I'm making cupcakes for tomorrow's non-birthday party (pretty sure I'll have extra to take to work on Monday. Who can eat 48 cupcakes?) and remembering what I was doing 2 years ago. I was celebrating my release from the hospital by laying on the couch and being afraid to pee (because I knew I was still bleeding and didn't want to see it). Little did I know the very next day I would be sent right back to the damn hospital. Only I wouldn't be coming home alone.
SkyWalker has changed my life in so many ways. He's made me a better person. He's made me happier (which is pretty frickin' sad because I don't think anyone would consider me happy...). He's my reason. My reason for everything.
At least I won't be spending this weekend bleeding to death. Well, actually I might be, but 2 years ago I really thought I was bleeding to death. After the delivery when the blood just wouldn't stop I was honestly afraid to go to sleep because I thought if I did I wouldn't wake up, and if I could make myself stay awake then I wouldn't die.
I'm totally serious.
I'm also feeling a little nostalgic and sad over a part of my life that's ending. I'm weaning myself off a former addiction, something I should have done long ago, but for whatever reason I tried to hold on to it. I haven't cut all ties yet, but I'm pretty damn close.
And that is all I'll say about that.
4 comments:
happy non-birthday and non-dying party tomorrow.
Happy Birthday Skywalker! ... Now, on to my "real comment"... You DO seem happy to me... Maybe not 100% of the time, but who is? Of course, just being around me is cause to celebrate, so I may not see what most people see... Teeheehee! As far as the addiction goes... Well... I always knew that you could stop the crazy orgies if you put your mind to it... Good for you! ;)
Happy birthday to the big toddler boy. I'm not sure if you seem happy or not, who knows, and who am I to comment on other people's state of minds at this point. I'd say you seem a tad over-anxious and stressed at times. Relax. Give up whatever addiction you are talking about, (are you just saying that to make jewjewbee and me wonder what the f**k you are talking about??? is it slimfast? chatty? monkey socks??) and take up a new one -- say, doing a few shots of something before we open up the library. Vodka, robitussin, whatever. That should do it. And, um, I could probably eat 48 cupcakes. Give me a week or so, but if forced to, I could do it.
yay! congrats on skywalker and you! not sure which is better, bleeding to death, or having a blood clot that can kill you (isn't it great, going back into the library once you've given birth?).
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