I always thought this house was full of too much gas

I'm not running now because I'm waiting for a return phone call about our continuing water problem. I will bet anything that I will not get it. I did not run on Monday because I was waiting for the Culligan man to come. He was supposed to come between 1-3. He pulled in the driveway at 2:55. Awesome.

Even more awesome is the craptastic result of his visit. But, let me go back to the beginning.
Our water sucks. There's sulfur and clay in it. We've always had a Culligan filter system. Chlorine takes out the sulfur and F86 takes out the clay. We've always had some kind of problem--too much sulfur, too much chlorine. There's never been a nice balance. Back in 2008 (thanks archives!) we had to have ALL of our pipes replaced because the chlorine was eating through them. Vader talked to Culligan and asked if there was another system we could use because of that and they said Nope. So we spent $6000 to replace all of pipes with Pex instead of Copper.

Guess what? The chlorine was never supposed to be in the water. But, once again, I'm ahead of myself.

So, a couple of weeks ago I did a bunch of laundry, as usual, and the water smelled like rotten eggs by the end of the day. Vader checked and something was wrong with the pumps. Culligan came, did a tune up and got things working. He randomly mentioned that we should think about getting the chlorine filter replaced because it's only supposed to last 5 years. We've been here almost 10. Vader asked how we would know if it needed to be replaced. The guy said we'd smell chlorine or sulfur. Hello? We said we always smell  chlorine or sulfur. It's never odorless, it's always one or the other. He said the chlorine filter has TWO functions--to take out the sulfur and to take out the chlorine. Could someone have told us that when we said chlorine was eating through our pipes? Think they could have said THEN, oh, there shouldn't be chlorine in your pipes at all.

Argh.

So then we have some other Culligan guy come out to replace the filter. He says there's something wrong with the "box" on top with all the controls and there's no sense replacing that because now we're getting into the $700 range to fix an old system. We should just get a new filter. And by the way, we should have a filter to to take out the F86 that's taking out the clay. So yeah, our water should not have sulfur, clay, chlorine or F86 in it. And it does. So now we're looking at replacing two filters and the price tag is getting in the thousands. Right before he leaves (after doing nothing) he tells me we also have methane in our water. Methane gas. He lit a match over the water and it went PFFOOOM instead of doing nothing.

Yeah.

We met with the Culligan salesman last night. To get the two new filters we need and the aerator to get rid of the methane gas will cost us nearly $8000. Yes, $8000.

I'm thinking of putting a sign out front saying "Free meth" but I'm not sure it'll work...