Monday, April 23, 2012

Stop the insanity!

Today I set up the pack n play, high chair & swing.

I am only 25 weeks. This beats my previous record of 28 weeks, but it's not as bad because I had everything done then & I am nowhere close to having everything done now.

We heard back from the architect and she has proposed a different plan... Which might work as long as Vader is happy with the windows and amount of natural light. We need to contact them now (they sent a written proposal).

I just want my friggin attic done. I want the carpets ripped up in the kids' rooms. I want to rearrange everything that needs rearranging & get everything set.

I suppose it's good that I have to wait or it would be done now. Which is insane. But, it's easier for me to move crap around now than when I am huge & it is summer. So there is a logical component to this.

I have birthday parties to think about and a garden to set up soon but this is what weighs on my mind. This and when I'll be able to run again.

I've pretty much decided I'm done running. I haven't run since April 3... I haven't run more than a mile or 2 in a long time. It's not just physically hard for me, it's mentally impossible. I can't stop being afraid of every twinge and ache. The fear and the stress of trying to run has sucked all the pleasure out of it. If there's one thing I've always tried to do, it's run my own race, and I've tried really hard this last year to keep it fun and run smiley. I don't want to ruin all of that now... So I am done. For now. I am very tempted to sign up for a race for post-baby now, but I need to wait. I do fantasize about going early again and being able to race in August--the last race that I really ran! That would be nice.