Thursday, March 29, 2007

My exciting morning

No, let me go back to last night first.

After my lovely cuddling session with SkyWalker, which culminated in his losing my earring backing, the SOB, I had yet another breakdown. Crying hysterically. Fun. This time I did not hide in the shower but let it all out while handwashing the dishes that needed to be handwashed. Vader was visibly shaken and dare I say near to tears himself. I just laid it all out--how scared I am every single day. How every time I go to the bathroom I'm afraid I'm going to see blood, how I EXPECT to see it. How scared I am being alone each evening and the weekends when he is working. How scared I am in general. He tried to come up with ways to make things easier for me--making dinner the night before for me to just heat up--but it's not cooking or dealing with muddy dogs or any of that. It's being alone. I need HIM. I need him home so I can rest, and not rest by watching a damn Choo-Choo movie, but really rest and not have to change diapers or let the dogs out. And he can't do that right now.

So that was last night.

This morning I noticed some cramping and felt even worse than usual. Joy. I had my checkup scheduled for 9:30 so at least that worked out for me and I didn't have to call in special. I mentioned to the doc that I had the cramping and that I've been having a lot of pelvic pain walking and rolling over and the BH contractions. I think I forgot to say I had lower back pain. Oh well. In any event, he had them do an ultrasound in the office. The placenta looked fine (baby weighs 4 pounds now). I had a non-stress test to check the baby's heartrate and after 20 minutes they managed to get what they were looking for (they needed to see the baby's heartrate accelerate at least twice and stay up for a certain amount of time). They did see it which means there's no evidence of the placenta not being intact. And there's no bleeding at this time either. So I'm okay for now. But I have to go in every week and have a non-stress test now (because of my history).

The baby's head is down (no shit) and in a "perfect position."  "Oh--you'll have an easy time if we have to induce or if you go into labor naturally." Well thanks dude, but I'm hoping to avoid that for at least another 5 weeks.

I guess the positive is that I'm okay today and they will be checking me every week. But I would really really like to have a pregnancy with no drama. How 'bout next time? No bleeding, no impending surgeries, no strange pee-pee problems. No drama. Just a nice normal 40 week pregnancy. Thanks.

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Bee said...

Pain, fear, and pregnancy hormones together do not a good combination
make... Man... Wish there was something I could do to
help... :(

ayanna said...

i remember the weekly non-stress (and stress) tests. i'm thinking of you lots, and sending you vibes of health and rest. :*