Looking back and forward... and up

I haven't been blogging much. I also haven't been running all that much. I took a nice long break after the last half-marathon. I continued to run, but felt no guilt at skipping runs to meet a friend for a hot beverage or to do my Christmas shopping or to simply avoid the cold. As such my stats fell WAY down (this is the first year I didn't go up in my yearly stats too).

2015 Running stats

But I can't say I regret it. I feel balanced and in control. I'm not running to lose weight or to make it to the Olympics. I'm running to feel better and to be happier. So if I skip a run here or there and spend that time doing something else that makes me happy? No guilt.

That's not to say that I'm done running or that I don't have future goals or dreams. But I was beginning to feel bogged down by them and I'm glad I took a step back and remembered why I am doing this in the first place.

I'm going to try to stay on a nice routine this winter for as long as I can. At the end of the month I'll be having a little surgery that will put me on the bench for a short time. I'll have to start slow and short and build back up from that.

At the beginning of 2015, I wrote:

I'm keeping my goals for 2015 simple:
1. Run 3 times a week2. Bike 2 times a week3. Cross train (strength, core, etc.) whenever I can4. Run with friends whenever I get the opportunity! 5. Be the best runner I can be
I'm not giving myself any time goals. I would like to PR at both the 5K and half marathon this year. I'll work damn hard to do it. But I'm not going to define myself by that. I'm not going to judge my success on numbers. I'm not an elite, not a pro, I'm just another Strong Running Mama trying to stay sane and be a good example to my kids. If I do the majority of my runs with a smile on my face (or at least in my heart) and run with friends and laugh, I'm doing pretty good. I am a million light years ahead of where I was 5, 10, 15 years ago. 

For most of the year I did run 3 times a week. I fell off the biking over the summer. It's hard to use an indoor stationary bike when your kids are outside playing. Someday I'll be able to add outside biking to the mix, but not quite yet. I did cross train whenever I could. And I ran with friends whenever I could too. 5:15 am runs are just not for me. I need sleep and if I don't have to get up that early to run (because I can run after preschool drop off), well, I'm not going to. But I have tried to run with Jen on the weekends as often as I can.

Running and biking combined. 

I did PR at both the 5K (and broke that a few months after) and the half marathon this year. I actually had a really good racing year and I think keeping everything in perspective helped.

Back in July (after that big birthday of mine) I bought myself a Garmin Vivofit 2. It's an activity/sleep tracker that works well with the Garmin running watch I have. Someday I'll write up a proper review but today is not that day. From July-December I racked up 2,452,591 steps. That's over 2 million steps in 6 months. Since I wear it 24/7 that number naturally includes all my running miles as well. But an awful lot of those steps are just me getting chores done in the house. I shoot for 10,000 steps a day and most days I do more. All the running in the world doesn't mean anything if you go back home and sit on the couch for the next 8 hours. I am a lot more conscious of any inactivity thanks to the Vivofit (it has a red line that gets longer and longer if you don't get up and walk. Long car rides kill me). This is actually one of the reasons I don't blog as much anymore. I hate to sit for extended periods of time now.

In light of the unknowns about the upcoming surgery (it's possible it will take me longer to bounce back) I am hesitant to have concrete measurable goals. It would be great if I could get my mileage back up but if I wind up needing more than a month off, it may not happen. I'm not signing up for any long-distance races (Ragnar not included). So this year, 2016, I'm going to challenge myself in different ways. I'm going to go outside my comfort zone. I'm going to run toward what I always run away from. This year, I'm going to embrace the hill. I'm not concerning myself with speed (yes, I know hills are speedwork in disguise) or overall distance or anything truly measurable. I am simply going to tackle the hill (really, all hills) and go forward and overcome it. By the end of the year I hope to conquer it and be able to say "yeah, I can run anywhere, any race" without stressing over elevation maps.

Running goals

This weekend is my A-goal 5K race. It is also week 13 of my half-marathon training plan so I am supposed to do 8-10 miles. I have discovered that if I care about how I do at a race I am NOT one of those people who can run a few miles before and a few miles after. So I was going to do 8 yesterday to make up for missing it this weekend. I figured I'd do 5 miles of intervals on the treadmill and then get another 3 when I dropped the Princess off for Girl Scouts. But the 2yo wasn't interested in hanging out while I ran and we wound up cuddling on the couch reading books and then walking around outside and swinging. He didn't go down for his nap until too late and my treadmill hopes were dashed. But it was ok. I still had my evening run planned. 

As we know, Tuesday is speedwork day. I always want to do tempo runs but I fail miserably at them on the treadmill. So I thought I'd attempt one on the road. I figured I'd run at a 9:30 pace, that seemed pretty challenging to me, but not all out interval-pace. I was lucky enough to have a speedy friend who met me at the school to keep me on target. We started out (I forgot to do an official warm-up, but just before I had been running with the Princess on the playground, so I'll say that counted as a warm-up). I did the first mile in 9:30 and I felt pretty good. I wasn't dying and I was able to actually maintain a conversation, albeit not quite as easily. So I sped up a little bit. My friend and I parted ways and I continued and sped up more. I felt GOOD. I felt like I was running fast and strong, but like I had more to give. It was awesome. I finished up the 3 miles and walked a bit. I thought about continuing but I had to pee really bad so I wound up stopping at 3.21. I should have just stopped the damn watch at 3, but every bit counts. I knew my average pace (for the 3 miles) was 9:17 so I was pretty happy I had come under my goal but didn't feel like I had just raced. If it hadn't been for my bladder doing it's own running, I could have continued. When I checked my splits though I was SUPER STOKED. I am always aiming for negative splits but I can usually only manage to get the last mile or two faster (depending on the distance). Last night's run was PERFECT. 9:30, 9:12, 9:09. I felt strong. Even better, when I peed it was nice and clear. Because I didn't run until 6 pm, I had all day to hydrate, so I had hit my target water goal (80 oz) before I even left.  

I've been having such successful runs lately that I am feeling pretty confident about my races. Like I said back in January, before that Runner's World article started circulating, I'm really trying to base my success on my effort and not on exact times. I might not break any PRs this weekend, but I feel really good about my training. I am starting to think that my body can run faster than my mind thinks it can. When I thought about doing 9:30 last night I pictured a lot of huffing and puffing. But there wasn't. I was in control and was even able to talk a little. I think I can do more. 

But I'm not setting myself up for failure again. Race goals:

A. 27:35 or better

B. Better than Course PR of 28:06

Whatever I do, I want negative splits and I want to finish strong. I don't want to start too fast & slow down. I want to race smart and I want to run happy. 

Believe

Most winters I just run whatever I feel like, whatever I can do, and don't stress too much about missing runs because of snow or ice or negative temps. I've been doing that this winter until I realized a couple of weeks ago that I should probably start training for a half-marathon I signed up for in May. This will be my first spring thirteener, so it kind of fell off my radar. Luckily I thought of it in time. I only had to cut one week off my 16 week plan and I had unintentionally run exactly what I needed to for the first week, so it worked out well. I printed up my fridge plan, as I always do, but it didn't feel quite right.

Back in the fall I bought Lauren Fleshman's Believe journal for myself. I've always been a spreadsheet fridge plan girl and not a handwritten journal plan girl, but Lauren Fleshman could write some notes on a dirty napkin and I'd buy it. When I got it I read through all the helpful tips and chapters but I didn't dare write in it. It was just too pretty. Too special. 

But now that I am doing more than just running and checking mileage off on a spreadsheet, my fridge plan is not quite enough. So I grabbed a pencil and transferred my plan to the journal. I wrote out all the mileage for the entire 15 weeks, leaving room for both planned and actual mileage. For the next 2 weeks I've also written in the Jessica Smith workouts I plan to do, as well as my biking workouts (not just idly biking anymore either-- doing actual workouts on the bike to improve my running speed). I figure I'll do that 2 weeks at a time because my cross training is always up in the air...

Like I said, I've always been a fridge plan girl and I still have it up on the fridge. But I am LOVING using the journal. Yesterday I had planned to do my favorite speedwork workout, Fast 40:

10 min warmup

4 x 30 secs 10k pace / 90 secs easy

4 x 60 secs 5k pace / 60 secs easy

4 x 30 secs 10k pace / 90 secs easy

Cool down

But I needed 4 miles and I don't usually get it doing this because I normally walk all the recovery parts. My initial plan was to just tack on more to the cool down to get to the 4 miles. But when I finished the planned workout, I decided to add on another 4 repeats. 

10 min warmup

4 x 30 secs 10k pace (9:01) / 90 secs easy (2 of them walking, 2 easy run)

4 x 60 secs 5k pace (8:39) / 60 secs easy (walking)

4 x 30 secs 10k pace (9:01) / 90 secs easy (2 of them walking, 2 easy run).

4 x 60 secs 5k pace (8:39) / 60 secs easy (walking)

Cool down

It was awesome. I decided to slow down my fast paces instead of jumping right into my goal 5K pace... And it was the best. I was still running faster than I normally do, but instead of quitting or holding onto the arms of the treadmill, I ran strong and SMILED. Yes, I smiled. It was such a great run. I was able to run some of the recovery instead of just walking. And I couldn't adequately express that on a spreadsheet! But I could in the journal. I meant what I said in the yearly goals-- I'm not going to define myself by my race times. But I'm still going to try to do my best to break those PRs. Being able to look back and see those little added notes will help me Believe that I can do it.

#NoExcuses Madlibs

• Hey 2015, it’s me jedimama (nickname, spirit animal, real name, blog name)
• This year I would like to run happy, build some strength, and break out of my comfort zone.
• It would also be super duper awesome if I also did PR the 5K and 13.1 this year. It’s not a resolution, though, just a reminder to myself to try and have the best year yet because I'm turning 40.
• The thing I am looking forward to most this year is running with friends again.
• I’ll use the one thing that truly gets me out of bed in the morning which is a full bladder to help me get up, get moving (verb) and get after my #NoExcuses 2015.
• Speaking of excuses (ahem), my very favorite excuse is lack of time and I have used it to get out of doing everything and then some on more than 1975 (number) occasions.
• I vow to move my body and be more healthy this year even if it means I have to go to bed earlier.
• Even if my alarm clock gets eaten by the dog in the middle of the night, I'll still get up on time instead of wasting the morning.
• I will stop blaming the girls [ex: kids, dog, husband] for eating the rest of the chocolate chips when everyone knows it was really me.
• My kids [job, hair, car, husband, kids] are not the reason I make excuses. I will show my kids [same as before] who's boss this year and get my running [type of sweaty activity] on
• I know that an outside run [type of workout] is better than a treadmill run [noun]
• I will reward myself by sleeping better.
• No Excuses 2015 has just begun and already I am imagining myself a winner. I can’t wait to rock an action jersey (article of clothing) from Augusta Active. I can’t wait till my sweaty friends are jealous of how fresh, clean and not stinky (adj) I am between workouts with help from ShowerPill body wipes. I can see myself rocking strength workouts [yoga pose / workout move] in new capris [article of clothing from Actio926] from Actio926 and looking fit and fly while doing it. And of course, I’ll be taking my workouts to the next level and improving my abs [noun] with my new ActivMotion Bar to help me train for my next  13.1 mile [distance] race with Sasquatch Racing.
• Oh, and let’s not forget how amazing my capris [article of clothing] will smell in my / during my speedwork [favorite type of workout] after washing with some WIN Detergent. And lastly, I’ll keep rocking my 2015 with clean eats and nutrition from Beaming with Health!
• Tag, Tweet, shout-out, call, text, fax or email 3 friends to take this survey and share how they will have a #NoExcuses 2015. Remind your friends to simply fill in the underlined parts!
• Use the #NoExcuses hashtag and post to win prizes from Augusta Active, ShowerPill, ActivMotion Bar, WIN Detergent, Actio926, Beaming with Health, and Sasquatch Racing.

Yearly wrap-up and future goals

Lotta green (Easy) on there… 

I decided to take it easy in December. No speedwork, no long runs. Partly because of holiday prep and sickness and partly because I did the Quickfit Holiday Challenge with Jessica Smith.

Stats

Mileage: 32.6 miles
Runs: 10
Bike: 39.2 miles
Trips: 6
Races: 0
Cross training: 22 days / 27 sessions

Not a lot of running, but more than last December (23.7) and I did a decent amount of biking and cross training. I also did a decent amount of socializing! Lots of nights out with friends and holiday celebrations. It's been a pretty good month. 

I recently got a new iPhone (5S) that can take full advantage of the Health App and count my steps and track my sleep and all that fun stuff. I manage to walk an average of 3 miles per day just doing chores in my house. The sleep tracker has confirmed that I sleep like crap. I'm awake multiple times a night and don't get a lot of deep sleep. I'm sick AGAIN though, so I'm hoping to get back on track. I was doing so well getting up at 6:30 every morning and it was easier to fall asleep but then Christmas vacation happened and we all got sick again and yeah. I hope to start again on Monday. 

As far as the year went… I wound up with 661.9 miles (yes I find that funny too) which is the most I have ever done. Sure, it would be great to have a 1000 mile year, but I don't think that's in the cards for me right now. As long as I keep going up, which is what I'm been doing, I'm happy. I think I'm also less likely to get injured that way. I've got 51.7 biking miles for the year to add to those running miles too.

Last year's goals: 

1. Run 4 times a week
2. Cross train 4 times a week
3. Beat my 5K PR of 27:35
3a. Set a new PR of 26:30
4. Don't get injured doing it!

1. 4 times a week is tough. I had some good weeks, but quite a few when I couldn't get that 4th run in. I'm pretty sure I did 3 times a week consistently though. 
2. Tee hee. I had months when I did a lot of cross training but many months when I did none. 
3. HAHAHAHA, nope. Not even close. 
4. No injuries, so that's good. 

So, not quite a successful year as far as that goes. BUT, I had lots of special running moments that meant more than the time on the clock (Ragnar, Wildcats Marathon with my kids, Ran a race with my husband, Running the half marathon for Fallon). I also participated in something called the Earthathon and helped other runners reach an awesome goal of running 25,000 miles. For 2015 I am helping to lead a team of over 20 runners (United Snails) as we try to reach 25,000 before other teams (there's still time to join! Go here to join a team. All you need is a twitter account.) It's a great way to stay motivated to run during a cold dreary winter.

I'm keeping my goals for 2015 simple:

1. Run 3 times a week
2. Bike 2 times a week
3. Cross train (strength, core, etc.) whenever I can
4. Run with friends whenever I get the opportunity! 
5. Be the best runner I can be

I'm not giving myself any time goals. I would like to PR at both the 5K and half marathon this year. I'll work damn hard to do it. But I'm not going to define myself by that. I'm not going to judge my success on numbers. I'm not an elite, not a pro, I'm just another Strong Running Mama trying to stay sane and be a good example to my kids. If I do the majority of my runs with a smile on my face (or at least in my heart) and run with friends and laugh, I'm doing pretty good. I am a million light years ahead of where I was 5, 10, 15 years ago. 

Out with the old, in with the new

Yeah. It's been a while. I've been pretty busy. Holidays, weekend getaways with good friends, basketball, life.

I haven't done all that much running. Sick kids, holidays, aching foot. Blah blah blah. I did get my table cleared off:

I'm pretty happy about that. I also got LightRunner's first year scrapbook done. 6 months late. But it's done. I am so glad that I decided to only do the first year when SkyWalker was a baby. I'm also glad that this is the last one!

We've been on school break for almost 2 weeks now and it's been great. We've had some scuffles, because I am a mean mom who made her son do school work that's not due right away. Apparently I have to be meaner though because I am starting to feel like I hold SkyWalker's hand way too much with his writing and that I basically write everything for him. I am like a mama bird vomiting the words into my baby bird's mouth. I am still searching for the right balance between helping and doing. (I'm not literally writing assignments for him but it just feels that way. It is very hard for me to accept how much he dislikes writing.)

Anyway.

Stats:

October: 24.1 miles
November: 32.8 miles
December: 23.7 miles

I'm okay with this. I think I really needed to slow down and be able to concentrate on other things. But now it's time to get back on the horse. Not literally because I don't want to fall and break my leg. I have a Ragnar in May.

I ran my highest mileage this year, even with having to take time off for injuries and kidney problems. I'm trying to not focus on numbers so much as improvement.

2012 was pregnant/newborn year. But I did breastfeed for 8 out of 12 months for 2013. As long as I'm going up… 

I had very specific goals for last year and I think I may have put myself under a wee bit too much pressure to achieve them without taking that whole breastfeeding thing into consideration. I know lots of moms bounce right back and run marathons with 3 month old babies… but I am not lots of moms. I barely ran while I was pregnant. I exclusively breastfed for 6 months. I pumped every day in addition to breastfeeding. And LightRunner is my 4th kid. Four kids are pretty tiring. I probably should have cut myself a little slack. 

Last year's goals:

I'm keeping it relatively simple for 2013:

1. Run (at least) 3 times a week.
2. Cross train 6-7 days a week.
3. Run a 28 minute 5K in April. (pre pregnant PR is 27:35)
4. Run a 26 minute 5K in June.
5. Run the 10 mile Clove Run in August.
6. Run the Mohawk Hudson Half Marathon in October.

Non running-related:

1. Read more books!
2. Fold and put the laundry away when it comes out of the dryer... not 3 days later.
3. To live life fully and spend my time doing the things I want to do.
4. To see more of the people who bring out the best in me and to return the favor by being a positive encouraging friend.

How did I do?

1. Mostly, except during injuries and recovering.
2. Not even close.
3. Pretty much. 28:30
4. HAHAHAHA
5. Done.
6. Done.

And then.

1. Done! (Lots of reading/blogging going on over at GoddessLibrarian. I joined Goodreads too!)
2. Yeah, no.
3. Yup!
4. I think so and I hope so!

So what's next?

I have a new schedule for January for running and cross training. I don't have anything in particular that I am training for yet which makes it a little difficult. I need a race. I'm not sure that a trail run is the best to pin my hopes on… or a race in June when we can be hit with 90 degree temps. I need a good road 5K in the spring. I haven't really looked for one yet though. So far, just two days into January, I've done well. I did a 40 min Superset Sculpt with Jessica Smith and then 40 minutes of intervals on the treadmill. I've been pushing myself to go longer faster. I started with 30 seconds intervals at a 7:30 pace and now I'm doing 45. I'm going to slowly bump it up. I also want to try adding some tempo runs into the mix but I have to figure out the best way to do that on a treadmill.

So. Goals. I've hemmed and hawed over how much pressure I want to put myself under. Do I want to be disappointed again? Or do I stop making excuses and push myself. I'm not breastfeeding. I'm not "hurting" anyone else by pushing my limits. I think it's better to be disappointed than it is to sell myself short. Which is the exact opposite of my keep the expectations low policy, but whatevs.

1. Run 4 times a week
2. Cross train 4 times a week
3. Beat my 5K PR of 27:35
3a. Set a new PR of 26:30
4. Don't get injured doing it!

I have kind of vague goals of sleeping better and eating better and drinking more water and being more patient and things that are hard to really measure. But those are relatively boring. Perhaps blog more should be on the list?

New race, new plan

7 weeks of training fun! 

I'm still sad and angry over the Boston Marathon bombings. I'm sure every other runner out there feels the same way. But I'm trying to focus on the future and on the things that I can control--which is very little.

Now that the Dodge the Deer race is over I'm setting my sights on my next 5K: the Freihofer's in June, which if you recall was my very first race 3 years ago. I am SO lucky to have a friend who loves to spread the joy of running so much that she makes training plans for her friends. Felice made me a new plan to get me where I want to be for the FRW and I took it and incorporated it into an overall exercise schedule which is now proudly hanging on my fridge. Unless I have a plan on the fridge it seems less official. I like to check off the runs and exercise that I do. This week got a little screwy with an unexpected stomach bug coinciding with my first scheduled run. Life happens. I plan on having the rest of my runs checked off and not crossed off, but when you're a Mama of four, sometimes unplanned things happen.

While so much seems out of my control and there's so little I can truly do to end the appalling violence our world seems hell bent on creating, I'll check my runs off, tickle my kids, see my friends, and try to hold on to the humanity we have left.

Goals but not the kind with nets and pucks (or balls)

Oh Time, how you fly. I keep meaning to post something here but I'm too busy living. Minutes, hours, days, they all blend into one. I blink and it's 2013 already.

Lightrunner is 5 months old and continues to be the source of light and joy in this house. We all hover about him like flies above a lamp hoping to get a bit of his luminescence. He smiles at everyone and even on his cranky days is just so happy. It's infectious. Impossible to ignore. He's been sleeping all night (11-12 hours) for quite some time now. I'm trying to hold out until 6 months for cereal. I think we'll make it. He tries his hardest to sit up when he's in his carseat or bouncy. He's never in one spot in his crib. I'm afraid he's going to be a mover.

The rest of the Jedi gang are doing well. Christmas break was not quite long enough. Vader took the whole week off and that was the best present I could have gotten... we played in the snow and watched movies and just had fun.

I'm taking the rest of this week to wrap up things that need to be done--badges on girl scout vests, mountains of laundry, etc--but next week my vacation is over. I have a 2 month exercise schedule (January/February) on the fridge, a combination of running and cross training (Jessica Smith's Thin in 10 routines), and once March hits I'm in 5K mode with a long plan culminating in getting me a PR by June. And then I focus on building my mileage and training for the half marathon in October. I got up to 9 miles before I got pregnant. I have no doubt that I can do the half (13.1) by October. I'll be down to just two nursing sessions by July (wake up and bedtime) so I can go out and run for 2 hours and not feel like I have to get back to feed or pump. I'm hoping all of the cross training I'll do will help.

My goal for 2012 was to just keep running. I've felt like I failed it because I stopped. But, in reality, I only stopped running for 4 months at the end of my pregnancy (a good reason to stop) and I started up again as soon as I could. So I'm going to say it was a win.

I'm keeping it relatively simple for 2013:

1. Run (at least) 3 times a week.
2. Cross train 6-7 days a week.
3. Run a 28 minute 5K in April. (pre pregnant PR is 27:35)
4. Run a 26 minute 5K in June.
5. Run the 10 mile Clove Run in August.
6. Run the Mohawk Hudson Half Marathon in October.

Non running-related:

1. Read more books!
2. Fold and put the laundry away when it comes out of the dryer... not 3 days later.
3. To live life fully and spend my time doing the things I want to do.
4. To see more of the people who bring out the best in me and to return the favor by being a positive encouraging friend.