Didn't I say DOWN with the sickness?

Things actually worked out well for us yesterday--I managed to get an earlier doctor's appt, he sent the prescription to Wal-Mart through his cool electronic pad thing so we went to Target and got a few things (including a new set of toddler sheets and comforter for the Princess's big move to the toddler bed) and then went to Wal-Mart to pick up the prescription. I only had to wait a couple of minutes as opposed to 2 hours as usual. The doc said that he's heard that before about them and he recommends people go to Target because they have the same $4 plan but are much quicker. Vader never has a problem when he goes food shopping each week so we'll keep the Princess's amoxicillin there but I think from now on when we have a one-time only prescription we might just go to Target. I'd rather fart around there than Wal-Mart anyway...

The Princess has a 102 fever but is climbing on the couch now. SkyWalker has no fever, but puked on the couch. So far he is the bigger baby. We did not go to preschool. He said the Princess needed to watch some TV since she picked up the remote and he managed to find Nickelodeon. Diego just happens to be on. How do these things work out for him?? So the both of them are watching Diego, with the Princess taking breaks to bring him a new toy or jump on the couch. I have a feeling it's going to be a long day. 

We had all of these plans for tomorrow and now everything is up in the air. 

The Princess just handed her brother a tissue, got one for herself, wiped her snotty nose and then threw it out in the garbage. She is quite the little mother. She helped me clean up the couch after SkyWalker puked. Even though she is sick herself. Just like a mama.

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Down with the Sickness

is a good song from Disturbed but you already knew that right?

This is a sick house.

The Princess broke out in hives Monday evening which got worse on Tuesday. They would appear and disappear and come back in other places. Very odd. We went to the doc on Tuesday and they tested her for strep and that was negative. Since then she's had a fever and a cough and clearly has some kind of virus. SkyWalker has been coughing as well so last night I gave up my humidifier so they would each have one. I don't think we've ever had all 3 of us needing one before. Last night was horrible. They were each up coughing and crying. Vader went up and did who knows what. At 3:30 (after hours of off and on whining) I went up and gave the Princess some motrin. She was definitely warm but not enough for me to confirm it with a thermometer up the butt. I checked SkyWalker and he too had a fever and very willingly took some tylenol. They slept "okay" after that. I did not. I've been dealing with bloody snot every night and a stuffed-up nose and I'm fine with that but yesterday my upper teeth started hurting *really* bad. I have finally called uncle and am going to the doc this afternoon where I am sure they will tell me I have a textbook case of a sinus infection. And that I have a big nose which is what happened the last time I went there with a sinus infection. I think there's something I can take, I hope there's something I can take, since I am allergic to penicillin and can't take amoxicillin. There's got to be something. We had a dentist appt this morning so I had to make the appt for this afternoon, after naptime. Which would be all well and good except Wal-Mart is notorious for taking 3 friggin' days to fill prescriptions and I don't want to wait around there for hours with them. Particularly since I have to work tonight. I may have to drop it off and then have Vader come home a little early so I can pick it up on my way to work.

The only thing worse than taking care of sick children is doing it while you don't feel well yourself. And on that note the Princess is crying Mommy and apparently not going to be able to fall asleep. Maybe I should see if I can get an earlier doc appt if she's not going to sleep anyway... 

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Conversations with a 20 month old

"Did you have a nice nap?" (This was yesterday when she napped. She did not nap today).
"yes"
"Did you dream?"
"yes"
"What did you dream about?"
"poopie"
"You dreamt about poopie??"
"poopie"

I don't think she did dream about poopie, but was instead telling me that she had a poopie in her diaper. A rather smelly one at that.

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Funny

So I've been doing really well making friends and having a social life--but they all live in neighboring towns. I decided I needed to be more proactive in making friends in the "community" I live in--which is a bit of a joke since we have no community. Anyway. I put a flier for my mom's group at the little local library around the corner as well as the Stewarts and (this is the kicker) my children and I drove around and put fliers in mailboxes of houses that had playsets and toys. So far there's been nothing. 

I also sent my new neighbors a note asking if their kids were of babysitting age. I just got a call. There's a 19 year old but she's away at college in Pennsylvania. Getting her LIBRARY SCIENCE degree. How funny! She would transfer but she's getting her Bachelor's and nobody around here offers that. She *might* be home this summer. I had mentioned in my note that I would like to have a mother's helper this summer when I have the baby. I repeated that and mentioned that we had gone to the "beach" a lot last summer and I would like to do it again this summer but I don't know how I would handle all 3... this girl is also a trained lifeguard. I told her mom that she has to make her come home for the summer! How cool. I also mentioned the possibility that she could volunteer or do something at the library to get some experience for her resume... There were just so many coincidences, it was hilarious. 

And for even more. I mentioned on facebook that there are 3 houses for sale on my road (I was thinking of a different 3 but after checking I think one has been sold, but there's another cheaper one further down now so there's still 3) in addition to the land for sale. And I asked if anyone with kids wanted to buy one and be my friend. It would be nice for SkyWalker to know kids he's going to school with and to have someone to get him off the bus in an emergency. My neighbor-friend is great but she works full time and I think if anything I'd probably get HER kids off the bus. Which is fine, but I'd like someone else home during the day to live near me. One of my old college buddies who is from here originally sent me a message saying that she has a really good friend that lives near me. We were all in the same graduating class... turns out she's talking about the school principal that we met last week (the one that SkyWalker ignored). Talk about small world. 

Out of 3 houses for sale SOMEONE with kids has to buy one right? 

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Time

This Saturday is the 17th.
Vader and I will have been together for exactly 15 years and 4 months (Sept 17, 1993).
Vader and I will have been married for exactly 6 years and 5 months (August 17, 2002).
SkyWalker will be 4 years and 4 months old (Sept 17, 2004).
And it will be exactly a year since my FIL passed away.

I still remember the night before. It was a Wednesday and I was working Wednesdays then. I had a horrible migraine. It had been weeks since I had seen my FIL because my in-laws and Vader didn't want SkyWalker to see him so sick. Even though I felt like I was going to vomit from the pain, I called my MIL and decided to visit. I knew it would be the only time I had without the kids. I went. It was hard. He couldn't speak and wasn't very aware. I thanked him for letting me be a part of his family and said goodbye. He reached out his hand to me. Something he had not done. And then I left. I knew when I left that it would be the last time I would see him. I told my husband that his mom said it was going to be soon. I KNEW it would be that night. My MIL called and Vader said he would be there the next day. I've often wondered if there was more I should have said to Vader. If he understood it would be his last night. I'm not sure I could have said enough. I'm pretty sure he was in denial because he told all his work friends at the funeral how much quicker it happened then he expected. Anyway, we went to sleep and the phone rang at 5:30 and I knew.

I can't believe it's been a year.

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Payback

While SkyWalker was attempting to get his pull-up and pajamas on tonight, the Princess was jumping all over him and  wrestling with him and being a royal pain in the ass. Although I have a headache and I really wanted them to get to bed, I have to say I enjoyed every minute of it. I had to pull her off of him. It was hilarious. All of those times he was in her face when she was too little... all of those times he jumped on my back when I was trying to do something... it was so satisfying seeing him squirm and beg her to get off of him. Of course he was giggling and enjoying it, but still. 

I managed to change all the sheets and clean my bathroom sinks before I went to work yesterday. Instead of farting around Target the Princess and I came home with SkyWalker was in preschool and I did the dishes and a load of laundry that normally would have had to wait until we got home and then had lunch and then put the Princess down for a nap. I got most of what I wanted to get done so that we were able to pick him up, have lunch and not have much clean up to do. Usually the breakfast dishes are still in the sink. Because I got so much done earlier when I put the Princess down for her nap I was able to use my brand-new treadmill! I only did 15 minutes (hey, some of it was uphill) but I figured I'd better take it easy and start slow. The last thing I need is to do too much and wind up bleeding. The toys are all picked up, the dishes are done. I have some more towels to fold but they are easy. Bills are paid. I feel a little more in control today. 

I am totally buying myself an iPod Touch. 

We're refinancing our mortgage and "saving" almost $300 a month. Of course we've had to add 5 years because they don't have a 25 year old, but that's okay. We hope to pay more when we stop buying diapers and get it paid off earlier. Anyway, so there's that. I've been paying $500 a month for our oil budget plan because we started in June when oil was a million dollars a barrel. Between the plummeting prices and turning the heat down in the mornings I have racked up a huge credit. I called a couple of weeks ago and got them to cut my budget payment in half. I think I could have gotten away with paying nothing for the next couple of months, but I'll take what I can get. And today I counted up all my change and I have $129. 

So I am totally buying myself an iPod Touch. 

Not just because I want one. Not just because my current iPod won't hold a charge and is just not reliable anymore. Not just because it would be wicked cool to get on the internets when I'm stuck at the hospital for the Princess's surgery (they have free wi-fi. I checked.) But because I deserve one. I have been working really hard at being more than I am. Being a better person. I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and started the meet-up group and made friends. I have a lot I could be bitter about but I try, everyday, to see the bright side. To see the sunshine. To be the complete opposite of who I've always been. So damnitall, I'm totally buying myself an iPod Touch.

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I have lost control

Not of my children. I don't think I ever really had that. 

I've lost control of my house. I am too embarrassed to have playdates. It's just beyond a mess. I can't keep up. There are always more dishes, more laundry, more piss on the toilets. I've never cared about dust or the little nooks and crannies but there are crumbs on the floor that just don't go away. I sweep and they come back. I sweep and Isaac scratches his skin off and Haze drops her dark fur all over. The Princess's poor baby dolls are covered in Haze hair because she leaves them on the dirty floor. Whenever I feel like I've made a dent I have to deal with a crisis somewhere (Daddy's cds thrown on the floor! out of their cases!) and then I have no energy anymore to do anything else. I have no energy to do anything really. In addition to being mom of 2 kids-tired, I also have pregnant-tired, and then medication-tired so I'm pretty friggin' tired. If I do too much I vomit. 

For a while I was has-it-together-girl. I have a spreadsheet of all the rooms and what's required in them and I'd check it off as I cleaned each toilet and changed the sheets and vacuumed and whatnot. Now it is just a painful reminder of my inadequacy. I keep thinking it will get easier. As I go more days without vomiting, I'll be able to keep up. But it just doesn't happen. I cleaned the toilets on Wednesday and already it's like I never did it. 

I'm thinking that instead of asking for a treadmill for Christmas (which finally came today) I should have asked for a maid. Just once, just to get the house cleaned once, and then I could stay on top of it. You know, after I tie up the children and the dogs.

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Dinner time conversation with the Jedi

SkyWalker: How come I don't have a womb?

Mommy: Because you're not a woman.

SkyWalker: Does [the princess] have a womb?

Mommy: Yup.

SkyWalker: What do girls have on their penises?

Mommy: Giggle. Giggle. Girls don't giggle have giggle penises. Girls have giggle giggle....

SkyWalker: Vaginas. 

************************

The Princess produces a "rippler" of a fart and announces: far

Mommy: Yes, I know. I heard it. Are you sure you didn't poop?

The Princess: No, no poop

The Princess: grunting

Mommy: Are you trying to poop now?

The Princess: no, far

Mommy: You're trying to fart?

The Princess: far

Good times my friends. Good times. 

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Routine

Today was the first day I left the house since a week ago, that's right 7 days, when Vader and I got our flu shots. While in some ways I am perfectly fine with that, I feel very disconnected. We haven't had a playdate or seen our friends in ages. The Princess found a Christmas card with her friend's picture on it and latched on to it, carrying it around and saying something. When I wasn't looking directly at her I SWEAR she said "Conal". It was quite cute. Yesterday while I was laying on the couch after vomiting a second time SkyWalker told me to get up and get dressed because he wanted to go to Tony's house. Sorry kiddo, not today.

Anyway, today was back to our routine. We got up much earlier than we had been and left the house at a time when we were just eating breakfast the day before. Luckily SkyWalker was excited to go back to preschool and had been asking all week when he was going to go. Unluckily it was my turn to "volunteer" so the Princess and I had to stay the whole time and help. The Princess is all ready for preschool. She played with the playdough and the puzzles and sat in a circle on the rug and stood in line and was all in all pretty good. Except when she took her shoe off and had to try to put it back on herself and very vocally said NO! when I tried to help. SkyWalker played with other kids and participated in everything and was really comfortable there and that was good to see. 

Isaac went to the vet on Saturday and she's pretty sure that he did tear his ligament. She thinks that it is not completely torn though and that there is a *chance* it will repair itself. So for the next month we give him painkillers and keep him on the leash. While this sucks mightily, particularly since it is cold and icy and snowy and who's home to take him out on the leash?, it's not as bad as being confined to the crate. He's free in the house, doped up so he's a *little* less barky, and since he's on leash he can't eat his own poop. Maybe he'll start to stink less. There's only one being in this house who hates the cold and snowy and icy as much as I do, and it's Isaac, so he tends to not want to go out anyway. It's not like the summer when he's outside playing. So it's not as bad as it could be. 

Speaking of cold and snowy, I was actually a little sad when the snow melted all away on Christmas morning. I think I finally understand what I want--I would like it to snow once in the beginning of the season, a big 3 foot storm, and then just keep that snow for the rest of the winter. 

The Princess is a little chatterbox lately, pronouncing words that her brother just started saying correctly. They play together really well and love to hide together and search for bears. They've been playing hide and seek with Daddy which is just as cute as it sounds. I took a little video the other night and will get around to posting it sometime. 

When the Princess was born and SkyWalker kissed her little head whenever he saw her I thought I had seen the cutest thing in the world. Then when the Princess started kissing HIM I thought that had to be it. I particularly love bedtime when I tell her to go say goodnight to Daddy and her brother and she toddles to his room and says "Nite" and gives each a little kiss. But I think I have finally seen it--the Princess giving her baby dolls little kisses. It's even cuter listening to it on the monitor when she's in her crib and I can hear her kiss-smacking noises. 

OH and SkyWalker has been trying new foods! On Thursday I made chicken and rice and broccoli in a completely different way and he refused it and begged for pizza, crying and screaming. I had told him that it was something new and then he could try it and if we didn't like it that I might very well be eating pizza with him. His Daddy did not hear that. So he's whining about the pizza and Vader just YELLS about dinner being dinner and blah blah blah. So now's he's screaming and crying about the pizza, but still hasn't tried the dinner. I felt bad for him because I know exactly how he feels. So I started crying, for him and because Vader yelled at me too. SkyWalker said "Don't cry Mommy" and continued asking for the pizza and then boom, he tries the chicken and the broccoli and says he "kind of likes it" and then eats the rice and pretty much eats everything. I gave him the pizza then. He asked for more pizza and then whined when I said he could have more rice and chicken, but still. When he was all done he said "That was a good dinner Mommy." The next night I made swedish turkey balls with noodles. He ate all his noodles and wanted more. I had given him a tiny meatball on a plate. The Princess had shockingly NOT eaten her meatballs at all and also wanted more noodles. So I said "whoever eats a meatball first, gets more noodles." She immediately sticks one in her mouth and eats it. I look at him and he's got one on his fork and eats one! And says "I KIND OF like it." Saturday night we had turkey hot dogs and he actually ate half a hot dog. He told me that he's going to try things now to see if he likes them and if he doesn't then he'll ask for something else. The something else seems to be bread with butter, so I think I might be okay with that. As long as he gives it a real try instead of taking a tiny bite and immediately saying he doesn't like it. Of course he can't admit to it, so he has to say "kind of" but that's fine with me too. I told him I was very proud of him. 

The two of them are giggling like crazy in their tent and I almost don't want to go upstairs to make dinner. But #3 is overruling them right now.

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