I have a lot of mom friends now. Some of them have more than one child. Some of them are pregnant. Some of them have more than one child AND are pregnant. Know what I've noticed?
I'm the only one that looks like crap!
What the hell man? I clearly cannot use the excuse of children and pregnancy since these people obviously know the secret. Even when I shower my hair is always back in a pony tail, makeup is a foreign word to me, up until a couple of hours ago my eyebrows were in serious need of some plucking. My skin is all blotchy. I repeat, I look like crap.
Don't go saying "You're pregnant! You have 2 children!". Read my first paragraph again. There's one mom in particular, and my mom friends who read this will know who I am talking about, who is just a model. Tall, blonde. She has a 14 month old and is pregnant and the only way I can say this is She. Is. Hot. Hot. There is no other word. If you look up MILF in the dictionary, you will see her. I repeat, what the hell man?
There must be some secret I don't know. Something they are not telling me. I bet they're sacrificing chickens each morning.