Surgery is still sucky, but the Princess is not

I mentioned in my last post that I would be having some minor surgery. I've apparently had an umbilical hernia for the last 3 1/2 years. Oopsies. Because small hernias can lead to big problems in grown ups, they tend to operate rather than wait and see, so I agreed to have it taken care of now rather than later.

Last week, Thursday, was the day of the surgery. It has kicked my ass. I thought out-patient meant "easy". It was anything but for me (and now that I've done my research, a lot of other people too). The CO2 gas from the laparoscopy was excruciating. I got sick from the codeine. Nausea, vomiting, constipation plus pain was super fun. It's been a week and I think I am at the regular soreness that the doctors speak of. If I move the wrong way I can feel the mesh poking me. I have to be super careful and slow and deliberate with all my movements. Sleeping is difficult. What's interesting is that my incisions are fine--very little pain in that area. Most of the soreness is on the opposite side of my abdomen, not even where the mesh is. I'm kind of wondering if the camera bumped into an organ! I am using my oils and they are helping, but it's still pretty hard.

Anyway, this past week has been much tougher than I expected. I'm not anticipating even trying to run for a couple more weeks. I might start biking first. I made my bed today and wiped down the kitchen table and I think I'll be on the couch for the rest of the day, if that's any indication of my energy levels. 

I keep thinking about The Princess and her surgeries and how young she was and whether or not it hurt as bad. She seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. I am so glad that part of our lives is over. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. And how pleasant the last year has been. There was a time when we just bugged each other, pushed each other's buttons, brought out the worst in each other. I say "a time" but it was more like 5 years or so. She was so quick to anger and tantrums and we spent a lot of time yelling. 

I've worked super hard over the last year on myself. On not blaming other people for things that I'm feeling, on taking responsibility for myself and my happiness, on not worrying so damn much, on being positive and grateful. I'll be honest, I think the oils have helped a lot in this. As I've centered myself, I think it has spilled over to her. In the last year she has been calmer, saner, and all together happier. I call her my bright-sider because she is always looking for the bright side of whatever has happened. She is super helpful and loving with her sister. She will still get angry from time to time, which is natural and normal--but she's not throwing huge tantrums. Of all of them she has the most empathy. A little while ago I started doing compliments at dinner time. I compliment the kids and they compliment each other (and sometimes us). She has completely taken to it and puts thought into it and is the first to remind us if we haven't done it. She also listens to everything I say--all the inspirational motivational things I have said over the last year--she takes them to heart. When I think back to how unbalanced she was--how unbalanced I must have been--it is amazing how she has transformed. I'm not sure if it's a temporary reprieve until she's a tween/teen... But so far 8 has been pretty awesome. 

Believe, part deux

I didn't get a chance last week to write up my race goals for the Steel Rail Half Marathon. It was a really busy week-- I was a surprise guest reader in Chewie's class and the Princess turned 8. The Strong Running Mamas celebrated our 5 years together with a night out not wearing running clothes. So, just trust me when I tell you what my goals were (although I think I may have talked about them once or twice before): 

All I wanted to do for this half was get back down to my original half marathon time of 2:15. That's it. I'll admit that I after my 5K PR, I did plug my times into the McMillian calculator to see what a 27:22 5K would mean for a half marathon (2:07) but I decided to just stick with my original 2:15 goal. I was slightly concerned that I hadn't done as many double digit long runs as I should have because I had those 2 5Ks. So much of my mental focus in my training has been on the 5K and not on this race, but I was fairly confident I would be able to do 2:15 again. I also really wanted to run negative splits which is always a goal of mine. 

My day started at 6 am which is wicked early for me. I wasn't able to eat much because of nerves and the time but I had my normal cup of tea. I also brought a hot cup of Runner's Tea for the car. In addition to the 40 ounces of water I had in my hydration vest, I had an extra bottle of cold Runner's Tea. I was pretty set with the liquids. We carpooled to the race and got there around 8:30. 

There were so many friends running this race. Lots of Strong Running Mamas:

Strong Running Mamas before the race

Lots of local running friends. And our very own Boston-finisher-should-be-elite runner: 

Me and Jim before the race

There were roughly 600 runners but it really didn't look like it. I tried to line up in the middle of the pack so I wouldn't go out too fast. I didn't realize there was a starting line so I started my watch when the "gun" went off which was 16 seconds away from the start. I realized it though so I decided to just use the mile markers on the road as a guide for my walking. At each mile sign I walked for one minute and drank the Runner's Tea and then my water. Anyway, as usual I started out way too fast which isn't the right way to go when you really want to negative split. My goal was a 10:18 pace and my plan was to run 10:20 for the first half and then speed up. My first mile was 8:49. Oops. I tried to rein myself in for the next few miles:

Mile 2 9:30

Mile 3 9:59

Mile 4 10:15

Around Mile 4 I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom. I knew there was a port-o-pottie somewhere around mile 6-7. I willed myself to just make it to the potty and then I would speed up. 

Mile 5: 10:21

Mile 6: 10:22

Mile 7: 10:03

I can't remember exactly where the potty was but it was a beautiful thing to see. I didn't care if I would lose a minute. I knew if I didn't go I would spend the rest of the race slowing down. My watch automatically paused which was both good and bad. I now know I only "lost" 1 minute 7 seconds thanks to the data on garmin connect. But I didn't know how much I had lost while I was running so I figured I should try to run a little faster. 

Once I had that out of the way I focused on running slightly faster and starting to pass some people. I was constantly taking stock-- my legs were good, my breathing was good, I was well hydrated, not too hot, not too cold. 

Mile 8: 10:08

Mile 9: 9:52

Mile 10: 10:14

Mile 11: 10:16

I started to falter just a bit at 10 and 11, but I knew I still had some time to play with because I was still above my 10:18 average pace goal. I walked for the last time when I saw the mile 11 sign. From then on I put it into high gear and tried to run as fast as I could and pass as many people as I could. At mile 12 I found Bridget and ran with her for a short time and then I just let it go. 

Mile 12: 10:01

Mile 13: 8:58

.17: 8:42

The last mile I ran with a huge smile plastered to my face. I knew I was not going to run 2:15. I was going to finish faster. The last 10th of a mile I saw Super Runner Jim (1st in his Age Group, 8th finisher overall) cheering me and it carried me through. 

My official time was 2:11:07 (that includes the potty break. The time on my watch because of the auto-pause was 2:10:16) with a 10:00 avg pace. 4 minutes faster than my half marathon PR, 12 minutes faster than my time in my last half just 7 months ago. I was not at all anticipating a PR. I was aiming for 2:15 and I was going to be happy with 2:15. But when I hit the half mark and did the math I knew I could do it. I just had to keep up the pace or preferably run faster and I chose at that moment to just BELIEVE I could do it. And at each mile I kept believing until I crossed the finish. 

Overall: 324/608

Females: 166/384

Age Group: 51/117

Despite starting out too fast, I think I still managed to run the second half faster (the first 7 miles: 69.19, last 6: 59:29). I know I definitely felt stronger and in control. My legs felt fine (although my toes did hurt a bit again), my breathing was fine, everything was FINE. I think that training in the heat definitely helped me because I was not at all bothered by it like everybody else was. I actually kind of liked it... I think the Runner's Tea helped me. I think adding biking to my plan, even though I haven't done any this month, helped a lot. Walking every mile REALLY helped. All the speedwork I did to PR for the 5K probably helped in this race as well. But more than anything else it was BELIEVING I could do it. I knew I was running smart and I didn't allow ANY doubt. 

So that's 2 PRs in 2 weeks. I can't even tell you how much I love that this is happening this year. In just a couple of weeks it will be 5 years since the very first race I ran and here I am running my strongest year. Just a couple of months before I turn 40 too... which is good because those ladies are FAST. 

I am super stoked and elated and really looking forward to NOT running this week. If I can get all the stuff done I need to do (clean the pool, finish the garden, plan a birthday party or two, scrub some toilets, write a MILLION book reviews), I'll start running again next week. If not, my first run back may be at the Freihofer's! 

Me, Bridget and Elisa after the race

Essential Oils

My last post (Believe) leads me right into this one...

I'm a pretty big skeptic. I don't believe a lot of things. I don't believe in ghosts, I don't believe in religion, I don't believe most things unless they are confirmed in multiple places by independent unbiased sources. Which is why it took me so long to look into Essential Oils. A couple of friends of mine have been selling them (visit Essentially Happy Living to buy yours) for a while now, but I resisted. Until this winter from hell when I decided I was ready to try anything.

I still believe in modern medicine. I still believe in vaccines. But I believe in Essential Oils now too.

My own personal evidence:

Over the last couple of years whenever I've gotten a headache Tylenol wouldn't work. The only thing that did was Naproxen Sodium, which is not great for kidneys. I'm not talking migraines, just regular headaches. Over the last couple of weeks when I had a headache I used a blend I made of lavender, peppermint & frankincense. The first time it did not get rid of my headache BUT when I took Tylenol it did. Since then if I use it as soon as I feel something I don't even have to take the Tylenol. Once again, these are your run of the mill headaches, not migraines. I haven't had one of those in a long time.

Last weekend my throat started to hurt. I gargled with salt water and oregano oil twice and it went away and never developed into anything. It was gross and I think I burned my upper lip a little, but I just put lavender oil on that and it's all good. 

I stopped taking my allergy pills and started sneezing again (yes, year-round allergies, joy). I use a blend I made of lavender, peppermint and lemon every day now. Sometimes I'll use a stronger blend  called Breathe. No more problems.

The Princess also uses the same allergy blend every day. At night I put Breathe on her chest and in a diffuser in her room and I haven't heard her snore. She was on allergy pills and a nose spray and STILL snored. 

In addition to these medical benefits to oils, there are also emotional ones. Now, here is where my skeptical nature has a hard time. I'm not sure I believe that rubbing oils can help emotions on a cellular level. But I do believe that smelling uplifting oils can help. And I am a HUGE believer in the power of the mind, the power of positive thinking. If my kids believe using oils can help them snap out of a bad mood, I don't care if it works on a cellular level or not. If they believe, it'll work. I made the Princess a Be Happy blend in her own roller bottle. When she feels like she's losing control, she can use it. She hasn't had to yet. When she gets going with a tantrum there is no stopping her. No logic. No threats. She needs to get herself out of it and this is a tool to help her do that. All she has to do is believe it will work. At least, that's my theory. Since I made her the blend she hasn't had any out of control tantrums. Maybe it's working already.

I've been using a diffuser in my room at night as well and I have been sleeping much better. No more coughing, fewer wake-ups. No more feeling like I will never fall asleep.

It may have taken me a while, but I'm a believer now. If you're interested in learning more about Essential Oils, visit my friend's website: http://thehappyrunner.blogspot.com/p/essential-oils.html . She'll make a believer out of you too.

There's totally enough time

Awhile back I was running on the treadmill and listening to the Another Mother Runner podcast.  The guest that day was Jill Farmer, author of "There's Not Enough Time… and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves." The basic gist I got from her was that her philosophy was less about how to do things faster  to save time and more about changing the whole IDEA of time. And since I am a big proponent on changing one's perspective and definitions of things in order to make life saner/happier/better, this book sounded right up my alley. I checked my library and they didn't own it, so I went to Amazon and on a whim I bought the e-book right before I left for Ragnar. I read most of it in the van and then finished it back home. I was right, it was totally up my alley.

I'm not going to do a real book review here because I do book reviews over here and I'm not interested in being even remotely professional on this blog.

The biggest things I got from the book is that we like to make ourselves be busier than we are so that we can have excuses for not doing things, and so that we feel "important." I think the latter is the biggest culprit for those of us who take care of our kids all day and don't work anywhere else (yes, I still hate the SAHM label and avoid using it). If I can appear to be as crazy busy and frazzled as working moms than surely I must be doing something of value. You get the idea. I am guilty of putting so many things on my to do list that it's impossible to get it all done and then I wonder why I can't get it all done and knowing I can't get it all done I avoid starting anything and waste more time on Facebook and twitter because why start if you can't finish? (Sidenote: SkyWalker's favorite argument for not wanting to start his school projects is "I can't finish it in one day!" Apple. Tree). Farmer has some good tips for distinguishing what really belongs on your to do list, your calendar, and a 2 minute list. If you need to call the dentist it doesn't need to be on your to do list. It takes 2 minutes. She recommends your to do list be no more than 5 items and one way of whittling it down is to get all those 2 minute tasks off it. Redoing my to do list has been a major help. I printed up a new Monday-Sunday page with a separate section for 2 minute tasks and Bigger Projects. Every day I have dishes and laundry to do and put that under the appropriate day. I don't REALLY have to put dishes there because I know I have to do it, but I like crossing it off. Things like grocery shopping, particular cleaning, planting the garden are all on the to do list. Calling people, responding to birthday invitations, mailing things, are 2 minute tasks. On my Bigger Projects list I had things like clean off my craft table, pack up the baby toys, pull the girls too small clothes. Things that would take a while but I didn't know which day I would be able to get to them. Appointments and exercise go on the calendar.

I have gotten ALL of my bigger projects done this week. Sure, I have more, but all of the ones I listed, ones that have been in my mind and just not done and bugging me for months are ALL DONE. I've been planning on calling the dentist for MONTHS and just never got around to it. But seeing it on the 2 minute list and knowing it would be done in 2 minutes was good motivation. BOOM. Productivity.

Of course I haven't been running or exercising much this week so the true test will be when I ramp that up again.

The other big thing I got from the book was more philosophical. If you think there's not enough time, you will sabotage yourself. You'll be stressed and frazzled and make mistakes. I have taken wrong turns and missed my road so many times when I'm late for something. Or you're rushing and drop things and then have to stop and clean that up. Now, if you've given yourself 5 minutes to get to preschool and it takes 20, well, no, there's not enough time to get there in time. But if you chill out and just think hey, I've got plenty of time to get it done, you'll relax, make fewer mistakes and you'll be 15 minutes late instead of 25. Simply changing HOW you think can change how you react and that can indeed save you time.

Also, it's okay to take breaks--lots of them--and do whatever you want to do. Breaks are good. You don't have to be busy busy every second of the day. I always think that if I sit to read a book when there are dishes in the sink that I lose my credibility… but taking breaks even before all your work is done can help you get motivated to finish up.

I am a big believer in self fulfilling prophecies. If you think this day is going to suck, it will. If you think the universe is out to get you, it is. Thing negative, get negative. Think positive, get positive. This book takes that idea and applies it to time and productivity. If you're one of those people who think you can't get it all done (whatever it is) or that there just isn't enough time, you should read it. There are plenty of tips in there I haven't even mentioned.

Walking on sunshine

I'm not sure how much time I will have. So rather than the long-winded blathering paragraphs you are used to, I'm going with the lists. I'm not sure if blathering is a word but I'm going to continue to use it because I'm a grammatical rebel. 

I love:

1. that my son has been dry 5 nights in a row now. Vader gets him up at 10 and that's it. The difference? I've made sure we eat dinner before 6:30, preferably before 6, even if that means we're already eating when Daddy gets home. 

2. that my youngest just fell asleep with her arm out of the swaddle. Perhaps she won't get as addicted as her older sister did. 

3. fun relaxing playdates with no drama. 

4. that I have become someone who looks forward to and enjoys playdates and can honestly say I have friends who are not just on the internet.

5. that I am becoming a morning person and getting up at 5/5:30 every day. 

6. that all 3 of my children are upstairs and I am not. 

7. that I reorganized my tupperware and glassware cabinets and pots and pans cupboards. 

8. that I am wearing my skinny shorts and have not done any regular exercise yet. I know. I just lost all my friends. 

9. that the sun is shining and the sky is blue. 

10. that SkyWalker and the Princess both sang Twinkle Little Star to Chewie at naptime.

And now I'm going to do something productive for the rest of my nap/quiet time. (No, Mama doesn't nap. What's the fun in that?)

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One of those days

It was one of those days. 

One of those rare, everything is going right sort of days. I know. You thought I was going to complain about something. 

I got up later than I should have, but early than I have been lately, so it was still good. The Princess was sitting in her crib patiently waiting for me without making a peep. SkyWalker got dressed with a minimum amount of complaint. The vet called and Isaac is just fine--all of the tumors were benign. We left the house on time. Got to Cartwheels for our meetup, had a blast, SkyWalker ran from me to play with things and even let me go to the potty while he stayed and played with other kids. The Princess cooed at the other meetup mom who could make it and let me walk away from her as she played. It was amazing. There was only one mom there from my meetup, but it went great. And I have found a new reason not to complain.* Anyway, her 16 month old daughter gave the Princess hugs and the Princess seemed to like it. She was also very interested in SkyWalker, as are all the little girls. Her son is SkyWalker's age but he was off playing with someone else he had just met. He seemed like a nice boy though and one who would get along well with SkyWalker. It was a great meetup. 

From there we went to our favorite place to eat and met up with one of my friends. SkyWalker was amazingly cute and hilarious. Aside from the Princess's insistence on shredding napkins and dropping them on the floor, they were both very well-behaved and I couldn't complain about anything. 

SkyWalker requested that we not go home but instead go "somewhere". He had earlier asked that we go to the internet to find the numbers he wanted (I told him I didn't think they would be in a store and we'd have to get them on the internet)... so I said how about checking out our favorite store and we went to Target, despite the Princess not having had a decent nap yet. They were both pretty good at the store. I bought myself a $4 1000-piece puzzle and some storage bins. We checked the toy section and didn't see the numbers or any mats at all. A clerk came walking by as I said to SkyWalker "I just don't see them." The clerk asked what I was looking for, called someone and led me to the spot... where they had one package of the mats left and it was... numbers! Amazing. And it was cheaper than what it would have been online. The only problem is that they are bigger than the letters we have at home so they don't interlock. I don't know where my MIL found letters so small... SkyWalker's solution is that Grama needs to find new letters. He's a funny boy. 

I am hungry and tired and waiting for Vader to come home from grocery shopping. But it's all good. 

* So this adorable 16 month old girl with little glasses on her face and the sweetest little smile had brain surgery in January! Her brain was just too big and she had to have part of her skull and vertebrate shaved down to make room. She developed complications and there was fluid in her brain so she had to have a shunt put in. She'll probably have to have some type or shunt surgery every 10 years or so as she grows. Can you imagine??? She's tiny, the size of the Princess, and looks young. But you can tell she's a fighter. She was independent and walked away and played and showed no fear of anything. She was so amazing. Really an inspiration and a reminder that when you think you've got it bad there's always someone else who has it worse... and her mom was so calm and together. This is her 3rd child and I think I would have pulled my hair out. The surgeries have been in Rochester so there's been lots of driving back and forth. I'm sure she had her dark moments, but she was inspirational too. It would be easy to be pessimistic and negative and I didn't get that from her at all. Just amazing. 

And with that the Princess has decided to cry out. She slept last night, but lately she's been crying for no apparent reason in the middle of the night. I think she just needs a little cuddle. But she doesn't go back down easily. The other night I had to just leave her crying. She was done by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, but it was still not the best way to spend the middle of the night. Ah, she has quieted herself. This is what all the sleep training is about. 

It is now 9 pm. I am hungrier. Time to eat and watch some How I Met Your Mother and hope the dogs don't bark when Vader gets home.

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