It doesn't matter how much extra Vitamin C and zinc we take, or hand sanitizer we use, or even getting that all too sought-after nap... we are powerless against the soft snotty kisses and cough-infested hugs. And then it is too late.
Cough.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
what time is it?
My children alternated crying last night. For the entire night. And when I mean entire night, I mean it. I think I slept for roughly 2 hours. I finally just turned the monitor off at 4 but since I already had a splitting headache it really didn't help. SkyWalker peed his bed 3 times. They both have runny noses. SkyWalker is not that bad... I have to decide now if I want to send him to preschool or not. I hate to see him miss so early on when he's still getting used to it. But I don't want anyone else getting sick.
head. pain.
I have more cupcakes to make and bathrooms to clean and crap to do today and I have a feeling I am going to need to take a nap.
And my daughter is covered in yogurt and cheerios.
What a fine start to the day.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Happy Birthday SkyWalker (and me)
SkyWalker turned 4 years old today. I can't quite believe it has been that long. We went to preschool and although I still got the clinging to me hug and the request that I not leave and the sad face, there was no crying. The Princess and I went back less than an hour after we left so we could share the cupcakes. We stayed the rest of the time since his teacher and I agreed that 2 goodbyes would be too much for him. The Princess pretended she belonged there and tried like hell to do the water color painting and everything the big kid's were doing. And screamed at me when she couldn't get a second cupcake. SkyWalker talked to his teachers while I was there and seemed to do okay. He wasn't too distracted by us.
We went to Denny's for lunch with Grama and then he and I went hunting for leaves as the Princess napped. I'm trying to get him to say he wants to go out for dinner too so I can get out of cooking. He's being a goofball and non-committal right now.
Would you like to hear how much of a pathetic loser I am?
On Monday the Princess and I went to the Y to join. I filled out the paperwork and the guy gave me a bingo sheet and told me if I took it all home and filled it out (all heath stuff--avoiding soda and TV and things we already do) then he would waive the $100 signing fee. Sweet right? I said sure and left without handing the paperwork in. Great. Only it's not. Because now I've had time to rethink. And second guess myself.
I can't do it.
I was explaining yesterday why I didn't put SkyWalker in preschool at 3. He had only been home with me for a couple of months at that point, after having been in daycare for nearly 2 years. I wanted my time with him and I am glad I did it. I said that I would probably put the Princess in at 3 since I've been home with her since day 1. I realized today that although I have been home with her I have not had any alone time with her. Not more than half an hour here and there when Vader and SkyWalker are busy outside. I thought back to this last week and farting around Target with her and going to the library and how she's been in the best mood... and we spent one day walking around Target just kissing and singing to each other. And it was the best.
I have a million good excuses. I only have 2 1/2 hours of SkyWalker being in preschool. I only have 2 days I can go to the gym. Do I really want to spend all that money on an hour a week? Maybe 2 hours? I'm making even less money now (I always type monkey... wouldn't it be funny if we got paid in monkeys?), should I really be spending it? Do I want to do this now when I know I won't be able to go with a newborn next year?
But really what it comes down to is that I don't want to waste one single minute. I just dropped a night of work. I've been thinking about identity a lot lately--how I'm really not the goddesslibrarian anymore--and what I realized is that above all else, before anything else, I am Mom. And I might be a pathetic loser with high cholesterol, but you know what? I'm okay with that.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Two steps forward, one step back
Since his sister's surgery SkyWalker has pooped in his underwear 4-5 times. Today, however, he outdid himself. He pooped outside. In front of the swing. I was inside and he was entertaining himself and when I got out there he said "Don't step in any [SkyWalker] poopie!" and I said "Huh?" And then I saw. I asked if it came from his underwear and he said no, he peed and then decided to poop there too.
What the dilly-o people?
On the one hand I'm glad that he's pooping again and not holding it in anymore, but what the hell??
Of course his sister's surgery coincided with the start of preschool. I don't think that it is preschool...
His sister has officially become a big girl. It's not the walking, or drinking out of a big girl cup and sitting at the table with us, it's not the way she laughs when she does something naughty, it's not that she's not sleeping with the pacifier anymore*, it's not that she likes to bring me her shoes, it's going up the ladder on our playset and then down the slide. By herself. While poor Mama tries to quiet the voices in her head and not have a panic attack. How do I know this makes her a big girl? SkyWalker. He's been asking for a few weeks now why the little jobber is a big boy but the princess is still a baby. Apparently going down the slide without Mommy is the only criteria needed.
Last week, the day after the Princess's surgery I took the pacifiers away. I put her down for a nap and told her no more pacifiers. She pointed to the top of her dresser. They were not there. She pointed to the floor but none had fallen under the crib. She pointed to the dresser drawer. They were in there, but I wasn't getting them. She cried and cried and I left. Less than 10 minutes later she was asleep. She has not had one since and has slept just fine. What was I waiting for??
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Goofballs
I am completely lacking in focus right now. I intended on making a bookmark on discipline books or doing some other work-related work but I just can't focus. I am tired beyond tired and the only thing I can attribute it to is spending all day at the hospital yesterday. And thinking about all the things I still have to do. Like clean and bake cupcakes and more cupcakes and more cupcakes.
The Princess was amazing yesterday. They delayed her surgery so she had to wait even longer with an empty tummy and she was SO GOOD it was just, well, amazing. I did let her have her pacifier towards the end because she was getting tired as well as hungry. They took her away and she didn't cry, just calmly let them hold her. The surgery itself was only half an hour. She came out of the anesthesia crying and screaming and really unhappy. She refused to drink any water. She finally just screamed herself to sleep in my arms and slept for at least half an hour and then when she woke up she was much calmer. She cried when they took out the IV and the blood pressure thing, but got over it quickly. When we got home she drank water and ate chinese food and jumped on Mama and went to sleep without any medication. Today she has been a complete goofball, jumping on the bed, sticking her hand in the toilet, and wrestling her brother whenever she got the chance.
We won't know if it was successful until November when she has her VCUG and Ultrasound. The surgeon sounded confident but couldn't commit to anything. So now we just wait and see.
SkyWalker seems to be doing just fine in preschool. He's talking about some of the kids and while I'm sure he's not playing with them yet, he's willingly going there and doesn't seem traumatized. He's having a hard time with his poop again but I think that's because of the Princess yesterday and not because of preschool. It's possible it's preschool, I'm pretty sure he's not going to poop there and once he holds it in it's never good, but I would bet that it has more to do with worrying over his sister. Hopefully he'll get it out tonight.
Today my son said: "You need to see my butt crack", bent over, dropped pants, and showed me his butt crack. Good times.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
So far so good
SkyWalker had his "first" day of preschool on Monday. The Princess and I were right down the hall, but I didn't tell him that. He was only there for an hour but he did pretty good. He talked to his teacher and did what he was supposed to do and told my mom that he made friends with a couple of kids. Vader just left to take him for his first official day.
They scheduled the Princess's surgery for noon. We have to be there at 10:30. This pretty much sucks, BUT it's going much better than I thought it would. I went upstairs at 11:30 last night with a cup of yogurt and some milk. She had just a little milk but she ate most of the yogurt, proving once again that she is her father's daughter and can eat at anytime, anywhere. She smiled and talked and kept looking at me like "Is this for real?". I hope tonight I don't hear "Where's my yogurt woman?" through the monitor. She woke up slightly before 7, I changed her diaper and acted like it was the middle of the night. I put her back down and she went back to sleep. Or at least stayed quiet enough that I could eat and shower. She woke up again at 8:30 and I gave her the water she was allowed to have. We are downstairs in the office now and she is trying to ride a bike AND play the ukuele at the same time. So far she doesn't seem to have realized that we have not eaten. We still have a little less than an hour to go before we have to leave though. I think once she's in the car she will be okay and then she will be distracted in the hospital. I am so glad I gave her that yogurt.
By the end of today, in the last 4 years I will have had to be in the waiting room 3 times as my children went through surgery. I think that's more than my fair share, don't you? Funnily enough I've also had to go through 3 dog surgeries--all for Mr. problem dog Isaac. I would like to be done with surgeries now.
I need to somehow pack some snacks for myself and a sippy cup for the Princess without her seeing. I cannot believe how calm and good she is being, but I'm sure that will change if she sees some food.
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