Weaning

I did not nurse the Princess last night. 

I know. I didn't nurse her Wednesday or Thursday night either, so what's the big deal? Last night was the first night I made the decision not to do it. Tuesday night I tried to feed her and she squirmed out of my arms so she could crawl after her brother into the bathroom, climb up the step stool and brush her teeth. Thursday night Vader didn't give her a sippy cup of milk at bedtime and she slept just fine. So last night as it got later and later and closer to bedtime I just decided not to offer. If she still wanted me she could have asked. She didn't. 

She did still nurse this morning and I'll keep that going for the next few weeks. I have to remind myself that I've been doing this for 13 months now. She came out of me ready and raring to go and she did really well. She started to lose interest as soon as she had a taste of big people food, but we still kept it going. I was lucky enough to be home with her all day and not have to pump that often. We did really well and it's a lot to be proud of but it's still a little sad. A couple of people have asked if she's my last. I can see how it would be harder to let go with your last, but I don't see how's it's any *easier* to let go now. She's not my last and I know I'll do it again, but this is about her and me. Not about my breastfeeding future. It's about our relationship changing. She's growing up, getting independent. And as much as we all want that for our children and we try to guide them there, it's still sad when it starts to happen. 

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