What do you call it when an agnostic/atheist starts doubting her beliefs? Would that still be a crisis of faith? ;-)
I made my communion and went to religion for as long as I was forced to (not long) but I was never a "true believer" and have been agnostic for as long as I can really remember. But now... I find myself needing something more. Perhaps it's being a mother, perhaps it's my husband losing his father and not knowing what to say to my son. Perhaps it's just getting older and realizing my own mortality. In any event, when I lay awake at night unable to sleep because I am having yet another panic episode in which I realize that I will one day die and I am so terrified that I will die in my sleep that I just don't let myself fall asleep, I would really like to be able to believe in *something*.
I know I don't believe in any man-made church and I don't believe in religion and its rules. But maybe I don't have to. Maybe I can believe in some higher power, something responsible for all of us, who will accept everyone with open arms, regardless of religion or faith. Something greater than we are. *Something*.
