Sometimes being a complaining...

... pain in the ass on this blog is useful. I just went through my archives and my pregnancy and #2 tags to see where I was at this point last time. And boy can I bitch. It seems that the painful BH contractions are starting a bit sooner this time around...  but that makes sense since I was mostly sitting down at work all day and not carrying toddlers or chasing them. But reading everything really reminded me that this has been an okay pregnancy! No bleeding. No impending surgeries (that we know about). No weekly fetal non-stress tests. Just normal pregnancy aches and pains. And most important--no frickin' PINK EYE! I had that for at least a month towards the end last time.

I am 34 weeks tomorrow. I get the BH contractions and I've been having more pelvic pressure but I feel more like things are just moving into position and less that I'm going to go into labor early. I really truly don't believe I will last the whole 40 weeks, but I really don't think it'll be before 38.

And reading my archives reminded me that just 2 days before I had the Princess my best friend was in New Jersey and I was sure I was going to be in labor and she wouldn't be able to watch SkyWalker (and my mom was out since it was school vote time). But it all worked out--she got home from Jersey and THEN I went into labor. I have to believe that the same will happen again. I will not go into labor when Vader is in Batavia (Buffalo, not country). In my ultimate fantasy my mom comes up for SkyWalker's preschool graduation the next day (the day I am 38 weeks) and I go into labor after the graduation. I know that neither of these will happen--it won't be when Vader is gone and it won't be when my mother can magically come up. But it will be okay. I have enough friends now that surely there is someone I can call if need be. It will all work out.

Speaking of having the Princess... that was 2 years ago tomorrow. I can't quite believe so much time has passed by. I also can't quite believe I am 34 weeks pregnant! When SkyWalker turned 2 I peed on a stick and found out I was pregnant with the Princess! She is such a big girl now. She repeats everything we say, everything her brother says (good and bad), she likes to be silly and make people laugh. It's been so amazing to see her grow... to see all of her firsts and to be with her every day. I'm so truly grateful that I was able to not return to work full time.

A friend wrote a blog post the other day about having your "thing"--something that you don't give up when you become a mom. Her thing is running and she makes time for it no matter what else is going on in her life (yes, everybody laugh now, I read a running blog. No, I'm not eating cheese doodles when I read it. Mostly because I don't have any right now.) Anyway, since I read it I've been trying to think of what my "thing" is. What haven't I given up? Because I gave up A LOT. I used to do a lot more reading. I reviewed books for VOYA. I co-judged the VOYA poetry contest. I had my *own* poetry magazine/website. I was fully immersed in teen librarianship. I used to give presentations at conferences and people knew my name. I gave all of that up. But none of it could really have been my thing if it was so easy to give up right? Now I'm immersed in the whole Mommy thing--I started a mom's group (me?? starting a mom's group???), we have playdates and preschool and I'm totally doing the Mommy thing. But I think my "thing" has to exist outside of that.

And I think this is it. This random mind-dump that I do in here. I can't keep up with my handwritten journals, but I blog. I ponder and wonder and philosophize and theorize and I blog it all. And sure, it's nice when people comment because that is why we have public blogs right?, but it's not essential. It's enough that I get it out of my head. I used to fancy myself a writer--that ship has long since sailed--but I think blogging might just be my thing. (Until I hop on the damn twitter bandwagon that is...)

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