 7 weeks old, followed shortly thereafter by ALL night long. So I have hope. 

My routine has pretty much remained the same. I get up at 5:30 every morning. Pump, eat, check the internets, shower if I can, sometimes do laundry, and enjoy the quiet. Lately the quiet has been interrupted by either a crying Chewie or a wandering SkyWalker who says that 6:45 is "close enough" to 7. I hope to add some treadmill time in the morning as soon as Chewie is sleeping upstairs in her crib. It's one thing for me to leave her in the co-sleeper while I'm in the kitchen and the dogs are still sleeping in our room, but I don't want to go downstairs and be too far away (the co-sleeper is attached to our bed with one of the sides off so that I can "roll over," and pick her up to nurse her. But I discovered I can attach the 4th side while it's still attached to our bed so it functions as a bassinet. It's safer for me to leave the room.) 

It is almost my bedtime. It is also almost my birthday. My son thinks I need a bicycle for my birthday. 

I am fading fast right now so I leave you with this: I frequently tell SkyWalker that he needs to eat his meat and vegetables if he wants to grow big. Whenever he's eating or drinking something he'll ask if that will help him grow big. He really doesn't eat a lot of meat so I'm constantly telling  him that's what he needs. At bedtime tonight we were all in the girls' room and I was feeding Chewie, as usual, Vader was teaching the Princess how to do math on her fingers, and SkyWalker was sitting on the floor with me. He asked me what tomorrow is and I told him that Chewie was going to be 1 month old tomorrow. He asked if she was going to get bigger and I said that she was getting bigger everyday. And he said "from your breastmilk and meat. Your meat milk. Haha. The meat in your milk. Haha." 

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3 weeks

Chewie is 3 weeks old today. She has discovered how to cry, quite loudly, as well as the joys of gas. Her little legs held rigid, her face purple, she screams with a painful rage whether she is awake or asleep, and then is fine and you'd swear she had been quiet the whole time. I hope this phase will pass quickly (ha, I said pass. Like pass gas. Ha!) because it is irritating as hell. She did manage to poop this morning and she rip a few with no fanfare so maybe it is passing. 

We're getting into a routine during the day. Well, we've been on one since we got home but it mostly consisted of me feeding her constantly, changing her diaper in an attempt to wake her a bit, and then her sleeping. Now she's going a little longer between feeds and has a bit more awake time before her naps. She's also not falling asleep as easily though since she is more awake, so I'm going to have to start doing more than just putting her down. But she's napping in her crib which is something the Princess refused to do this early and she's fallen asleep on her own plenty of times. I think the last couple of days she's been getting very overtired because of the gas waking her up and interrupted her bedtime sleep and her naps. And siblings who like to run around the house playing music band. But mostly I think it's the gas. 

We had someone come over yesterday as a mother's helper and it was great. She's the daughter of someone my BFF knows and is very good with kids. As soon as she got here I sent her outside with the 2 stir-crazy children. Although they both hid under the kitchen table when she got here, it was in silliness not shyness. They both willingly went outside and I could hear SkyWalker tell her all about his preschool kids that are going to kindergarten with him. He was not shy at all. It was amazing since he's never met her! And if he's comfortable with someone, the Princess is, so she was fine. It worked out really well. When she left she said something about SkyWalker really liking to talk and I just had to laugh. I can't believe this is the boy who hid in the bathroom at our first playdate. It really makes me feel like everything I've done (mom's group) has had an effect. And the added bonus is that the Princess seeing him comfortable with people will hopefully prevent her from becoming painfully shy too. Of course now that's he's going to kindergarten we've been telling him about strangers and who he can and can't talk to. It's funny--didn't have to worry about that before because he didn't talk to anyone! 

The Princess was up a lot last night. My poor mother took care of her before Vader could get upstairs. I don't know what her problem was and hope she's not getting sick. Chewie was up every couple of hours but she was just up to nurse and then right back to sleep, no in between painful gas crying, so it wasn't that bad. And I'm pretty sure SkyWalker peed the bed again and I'm pretty sure my mother (who is sleeping in his room) dealt with that too. He's had some dry nights so I know he can do it. We went to Denny's for dinner though and it was later than normal and he drank a boatload of milk. I should have had Vader go up and have him pee twice last night. Oh well. 

I took all the jedi to the train station yesterday to pick up Nana. It was the first time I had the three of them myself. It was also the first time I drove in 3 weeks. I had to remember what to do. It always feels so weird when I don't drive at all for a few weeks. I obviously don't forget how to drive, but it just feels weird. 

And with that the dogs have woken Chewie. So much for my peaceful time. 

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In the zone

This is what I have been waiting for. 

Nine months, or, well, less, of vomiting and back aches and insecurities and vulnerability and no energy and it's all good because it leads me to this. I had a baby less than a week ago. I've packed up all my maternity clothes and put them back on the top shelf of the closet. Sure, I could use a girdle. I am awake and up before my children and dogs and husband and enjoying the private me time that I've needed the last 9 months but had no energy for. All I needed to do was have the baby. It's amazing how quickly I've settled into the old routine--feed baby, get up, pump, drink tea, go online, feed baby. I could barely drag myself out of bed before. And now that I have a newborn, my 3rd, and I'm up every couple of hours at night I find myself with energy and motivation that I forgot existed. Mostly motivation. I won't lie, I'm wicked ass tired by the time dinner time comes and I fell asleep watching Kung Fu Panda last night, but I am motivated in ways I haven't been in a long time. 

Last night the baby, who is in serious need of a nickname for this blog, fed at 12:30 and then not again until 5:10. I don't really want to go over 4 hours at night this soon but she's been pretty good about waking up at night to feed so I figured she knew best. And I did feed her just about every hour before we went to bed. She weighed 5 pounds, 11 ounces at birth. When she came home on Thursday she was 5 pounds, 8 ounces (which was funny because SkyWalker was 5 pounds, 7 ounces when he was born). By Friday she dropped another 3 ounces. I've been waking her and feeding her every 2 hours during the day and at yesterday's weight check she was 5 lbs, 10 oz. I think I'm going to do every 2 hours until she gets to 6 pounds and then we'll get onto the 3-hour routine that I love so much. 

When you first change a low-birthweight baby's diaper you think there's no way you can do this without breaking a bone. It's almost too frightening to attempt. But this is not my first low-birthweight baby and not my smallest either so I was able to skip over that this time and see the benefits. I had SkyWalker first (obviously) so I've always felt that boys are easier to change than girls--sure there's more chance of getting shot with some errant urine, but there are fewer nooks and crannies for the explosive mustard poop to hide in. When I had the Princess it was ridiculous. I declared that girls are ridiculously hard to change. I hereby modify that to say that girls with chunky legs and fat rolls (i.e. normal ones) are hard. The low-birthweight baby girl is wicked easy. She does not have any fat anywhere in her nether regions. There's no poking around looking for the stray poop. 

She's doing well. I'm doing well. The older jedi are doing remarkably well with her. The dogs are behaving. Vader is home for another week or so. It's all good. And with that I am going to attempt a shower before the 7 am wake up call.

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Wrinkles

Since the napping rule started the jedi and I have fallen into a routine. Please note, I did not say a nice routine. It goes something like this: SkyWalker refuses to go to sleep at 8 and instead we keep finding him on the stairs wanting to A) tell me he loves me all day or B) want to know what we're watching. He also wakes up in the middle of the night crying because various body parts hurt or whatever excuse he can come up with. My alarm goes off at 6, I turn it off, take my temp and wait for my second alarm--my children. But because my children are sleeping like crappity-crap, they are  either waking up at 8 or not at all and I'm waking up at 8. Leaving me with precious little time to get all 3 of us dressed and fed and out the door. Particularly when I have to wrestle both of them to get them dressed. I tried to put a bow in the Princess hair this morning and I should have just cut her ears off instead, since she was giving me the same struggle. SkyWalker has actually had 2 dry nights in a row (I'm not ready to say it's the napping), which means he's not getting himself dressed in the morning. And he fights me tooth and nail. I get them dressed and out the door and leave behind dishes in the sink, dirty cereal still in them dishes, milky towels and tableclothes and a general mess. When we get home we have lunch and then the naptime fight. I have no idea how long he actually falls asleep, but I do not think it's long. It's probably half an hour or so. So I have to repeatedly go up there and tell him to get back in bed and stop playing and have to listen to him tell me he's not tired and he wants me to stay because he just really loves me--all for a half hour nap? That screws up the night and is leaving us exhausted in the morning? If he continues having dry nights I suppose I'll have to just deal... and force myself to get out of bed earlier. I keep thinking about next year when he's in kindergarten. What the hell am I going to do then? It's going to be so early! Although maybe that will be good. Maybe Vader will have to actually help out and stand out at the bus stop with him. Because if I have to get both of them dressed, in addition to myself and stand outside at 7 something in the morning, I will begin screaming now and not stop for the next 17 years. 

I am tired and grouchy and irritated. The dishes are done and I'm washing towels and I swept the floor but I feel like I can't get a handle on my life right now and that really irritates me. I need something to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. And I need to stop playing Word Challenge damnit.

Oh--but the Princess has pooped on the potty 3 times now, peed countless times and will go and walk to it if you say "Do you want to use the potty?" When she is done she twists and points to the toilet paper. That's pretty good right?

-----

2:09 pm. I am going to scream. The Princess was sleeping. Because SkyWalker isn't tired and didn't want to nap, he went in her room and woke her up after just half an hour. They were giggling and playing in the crib. She NEEDS to sleep. We're going apple picking and leaving at 3. If he were not upstairs she would be sleeping and he would never have woken up. They are both screaming and crying right now. I think there will be WWIII when Vader gets home tonight.

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