Monday, May 5, 2014

Worked hard = win

I didn't do it. I didn't break my PR. Didn't come close. 

And I'm okay with that (now).

But let's rewind to the day of the race--the race I have been pinning all of my PR dreams on. Vader took the kids to soccer (where the Princess got a goal & Chewie did fantastic at her very first game) & I got a ride with two good friends who were also running the 5K. We got there with plenty of time, but parking and having to bring our swag back to the car took up a good chunk of it. We peed & got to the start with just 5 minutes to spare.

Before the race: Melissa, Sara, me & Elisa. 

I started out okay & did my first mile right on target but then I just slowed down. I thought about Lauren Fleshman telling me to go get it:

and I sped up. But it just wasn't quite enough to get the time I wanted. I finished in 28:06, no where near the 26:30 I had been hoping for. But faster than the 28:30 I have been getting. I was disappointed with my time but tried not to beat myself up about it too much. For whatever reason, I just don't have it in me right now and the more I think about it & analyze it the more stressed out I will be and this is supposed to be a stress-reliever not a stress-inducer. After the race we stuck around for the awards ceremony because we were pretty sure that my speedy friends had placed. And sure enough, they had. They both finished in 23:26 which is just amazing and one got the trophy for 3rd female finisher and the other got a gold medal for first in her age group. I'm not quite sure why we didn't leave right then, but we didn't, so when they announced the next age group awards (mine) and the 3rd place winner had a slower time than me, I looked at Sara and she looked at me, and we wondered if I would get second. But they didn't call my name for second. They called it for first and I got the gold medal for the 34-39 age group. I've looked at the race results and there are only 3 people in that age group. Ha! But, when I change it to 30-39 there are 6 people and I am second (with Sara first), ahead of a couple of young 31 year olds! Ha ha! It kind of took the sting out of not getting the overall PR. I was 36th out of 109 finishers and 1st in my age group. That's not bad. Ironically the last time I was 1st in my age group was when I set my PR, nearly three years ago. 

Darlene, Sara, me, Elisa & Melissa with her big-ass trophy.

I told my new pal Lauren Fleshman (okay, we're not pals, but how cool would that be?) that I didn't break my overall PR and had disappointed her. She unknowingly gave me the best advice ever with her response. She said I didn't let her down and that "worked hard=win." I have been obsessing over numbers and paces and competing with someone 3 years younger, with fewer kids, no awareness of kidney stones (maybe no stones at all!), no hydration issues. I will try to get as close as I can to that 26:30, but from now I am going to leave the past behind and just be the best runner I can be TODAY. I am going to stop stressing over times and paces and just do the best I can and remember that this is supposed to be fun. When I set my last PR I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't trying to, all I was doing was trying to do the best I could. As long as I work hard, I win. It doesn't matter what the time on my watch says.


Sara Westcott said...

You're a kick ass woman! And who cares if there were only 3 women in your age group... you were still first! xoxo

GoddessLibrarian said...

Aww, thanks Sara! You're pretty kickass yourself!