What's the point?

I just finished my anime movie program. With one teen. Where are the big numbers everyone promised me? I wouldn't have even done it for the one teen but when I got in the room (I left at 6:10 to canvas the area and returned at 6:15) she had already pressed play. I said "Did that start on its own?"

"No"
"Did you press play?"
"Yes"
"Well... that was pretty ballsy."

And just left it at that. And despite the fact that there was ONE teen, I am now down 4-5 cans of soda. How she went through 4-5 cans I don't really know.

I think it's safe to say that I will be cancelling my February program and not doing this again. Everything is cyclical right? We'll focus on the tween programming now, get another core group in here, and they will grow up to be teenagers.

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I should stand up more at work

And then strange men wouldn't hit on me. Seeing as how obviously huge I am getting.

Anyway, I am tired. Exhausted. I can't even begin to say how tired I am. Refer to my last post about Thursday night's sleeping fiasco. Last night was somewhat worse. Apparently while I was at work SkyWalker did NOT want to nap for Daddy. Which is a first. Daddy was not giving up though so there was crying for an hour and half, resulting in vomiting. Joy. He finally fell asleep around 3ish, which is when he should have been getting up. Vader got him up at 5. That's a bit late. I was home shortly after and we had dinner. We tried to get SkyWalker to go down at 8ish. He kept getting out of bed, crying, screaming, carrying on. Vader stayed up there for at least an hour putting him back in the bed. Finally he just left him screaming at the gate. I went up there, checked his diaper, he said he wanted to sit on the potty (total bed-avoidance tactic). I put him on the potty, he did nothing. I gave him tylenol just in case something hurt (I took the risk and stuck my finger in his mouth to see if his 2nd year molars are coming in, there is some swelling but I don't know for sure). The tylenol didn't even work. Gah. I was up with him until after 11 p.m. I rocked him, I held him, I sang to him, he was fine, no crying. I put him in his bed he immediately got up. But he was so tired I still don't know how he didn't just keel over. I managed to get him to lay down on his belly and I rubbed his back. I stopped rubbing his back and he patted his back and looked at me like "C'mon woman, keep going." He was clearly exhausted. As was I. So I did what I have never done before, in a moment of weakness, and I let him fall asleep with me holding his hand. It's as if he's forgotten how to fall asleep on his own and how to soothe himself, and what do I do? I let him fall asleep not only with me in the room, but holding my hand! Argh. But I was so tired.

At 4 a.m he woke up crying. Vader went up there, did the usual diaper check, and left. Crying continued. He cried for 10-15 minutes, stopped for 1-2  minutes, cried again for 10-15 minutes and repeated the process for nearly an hour. We didn't go up there. But I was still wide awake (and hungry!) and frustrated. Vader woke him up at 8:40 this morning. He says he's not going to put him down for a nap at all today. My suggestion was to get him down early and not let him sleep past 3:30. If he's waking up from nap at 5, he's not having a snack. And we don't have snacks after dinner (well, HE doesn't have snacks after dinner) so he might be hungry. He might also be teething. He might also be having growing pains. He might also be asserting his independence. He might also just be a normal 2 year old.

There has been a bit of daycare drama lately and lots of upheaval and his favorite teacher is not there anymore. So he could be reacting to that... but who knows? He's gone through crappy sleep periods before but this is the worst. That could just be because he's older and can scream louder though.... I don't think he's really in any kind of pain because he was totally fine as long as I put him on the potty or was holding him. He was downright cute. It was so irritating. He kept giving me little smiles and snuggles AND get this--he was rubbing noses with me! He has NEVER rubbed noses with me. Ever. As much as I tried. The only nose rubbing I get is from Haze. But last night he was rubbing noses and caressing me and hugging me and using all of his tricks. He did repeatedly say "wind" and it was windy, but even that was just an excuse. I think it was just a power struggle. And I'm not really sure who won.

Tonight had better be better. I am tired. I need my sleep. I am 5 months (22 weeks today) pregnant and I need my sleep!

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My queendom for a nap

Not necessarily for me. But for a certain little jedi who is refusing to nap at all. And after such a horrible night you would think he would be wiped out. I left work "early" so I could get home, poop in peace, relax and watch the musical Scrubs. When I got home SkyWalker was up because the damn dogs had barked. Argh. I made the mistake of going up there. He kept asking to use the potty. How can I say no to that? So he actually peed on the potty 3 times! Yay, wonderful, but he just wanted to sit there. He kept saying pee and poopoo and cried when I tried to put him back to bed, but when I put him on the potty he didn't poop. Both Vader and I tried to calm him down numerous times. I finally had to leave him screaming at the gate. And he SCREAMED for at least half an hour before he finally fell asleep. I can only hope on his bed. Ugh.

He's been mostly okay today, no more potty business although we have flushed his poop down the potty a couple of times today. He washed his hands after and when I told him he was done and got the towel to dry his hands off he managed to turn the faucet back on and burn his hand. He SCREAMED again. Is it any wonder I have headaches? One of his fingers is a bit redder than the others so he must have gotten it good... but it's not blistering and I'm sure  he'll be fine.

I don't know if he's picked this up at daycare or just doing it on his own, but he's been giving me this fake, showing all his teeth smile, whenever he knows he's skating on thin ice or he's just gotten me to read him yet one more book. It's funny and annoying at the same time.

Interesting observation--when I was home alone on Wednesday the dogs did not bark ONCE. They growled a couple of times but no barking. As soon as I picked up SkyWalker and he was home, the barking began. I think I have been replaced as "One to protect." Either that or they're so used to him saying "I E bark." that they think they *have* to bark. (I=Isaac and for some reason E=Haze).

He's been saying "Puzzle" and it is the cutest thing in the world. I don't know why he didn't start talking sooner when I give him a standing ovation every time he says anything! Right now he is playing with a huge box we have in the living room from one of our recent purchases. Nice to know all these toys aren't a waste of space. Argh. He's also been drawing "O"s. He wanted me to draw a bunch of circles, (he says "O") so I told him to and he actually hesitated, thought about what he was doing and drew a circle. Not perfect, but pretty damn good.

One of the three of them has either farted ("bart") or pooped because it stinks right now. I think I would notice if the dogs pooped... they have been farting really bad today so it's very possible it's not a SkyWalker poop. That would be the 3rd of the day and I'm really not in the mood for another one. I don't know how I got such a pooper when I have to struggle and work at each one...

I just ordered new contacts online (refills) and I got a cancellation notice saying when they confirmed it with the doc it wasn't the right prescription but the doc gave them the right one so they changed the order. I was confused and after scrutinizing the wrong and fixed orders I finally saw what it was. Instead of -5.0 I put -.5 for one of my eyes. Yeah, that's a difference. Oh, I cancelled that doc appt the other day because it was clear I did not have pink eye. I have hypochrondritus. I hope it goes away soon.

Why is throwing a piece of string on my lap and then pulling it away so amusing?

I may not get naptime today, but at least it's almost snack time. I need a snack damnit.

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Gah! Goop + bloodshot eyes....

Last night before I went to bed there was a tnnnnnnnmm

                                   m  

Okay then. SkyWalker obviously got ahold of the laptop... damn barking dogs. Anyway, there was a tremendous amount of goop in my left eye before I went to bed. I woke up at 4 am and I couldn't open my eye. Sigh. Vader got me a warm wash cloth and I managed to unstick it and it was wicked red. So I called the doc this morning to see if I could get in today. Totally booked. But they have an appt at 9:15 tomorrow. Argh. Vader took me and SkyWalker to an Urgent Care place that I would never normally go to. Closed until Jan. 23. So he took us back home and went to work. I can't see very well with my glasses, not really well enough to drive, and with the red irritated eye it was just worse. Which is why Vader had to drive us. I just called the doc now to see take that 9:15 appt. tomorrow. Gone. So now I have an appt. at 2:15 p.m tomorrow. And I have to figure out if A) I can risk driving myself or make my husband take more time off from work B) Do I go in to work tomorrow morning or take more sick time? Argh. It's not like I'm a 2 year old rubbing my eyes on everyone but I don't want to expose other people. Once I get the drops and start using them then I think I can go back. I'm trying to save my damn sick time and I had to leave early yesterday for something ridiculous and now I will probably be out 2 days in a row. ARGH. Maybe a miracle will happen and I will wake up tomorrow with normal eyes. But I've never had eyes stuck together without it being pink eye.

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Row Row Row Your Boap

First, let me just say that SkyWalker is sleeping, that *I* put him there and there was no crying or getting out of bed and minimal nonsense. I had wanted him to be in bed by 8, but I just don't think that will ever happen again. That's the downside to a kid who sleeps past 8 if you let him... Anyway, he didn't want to read any books and as soon as I told him his time was up and shut the light he started saying "book". The librarian in me hates to say no, but the Mama has to. Shockingly enough he laid down in his bed and didn't get up when I left.

It's NYE and I doubt I will make it to midnight. We didn't last year. I don't think I even care anymore. Sleep is way more important.

Funny things the boy has been saying/doing: We've pretty much given up on any formal potty training, but in an attempt to tell him how things work when I changed his diaper one day I told him that Mommy and Daddy pee and poop on the potty. He has decided to make that his new catchphrase and when he has nothing else to add to the conversation he says "Mommy Daddy pee poopoo". Yeah, thanks.

The past couple of nights during bath time we've been singing "Row Row Row your boat." For some reason Vader loves that song. I find it very difficult to sing and really don't see the point of singing at different times. Anyway, we did it the first night and SkyWalker enjoyed it. The second night he asked for "Row Row Row" and did this hand motion like he was rowing a boat. Maybe he picked it up in daycare? Maybe he's just brilliant? Maybe he was having a seizure? I don't know. Anyway, we did it again and he joined in with row row row. So we tried to get him to say "Your boat". Instead he says "your boap." Which is how he's been saying boat but it was even funnier coming at the end of row row row. So for the rest of the night he kept screaming "Your boap" at me. Tonight we tried to get him to say "boaT". He says "boap. T." It was hilarious.

Good times. :-)

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Big Boy Beds and other things

Vader and I decided that SkyWalker's "big" Christmas gift would be his toddler bed. Not that SkyWalker really cares about "big" gifts or anything like that but it made me feel better. I bought the bed back in July and we just hadn't put it together. Friday night Vader assembled it, brought it to SkyWalker's room and made sure the mattress fit in it (we only have one mattress). SkyWalker jumped on it, loved it, and said he wanted to sleep in it. We left the crib in his room partly in case he freaked out, and because we had to take it apart to get it out and it was just too late. Around 2 am, we heard him cry, Vader went upstairs and he was standing between the bed and the wall, apparently he had fallen out. Vader put him back in. Around 7 he cried. By the time Vader got to the stairs he was done. When Vader went up there after 8 to get him up he was back in his bed. The next night there was no crying. He's been in his toddler bed ever since.

The only problem has been with me--SkyWalker has been resisting sleeping for Mommy for a while now. He did it with the crib too, so it's not a bed issue. But with the bed he can get out of it and refuse to lay down. Which is what he's been doing until Daddy comes upstairs... but that's a problem SkyWalker and I are going to have to work out on our own. Other than that, he's been great with his bed. He stays in it until we go up and get him, he hasn't asked for his crib and doesn't seem to really care that it's gone. He usually adjusts to things pretty quickly so I don't why I was stressing over it before.

Christmas was good. SkyWalker got lots of nice presents. His unholy love for Thomas the damn Tank Engine has been solidified. Ugh. We got matching sock monkey pajamas for our Christmas Eve gifts. And we looked pretty damn cute wearing them.

Vader shocked surprised me with a speaker docking system for my iPod. Very very nice. I actually got teary.

I am posting from work because no one showed up for my anime program. So I am taking a little break. I never take my second break. But now I am.

It seems like the entire world has this week off. Except for me.

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Holy lack of motivation

Lookee me, posting from work. Ah well. There were many years I never took my two ten-minute breaks, so at this point the library OWES ME time. Right?

I am in a funk. I know, I know, when am I not in a funk? It has been painfully slow in the children's room, there were flurries this morning and it's wicked cold (when it was just in the 60s last week) and all of this leads me to want to just snuggle up somewhere and take a nap. Not really conducive to the whole working thing. I'm going to a teen workshop thing tomorrow so hopefully that will break up the monotony of this week. I think people are probably out shopping as there are no storytimes so there's no reason to come to the library.

SkyWalker has been talking more and more lately. It's so funny to watch. I've known for a while now that he had a much larger vocabulary than one would think--we use flash cards with him and he tell him to point to the various words/pictures and he always gets everything right. Now he's finally starting to say those words back to us. He's always loved the alphabet too and I am no longer allowed to sing anything other than the alphabet song. If I start singing something else he interrupts me to say "ABB!". The past few days he's been identifying letters whenever he sees them and he repeats each letter back to us. He never does all of them each time though--for some reason he has to say "No" to letters that I know he can say but he just chooses not to at that time. Last night Vader and I were with him before bath time and Vader pointed to each of the letters in his alphabet puzzle and he identified most of them correctly. He gets a little impatient though and wants to skip ahead so he points to his favorite letters (right now it's "W"). He knows the difference between the M and the W now (he used to use them interchangeably) and he says W so cute-- "douba". He's growing up so quickly and turning into a real little boy.

It's probably good that we don't have comfortable chairs here. I think I could fall asleep right at the desk. Although if I did I certainly wouldn't be the first one of us to do so... ;-)

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